Sappy and pointless

Rating: 6/10 (24 January 2018)

Is enduring love impossible without having first learned how to yearn, pine, or miss? Is love more meaningful if it overcomes social pressure, personal villainy, and inter-species barriers?
Guillermo del Toro, with his partially steampunk, partially musical, partially fantasy adventure strongly suggests the answer is "yes," to all of those questions.
Can a movie be partially many moods, many feels, many styles, and many genres, yet add up to a satisfying whole? I, with this review, strongly suggest the answer is "no" to that specific question.
For such a character-driven story, we surprisingly learn very little about any of the characters, except those slices of bits casually tossed around in order to add depth, none of which rise to the giving-a-damn level. One character used to have a drinking problem, another has a verbally combative marriage, and the ultimate reveal could possibly be when still yet another character shows a predilection for total silence while copulating. Oh, almost forgot: there's even one more character who absolutely loves soft-boiled eggs. Fascinating! Oopsie! Spoiler alert!
Water, water, everywhere, and all the drops do sink. Even the dancing lacks fluidity, and the stunning visuals lose their patina when that dark thought creeps into your head: this movie might be a lot more entertaining if everyone would die tragically and alone.
Of course, we cannot win Oscars thinking like that.