What ? How ? and Why ?!

Rating: 6/10 (8 February 2010)

WHAT?
While the viewing, I wrote some lines that could develop a review later, but I was in confusion what to entitle it, so read some of the nominees: (Not The Simpsons Movie; It's The Average Simpsons Episode!), (When 20 Minutes of Comedy Drag for 87!), (Disappointing!), (Not The Movie We Wanted!), or (Real Boring Episode.. But where is the movie?!!). However, mainly, I was in great confusion about the movie itself, asking: What was that anyway?!
HOW?
I'm a fan of the original TV show. And if you're one, you have to be angry all the way. The Simpsons is a wacky ride, and important part of its secret remains in its sophisticated details whether in the drawings or the gags, the constant satirical spirit towards EVERYONE and EVERYTHING, and playing all of that in fast pace. Accordingly, this movie must be hanged, or at least not to be called The Simpsons. And it excruciates me even more when I see at the closing credits how this movie was written by a little army of scriptwriters, leaded by the show's creator, and some of its writing's stars, with consultants as well!
The writing was a catastrophe. If we come out of one episode with a huge amount of fun, then with a movie, a cinematic one, we must have more than that, read: 10 doubles the fun. But not this time. Because there are no swift gags, or parodied pop culture. I thought that I was watching a "live" Disney family movie from the 1960s, but with sneering at the politicians. I don't know why they didn't use this incredible bunch of characters to produce comedy during, for instance, the city was under siege?? (For me, I adore Mr. Burns, he's my favorite, however all what he had was a scene?!!). The thing was that it didn't low the bar only, it gave us bad and dirty jokes too: The red Indian lady's breasts, Bart is unclothed, Bart is drinking, and the city's ignorant doctor is brutally murdered at last?? Look at a moment like when Melhouse knows about the bomb; his response was wearing a garbage basket! Is any of that funny? Not Simpsons funny, but just funny?? The answer is NO. It seems like stuff written by Ralph Wiggum!!
And when it comes to the drama, don't get me starting; the storyline of Lisa and her boyfriend was totally aimless and humorless. Bart and Ned's was only interesting at the end. Some events were reused from the show; like Lisa got a boyfriend, spots of Homer's pet on the roof of the Simpsons' living room, Homer knows something about himself through primitive magic after acrid drink, Homer jumps over the canyon. Some moments were provocative. I mean what was the need to show Bart drinking Ned's cocoa, then cutting to dirty water that Marge wipes on the floor! Or seeing Burns, while the closing credits, talking about suicide (??) that was vague and useless. Basically, these closing credits weren't as half creative as some of the show's. Let alone the last shot which was a real killer; Homer is fixing the roof badly, so what's dazzling about that? Rather what's new?? I'm sure that utterly blank last shot is a reason why this movie will be hated by a lot of people. It's the weakest end that a movie can get!
And where are the cameos??? I remember just Tom Hanks? Well, sometimes there were more than 4 high guest stars in one episode, now with a *Hollywood movie* all what we got was Tom Hanks??!! Tom is fine yes, but where is the rest of Hollywood for God's sake? Busy doing cameos for the show??!!
The cinema's medium is different than the TV's. That truth is painful when it had been carried out here. Simply the cadres got no sophisticated details, and relayed much on the close-ups. Believe it or not, for the shows' addicts, that was one true reason for feeling the bore harshly. It made the TV show more cinematic I can tell you that!
It comes to its senses in only the last 10 minutes as a comedy, visual riot, and drama. But that, apparently, was not enough. It even will make you ask yourself burningly: why the previous 77 Minutes weren't as hot as that??!! Aside from that sequence, I can't find something that good to hold to. Maybe the wildness of the main idea. Couple of lines and scenes (and I mean just couple!). Plus the extremely romantic finale between Homer and Marge. Though as a whole, none of that did "leave us laughin'"!
WHY???
It can join the list with the mystery of killing JFK, the accidents of Bermuda triangle, and the fact that there are actual fans of "The Bold and The Beautiful"! Some may refer it to the self-fancy, excessive confidence, blah blah blah. Others may refer it to the fact that the team of writing was working since 18 years already, so they consumed the good ideas early. Well, I don't think this or that. I think that this movie didn't have the appropriate time all along. The show was running during the making of this movie, so they were working in the movie, and in the episodes together. Working in 2 things together always leads to: 2 bad things, or one bad thing. Anyway, I know that this movie wasn't that good, to a degree that makes you think whether it's a work of guys copycatting The Simpsons, or it's the show's makers doing their job insufficiently!
Wanna the truth? The show is better; it's dynamic. This one is sluggish.