Seagal makes triumphant return

Rating: 9/10 (5 February 2015)

We doubted Steven Seagal. We all did. We thought he'd never again reach the magisterial heights of 'Belly of the Beast'. Well put your sausages back on display because in The Theory of Everything Seagal storms back to his violent best.
Synopsis: Seagal plays Steven Hawking, a hitherto unknown maths journeyman who meets some woman, gets a debilitating illness and writes a book that nobody would ever read because it is full of made up words. The combination of these events makes Seagal furious. What follows is a terrifying martial arts tournament on an Island in which Seagal beats the living hell out of every single mathematician walking the planet (and believe me, there are more than you think. There are 11 of them). Seagal's delicate portrayal of Hawking culminates in him succumbing to his illness and being turned into a transformer, before killing his arch nemesis (some douche box called Jonathan) with a judo pinch. Seagal struggles with the maths bits but excels at running like a constipated emu. 5 stars.