Squirminal

Rating: 1/10 (27 January 2005)

This is clearly one of the worst movies you will ever have the misfortune to see that stars a masterful actor (Tom Hanks) and was turned out by a respected and fantastically successful director (Steven Spielberg).
Here the ridiculous premise is populated with the usual suspects: government officials that are either evil, incompetent, or both; workers who are just too stupid to be believed; spoiled and uncaring Americans. The only exception is the pretty immigration clerk (someone Saltana), whose pretty brightness shines through Spielberg's attempt to make her a mindless bureaucrat. The Indian janitor is just annoying in his stupid suspiciousness, and his luggage and food handling buddies make Cro-Magnons seem like geniuses.
No, not a single character to like or identify with. Even Hanks, at his skillful best, cannot breath any sympathy into the character of the moronic Navorsky.
Why, when the Feds find Navorsky cannot understand English do they communicate with him exclusively in that language? Why are they trying to starve him into breaking the law? Why was Catherine Zeta-Jones even in the picture? Why is every person walking through the airport so uniformly ignorant? Does Spielberg really think so poorly of his fellow Americans? After the first five minutes, I was looking at my watch and wondering if the movie was ever going to end. I squirmed through the entire first hour and finally said to myself, I don't care about any of these people, and life is too darn short to waste on this piece of garbage!