The Shape Of Fish Guy's Schvantz

Rating: 2/10 (16 December 2017)

Really Del Toro? This constitute a love story?
This movie is designed for shut-in crazy cat ladies who dream of banging inanimate objects...for life. Then the Pinocchio comes to life.
Though beautiful in its art design, why does everything in this world look like a terrible sound stage? It's not magical, mystical or captivating. It's gross and awkward and mean. People brought their children to this movie. And saw 1) middle aged chesticles 2) Michael Shannon humping his wife brutally. It was so awkward and not the least bit "romantic." Can anyone explain how a top secret facility with a Fishman can still allow a woman to have lunch and play Glenn Miller records in the company of?! What nonsense is this? Oh right, it's a fable. Or something. Wait, how does Michael Shannon tell biblical stories in a fable. Wow is that meta.
This movie is just awkward. You stumble out of the theater just flabbergasted at what passes as romance these days. This mute chick will do it with anything.