Way too cutesy

Rating: Null/10 (6 July 2004)

(Some spoilers) I can't remember the last time I rolled my eyes more watching a movie than I did watching The Terminal, basically a 21st century remake of the 1981 Gary Coleman masterpiece, On The Right Track. We are to believe that not speaking English gives Victor Navorski a childlike innocence/perfection that surpasses all other fish-out-of-water characters, save the incomparable E.T. Hanks leads a nauseatingly saccharine group, that includes, most offensively, Catherine Zeta-Jones as slutty flight attendant Amelia Warren, and Kumar Pallana as Gupta Rajan, the Indian janitor with the endless one-liners. Gupta's idea of fun is to wet the floor then sit two feet away and laugh loudly as people slide and break bones. His character is boorish and stupid almost to the point of offensiveness. Zeta-Jones does nothing for the good name of flight attendants world-wide, as she alternates between sleeping with married men and trying to pick up Victor every time she comes in contact with him. Her character is really left out in the lurch as the movie ends, as she seems to be in the same rut as when we first met her. Hanks' character, of course, goes from total outcast to having every last man, woman, and teenager working at the airport gazing upon him with complete rapture. There are numerous silly subplots, including a completely unbelieveable Star Trek type romance, and we are led to believe that no one working at the airport has any friends, family, life, etc. outside of the walls. They're basically in Victor's shoes as well. Sounds unbelieveable? Spielberg didn't think so.