Absolutely Unprepared

Rating: 1/10 (16 May 2011)

I missed this one in the theaters. Forgot all about it. Saw it on a list of 'Best War Movies' online, remembered all the buzz from when it was new and thought I'd give it a try. Big mistake.
I like war movies. I like movies that take a turn from my expectations. I can watch a dog of a movie and find at least some redeeming qualities. Honest. Except for with this one. I was dumbstruck that this thing had such a good buzz for no apparent reason. I couldn't turn it off because I honestly thought that the worse the movie got and the longer it dragged on, the more awesome the ending would be and would turn the whole thing around. I anticipated that the folks behind the movie must be brilliantly toying with my emotions and something unbelievably cool would be waiting for me at the end. That was the only rational explanation for the buzz, right? RIGHT?!? wrong. Even after spending my teenage years going to poetry nights at a coffee shop I've never EVER heard anything so pretentious and boring as this movie. (Especially not supposedly coming from soldiers who are busy humping it through a jungle!) This movie is completely unforgivable and I'd give it a zero if only I could. Life is far too precious to waste by watching this.