Possibly the least entertained and gripped I have ever been by any film

Rating: 2/10 (13 March 2011)

After the generally fantastic media and critical reception of this film along with the ridiculous number of award nominations it received (seemingly 1 nomination for every dollar the film cost to make) I was frankly stunned and appalled at how mind-numbingly dull this film is. The script alone would make far less interesting reading than a phone book, or indeed a book filled with random numbers and letters. The cinematography was relentlessly uninspired, the score cheap and cheerful. To my ears as well the mixing seemed to be off, the dialog sometimes too fast and quiet, drowned out by the ambient noise (particularly the first scene).
Upon doing some research it seems that large swathes of the film are wildly inaccurate, which in itself is not a bad sign for a film. After all 'based on true events' is a slogan that often precedes a moderately entertaining picture, albeit one that recognizes that the true events aren't quite up to standard and need spicing up with lots of guns, explosions and cleavage. In The Social Network there is none of this; the spicing up entails the twisting of the story to make Zuckerberg look as much like some Aspergers suffering Nazi Savant as is possible, and a pure fantasy representation of the context of the story (namely life for an Undergraduate at Harvard University) through uninspired 'American Pie' standard stereotypes.
In short the remake of this film cannot come quickly enough, and next time around they should follow in the tradition of a long line of films which proclaim themselves to be based on "fact" (sort of... probably... possibly... maybe a little bit...). This time perhaps if / when the servers crash this could lead to a nuclear meltdown in the submarine's reactor (did I mention it should be set upon a submarine) where several of the crew die heroically attempting to affect repairs, then Zuckerberg and Saverin could land on the shores of South America and go on a motorcycle road trip of personal and political discovery seducing some South American super-models on the way... Then on his way to a meeting to secure investment Saverin could get his hand caught in the closing doors of the lift, and having faced 10 minutes of the excruciating aural torture that is lift music, been forced to sever his own hand through repeatedly stabbing himself in the wrist with a sharp pencil. Meanwhile Zuckerberg could be possessed by an evil spirit and repeatedly stab himself in the crotch until a priest with a tendency to see suicide as the only way to solve the problem in hand can show up and save the day. Finally Zuckerberg and Saverin waltz out of the front door of their London club with a bank account numbering in the billions and it all looks rosy, until Zuckerberg is shot by his girlfriend's love-sick ex and Saverin suddenly discovers that some African Dictator has severed all his limbs and sewn them on back to front, promptly dropping dead.
In short what I am saying is... this film is rubbish, it is about as deserving of any Award, other than "sleep-aid of the year" as I am deserving of the presidency. The disappointing thing is, this isn't even one of those bad films, that is so bad it becomes entertaining (although not for the reasons envisaged by the producers). This is a terrible work of fiction, professing to be truth, with average acting, a weak score and a script that is less inspired than a pile of sand. If you have not seen this then don't bother, only watch this in 30 years time when the film industry has collapsed due to file sharing and you are absolutely sick of watching Inception over and over again.