Blah.

Rating: 1/10 (18 November 2004)

An ultimately bland, dull, and pointless exercise. As slow moving as 'The Big Chill,' John Carpenter's version of Campbell's classic 'Who Goes There?' is more faithful to the monster but ultimately as thrilling as a term paper.
While the Howard Hawks film re-wrote the monster into a simple marauding, though intelligent being, at least that film built a sense of menace and a hurtling momentum to its story. Carpenter's version is slow, talky, dull, and punctuated only by over-the-top silliness that shows his puerile obsession with gore-puppets. The 'paranoia' of people who may not be who they seem plays much better in 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' or 'Planet of the Vampires,' or even in Campbell's own story. This version is simply so slow, the characters so stilted, the story so jumpy and plodding that the final act of the film is a relief, not an experience.