Terminally Ill: Put This Film Out of Its Misery

Rating: 3/10 (5 March 2006)

This film was a roller coaster ride for me. Initially, I was told be practically everyone this film stunk. One person said it was "artistic" (and I now disagree). The film started off slow and tedious, focusing on the main character's language barrier. By halfway, I admit I was in love with this film. I was eager to see what would happen next -- the ways the character gets food and money are very interesting. But the honeymoon was short and by the end, I wished this film a spot in eternal damnation.
The story, if you don't know, is of a man who uses his citizenship in midair because his country plunges into civil war. Not being able to go home, and not able to enter America on a now-bogus passport, he ends up trapped and living in the JFK Airport.
The film stars Tom Hanks (who is given way more credit than he deserves) and Catherine Zeta-Jones. Also, there is an Oompah Loompah that juggles and spins plates. Sadly, this guy is the most interesting character in the film.
My minor beef is the "product placement" that runs rampant in this film. Burger King, Borders, and a dozen other stores must have poured millions of dollars into this movie. My major beef is the "far-fetched" complaint. At first, it starts out believable. But soon, the airport security chief becomes a monster and a caricature of evil. Hanks builds things -- walls and fountains -- in the airport without security caring, and rips chairs out of the ground. He befriends people and exchanges favors, falls in love with a gorgeous flight attendant (who annoyingly brings up obscure Napoleon facts for no reason at all the wrong times) and in some scenes has what looks like a thousand employees working as his entourage. I don't happen to believe this.
A point for Steven Spielberg. While he usually pumps out mediocre crap, this film is different. It's still mediocre crap. But it's mediocre crap that doesn't rely on aliens, Jews or little boys to sell the story. Thanks Steven, I appreciate the fact Tom Hanks didn't have to fight off aliens in the terminal to save a Jewish boy. (Although in fairness all directors have their themes.) Is this film recommended? Of course not. If you like Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg, that's your first mistake. Don't make renting this movie your second mistake.