Wow

Rating: 1/10 (18 June 2018)

Free Willy gets a sexy makeover as pretentious arthouse snobs decide they want a piece of the box office pie too. The result is a whimsical fantasy dumbed down so far that it would have been a great Saturday afternoon kids' movie if not for the nudity, masturbation, and merciless torture. The most troubling aspect of this derivative, infantile dross is that the writers thought the way to make laughably cliched characters multi-dimensional was just to make them racist, mute, or amphibious.
With Hollywood now satisfied that they've finally taught us that women are as smart as men and that gay people are capable of feeling love too, their latest sage lesson for us all is that it's okay to pork your pets. Watch out for next year's Oscars offerings Hot Babe, Fifty Shades of War Horse, and My Friend With Benefits Flicka.