Heeeeere's Rubbish!

Rating: 1/10 (14 November 2004)

Having just seen the doco about Kubrick, and then taken the plunge with Eyes Wide Shut after being warned against it by everyone I know, I expected wonderful things from this film. After all, Jack Nicholson, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest! This was gonna be amazing!
JNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! WRONG!
Quite simply one of the worst films I've ever seen. The editing alone was a travesty. What amateur crud! Could this be the same mind that gave us Easy Rider, Dr Strangelove and 2001? Clearly our Stanley had a rather nasty turn prior to making this film, that or it ran way over budget and the studio employed some lacky fresh out of 'make your own home movies in 24 hours'to whack it together overnight. Then there's the music, the Bartok was perfect, but all the original synth stuff was absolute rubbish. I really think I must be missing something critical here - or was he trying to make a statement about how pathetic horror movies are, cos that rang out loud and clear.
Well, look, if you want to see a plot that is full of holes, if you want to see the helicopter shadow in the overhead shots at the start and catch some awful, sad and pathetic acting from Shelly Duval and then be left wondering why Stan even bothered beating this dead horse of a C movie - sure, rush down to the movie store, I emplore you. Do it. Do it now.
Seriously, I love Stan when he puts his heart into it, but I teach editing and I have people who come in with no knowledge cutting up better narratives in their first day just by letting them play with MS Movie Maker. That just makes me sad.
I should also temper this with some context. 1. I can prove by simple logical argument that Stephen King is a hack, chiefly because he writes like a three year old. 2. I love being challenged and having something to think about. 3. Why oh why can't our Clairvoyant friend or his 'Shine' brother foresee his untimely and really badly played out, plot-killing, anitclimatic death?