Retreat!

Rating: 1/10 (4 June 2010)

When embarking to watch a film with the reputation and star power this one purports to employ, you expect to enjoy, or at least respect it. So, one questions oneself when viewing and absolutely abhorring the picture - there must be something wrong with ME. Not so, friends. The movie is just dreadful! How can this be? A movie boasting Sean Penn, John Travolta, Nick Nolte, John Cusak, George Clooney, Woody Harrelson, and a host of others should be good, right? Well, one way to ruin it is to have most of this power cast appear on screen in little more than cameos. Another is to have no script or coherent story. Then, have nearly all the characters either appear as trembling hysterical cowards, or carrying out insane heroics. Also, use plenty of pseudo-profound narrations and express lots of anti-war sentiments. For good measure, throw in many silent flashback scenes of one GI intimately interacting with his attractive and compliant wife.
And when you do have dialog, make it inane and entirely nonsensical (Sgt: "I'm gonna make you a stretcher-bearer." Soldier: "I can take anything you can throw at me." --- Huh?) You should also have the 'tropical' terrain look like the hay-fields of Iowa.
The Thin Red Line is a tapestry of snooty artsy intentions and battle-babble that runs on seemingly longer than the Guadalcanal campaign itself, and is no less painful to endure. I am more than halfway through it, and I am withdrawing from this beachhead and leaving it to its occupiers. Be kind to yourself and skip this one altogether!