Remake of splash-Not Directors normal standards but artistic ending to week plot.

Rating: 1/10 (14 December 2018)

This films is best comedy of the year.
This film explains why women always cook perfect boiled eggs and take baths at same time multi-tasking at its best.
The deaf word for egg's ready only uses only two fingers. They say deaf people other senses are enhanced. This film explains why the deaf girl at work always gets bubble bath and egg timers. "Enough jokes"
Well I tried to explain the story below:
A deaf and mute girl works as cleaner at top secret secure unit has a black friend and facility falls in love with aqua man, oh I forgot she has gay best friend!
Where do I start the 1950's at the heart of what America loves and still wishes it was or that's what I thought it was, but the year of this film was set in was 1962. The cars showroom a joy to watch and was great scene and Jell-O cafe seemed like it was the American dream in a movie, but don't full a sleep just yet,theirs a monster in town. The monster turns out to be her boss who beats up this creature at top secret facility and shocks with cattle prod on daily basis. Well it's not all is as it seems, the cleaner can get in and out of this secure room without being noticed and is not scared of this blue aqua man, even though she has to clean up after her bosses fingers were bitten off by this creature. Not strange!
Well if that not weird enough there is also a Russian spy on the inside working there and he is totally nutty, he not only notice the cleaner breaking in to facility, but as spy see her communicating with this creature and does not report her, but latter help her free this creature.
Well it seems like Russian and American's both think this creature would make the perfect astronaut even though it's basically a fish-man and fish are no good in space, but they have different idea's Russians want to just kill it and American's want to cut it open to see what makes it tick. Well the deaf woman now has to free this creature so with the help of her gay best friend and Scooby Doo van she escapes with the creature from secure facility. "totally plausible"
Gay best friend story he's a great commercial artist but seems to be disrespected by his former employer who just got rid of him even though he has lots of talent. The guy only release from this rejection is the hope this guy in a Jell-O cafe could be his lover. He buys more jelly cake that he can eat so tries to feed it to the deaf woman and probably the cats. Not strange
When he tells Jell-O man he has feelings for him in creepy way , he is rejected even though I think Jell-O man was also supposed to be gay but married to woman, what a shocker it is 1962 after all.
Well back to story of escape the creepy guy best friend of deaf woman makes a fake pass but it's so bad, even his cat would not have been fooled. The guy shows his pass to guard but he is no fool he noticed its fake. End of movie.
No such luck the Russian spy uses a poison needle to aid their escape removing the one guard in secure unit. Meanwhile whilst this happened the deaf girl hides the creature in laundry basket and makes her way out only for her black friend to try stopping her. Not strange
Well they make it out to van weird guys van which is not seen entering the secure unit but is seen exiting it and her boss shoots at it.
They escape to what I thought would be a release site not her flat and her boss seems to have had his memory wiped so does not follow up or trace van. The boss then asks all employee's if they know where this creature is? Meanwhile three days pass and she seems to still go to work and facility runs as normal after losing this creature even though they only cleaned this creatures room. Not strange
The deaf girl keeps creature in her flat and floods it making her bathroom in to a fish-tank and within the three days, replacing her egg cooked sign language for full on weird sex with Aqua man. Her gay friend has some strange contact as well with it while shes at work, seems creature might be bi and makes his hair grow but not in good way.
Not strange
She also floods her local cinema, which is below her flat and just does not keeps a low profile, the creature bites the face of her or her friends cat, not sure why.
Well after three days just about keeping this creature alive with salt from Russian spy at work. She can't stand heat so goes to dock to release creature with gay guy. The Russians arrive, but boss man kills them then see creature and lady and shoots both of them. The creature then healed himself and deaf girl and the swim in arty posse the film then ends and she has gills as well.
it also wins Best picture Academy Award.
The Best Picture Nominees

(2018) Lady Bird The Shape of Water
Guillermo del Toro, J. Miles Dale
Darkest HourTim Bevan, Anthony McCarten, ...
Dunkirk Christopher Nolan, Emma Thomas
Phantom Thread Paul Thomas Anderson, Megan Ellison, ...
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Martin McDonagh, Graham Broadbent, ...
Get Out Jordan Peele, Jason Blum, ...
The Post Steven Spielberg, Amy Pascal, ...
Call Me by Your Name Luca Guadagnino, Peter Spears, ...
Lady Bird Scott Rudin, Eli Bush, .
For me The Post or Phanthom Theads made me think, where as shape of water and get out were just ticking boxes and tedious. The Getout is a cheep remake of hostel with a touch of reversed racism with a line white people always wan't to be black and shape of water splash remake that doesn't know when to end.