Prepare for Disappointment Unless You Like Seasons 10-18

Rating: 1/10 (28 July 2007)

For those of you who have hated the last several seasons of The Simpsons but were hoping that this film would be great due to the pedigree of talent that is found in its credits, I am sad to inform you that this film will disappoint you. To be fair, compared to the rubbish they have fed us in the last 8 seasons, the film was somewhat watchable. A few jokes in the beginning are very funny, and overall the opening to the film is solid. However, at the point of Homer meeting his beloved Spider Pig (which everyone in the theater loved except for me), the film transitions into a poorly crafted, overwrought melodrama that is mildly painful to sit through. You get a mixture of pathetic melancholy material and lackluster gags - it is awful, and I don't mean awful entertaining. The biggest problem with the film is that its creators forgot that The Simpsons is a comedy, not an animated soap opera.
I've been watching the show since I was born. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire was aired on December 17, 1989, when I was nearly a month old. So this show basically grew up with me, and I consider Seasons 3-9 of the Simpsons to be the greatest works the television industry has ever created. Even though I can't stand watching the new episodes, I was still somewhat excited and mildly optimistic about this film. It could have been worse, but that's faint praise. If you're a long-time fan disillusioned with the show as I am, I recommend just watching the first 30 minutes of the movie and then hopping to something better. You won't be missing much. As Moleman said, "you cost me (86) minutes of my life and I want them back!"