Wanted to like it, but just can't

Rating: 3/10 (14 January 2018)

The Shape of Water (like Beauty and the Beast) is proof that the world thinks that women are so starved for love and affection that they will fall in love with ANYTHING. (Scales or fur? No problem!) And I'm not just going to fall in love, actually going to have sex with it. (Dare we judge lonely farmers?) By contrast, men have Splash... (Yeah, she's got a tail but she looks like a super model and has legs when she's out of the water, so I'd do her!)
Putting aside the bestiality, the fact that you can make a 7' pool in a bathroom just by closing the door, the fact that a creature from the Amazon RIVER would need salt water, the completely out of nowhere dance number, the unnecessary female nudity, the cat owner who doesn't blink an eye when his cat gets eaten, or the fact that they have to wait for it to rain to release him into the canals as opposed to just driving him directly to the ocean, The Shape of Water is an EPIC FAIL for one major reason. You have a Mexican director casting a Brit to play the one major Latina starring role in 2017. No wonder less than 5% of roles are played by Latinos when we don't hire our own.