David Mamet's Animal House

Rating: 3/10 (23 January 2011)

The Social Network is a boring movie about annoying people who'd impress with intellect but not with intelligence and it is set in a land where everything is brown.
Why?
Well because it is. That's cool...right?
In real life, Facebook is boring. It is the social pornography millions are addicted to where everybody posts pictures of all the parties they go to and beefcake or women they meet, but it's not a scene you can actually hook up on for real -- so strange. It is something I'll never understand. IMDb.com is cool. Who doesn't want to rate movies? But Facebook? Grow fake crops? Add friends? But no beer? Lame.
The Social Network is a dry, talky and lifeless odyssey about why we should care. Well, not really. A Lifetime TV movie in all but name, The Social Network chronicles the rise of the Facebook phenomenon and eccentricity of Mark Zuckerbeg, but it doesn't succeed in making the topic interesting. This is Real Genius but minus any actual dramatic investment or humor. David FIncher uses a deft deadpan touch and Trent Reznor funk to jazz it up, but the problem is, this is a movie about people making a website.
"I INVENTED FACEBOOK!" "NO WAY MAN, I INVENTED FACEBOOK!"
Yeah they do that for two hours. Oh the humanity. Puleeeez.
Just as a story of becoming a millionaire is no longer an interesting topic, being wowed by how many millions of hits facebook gets is weaksauce. How is this interesting? The Social Network is simply not grand or impressive enough for me to be wowed by a bunch of hoodie geeks fighting over vaporware. But at least it does echo the millions of dorks (yeah that means all of you FB junkies) fighting over who is being friended or defriended in cyberspace by people they hardly, if ever talk to. It's true. The lower the stakes, the harder they fight.
Even if that is the whole point, at the end of the day, it's still boring. There is only so much you can do to dress up a turd.