Tries hard and falls short

Rating: Null/10 (11 July 2004)

I love quirky. I love recklessly absurd. With Hollywood becoming just another megamillion dollar McIndustry that insists on playing things obscenely safe, I am especially happy to see anything new and inventive come out of there. So, it's a bit sad when this one tries and fails to do something rather grandiose and different.
Steven Spielberg is a master director. He may not always be my cup of tea, but he's a pillar and definer of the craft. Whatever other faults might be there, his work will be consistently high-quality - at least, that's what I would have said before this film. Almost all of it is up to his high standard - The cinematography and style of the film, the individual performances, the imagination put into the plot are all wonderful. There are two major flaws, though, that make the whole thing a rather jarring experience.
First, the script is poor. There are holes big enough to taxi a plane through. There are moments where all sense of characterization is put on hold, so that an individual can say something "witty", or "funny", or soundbite-like for the commercials... if the commercials ever show any of the dialogue. It's much easier to forgive the absurd moments that follow from the absurd premise - where they risk big and it doesn't necessarily pay off big - than it is to forgive the other kind of flaws in the writing: it's just plain mediocre, amongst occasional flashes of above-average. Adorning this script with Janusz Kaminski's photography is like using Michelangelo to illustrate a Chia Pet commercial. "Subpar" standing next to "sublime" is just sad.
The second flaw is that, while Hanks does a great job and Zeta-Jones does a good one, they appear to be acting in different movies. His is a meaty, moody, compassionate portrait. Hers is a perky, light, appealing one. He's Robert Deniro, she's Doris Day. Instead of melding the two different characters in some fashion, Spielberg seems happy to let them skate by one another, acting in wildly different styles. While I enjoyed both performances (Zeta-Jones making do with the slim pickins her character gets), I couldn't enjoy them together. Stanley Tucci also has a significant role - his character, though, suffers from the writing more than the rest, and he is relegated to what is supposed to be a funny villain, but is instead just a confusing, angry man.
Considering what's out there, this one's not a bad way to spend a couple of hours - especially if your only other option is Garfield. But, don't set your hopes too high.