"SpiderPig" does not a great movie make

Rating: 2/10 (5 August 2007)

"The Simpsons Movie" is remarkable only in that it manages to encapsulate in 90 painful minutes EVERYTHING that has been wrong with the show for the last ten years: ridiculous plot lines that are abandoned without resolution; a superhuman, idiot Homer who has no brain whatsoever and cannot be killed no matter what physical harm is inflicted on him (apparently the only person in the Simpsons universe with such an ability); jokes that lack subtlety; pointless cameo appearances; and an overall show of disdain towards its audience.
The Simpsons should really have ended a decade ago when they ran out of ideas. Since then, every plot line on the show has followed the exact same themes with more and more absurd actions thrown in to reach the same conclusion. Every single paper-thin plot line in The Simpsons Movie is one that has been done before in the series, and better: Homer gets redemption for his stupidity and saves his marriage with Marge. Lisa spearheads an environmental movement with unexpected consequences. The town of Springfield is threatened (and nearly destroyed) by an outside force. Bart shows his rebel side while secretly pining for proper guidance. The Simpson family goes on another CRAAAZY trip to an exotic location. Homer adopts a silly animal. Maggie says yet ANOTHER "first" word.
Spare me it all.
It took eleven screenwriters to make this dreck. Eleven!!! And this is the best they could come up with?! It doesn't advance the show at all, it only keeps it at the same downward pace it's been at for at least ten years. The only people who will truthfully enjoy this movie (without simply fooling themselves) are children who are too young to remember the "glory years" of The Simpsons. They're the only ones who will be accustomed to the low-quality version of the show we've been peddled for so long. As I write this review the film is somehow in the Top 250 on IMDb. If there's any justice in this world, The Simpsons Movie will drop to its proper location - the void of the Forgettable - as soon as possible.