22 Haikus about the Thing - a review

Rating: 9/10 (28 November 2011)

Through snow the dog ran / Man shoots at it from chopper / Won't turn out so well
All's wrong with Norway / Dam dog ran away again / Nope, it's something else
Monster runs through snow / Helpless scientists don't know / Dog is Monster - Doh!
The scariness builds / The dog - very sinister / I won't crap my shorts
An alien dog / With four legs and many more / Is causing problems
Tension is building / Alien meanies are free / These guys are all f-cked
They taught the Incas / And yet dogs will still eat dogs / Things will get worse fast
Spider monster dog / Of course the dog is from space / ...found its UFO
Clearly they're all screwed / Guess it's time to torch our friends / No one's what they seem
Now man against man / Or are they aliens now? / Who are your true friends
Monsters are everywhere / Doubt and uncertainty rule / Terror in subzero!
Suspicions mounting / Who's head is going to explode? / Guess we'll wait and see
McReady breaks in / Frozen man with dynamite / Severed head crawls off
Death and destruction / Things are not looking good now / The flame is the key
The Thing must survive / But God Bless our flamethrower / And blood test for all
Burning blood reveals / The monster among the men / Spaceship under ice
They're burning the blood / Uncovering the faker / Who wants to eat them?
So when all is lost / They make things blow up real good / To make it all stop
It all became clear /When we tied each other up / Just two would survive
Face melting goodness / Polar base incinerates / Face the end in snow
The Thing is so dead / Blown to bits with dynamite / Will there be Thing Two?
Shot guns - Flamethrowers / What kind of research was done? / Where do we sign up?