WORST MOVIE OF MY LIFETIME

Rating: 1/10 (16 March 2018)

I have seen tons of crap movies, believe me, but none of them is bad enough to make me register an account on IMDB just to write a review. But after watching this, I have the urge to express my utterly disgust. Thank you, Del Toro, for that, by the way.
The movie is simply stupid. The storyline is deeply flawed. The only thing the movie challenges the audience is our intelligence. Well i do not expect a Hitchcock movie, we can accept flaws here and there as long as it does not affect the story and fits the characters. But the movie is self contradicting and the characters behaviors are so bizarre it is just so intelligently insulting. So a cleaning lady can steal the "most valuable asset" from the "top secret facility" which is only guarded by on single soldier and does not even have a moving vehicle to chase after the invaders. They can just park the van downstairs for three or four days and no one thinks about looking for the van. Actually there is no one looking into this at all. From beginning to the end there is only the bad villain alone who is not doing anything but stay in the office and interrogate the cleaning ladies, only after 48 hours he thought about talk to the doctor who refused to kill the monster in the first place. Is this US military? It's easier than rob a bank. If i were Elisa, I'll go rob the Fed. But Elisa is not so smart, she made up the entire plan without thinking about how to unchain the fish dude without a key. And please what is the point of keeping the weaking, dying fish dude in ur home? Waiting to be discovered? Come on, Baltimore is by the sea!! There is literally a dock in the city center. Okay so you want to have sex with him, can you please do it at the back of the van on the way to Mexico? And the police ( ya, still no sign of military) showed up when the government officer died and they watched the suspect left? On and on i could go but i think you get the point.
Let's look at the characters, as a "romantic love" story, you did not explain to me how the lady fell in love with the fish dude? Are you telling me because she's a minority, and "he" is a minority, so the director thinks it needs no further explanation for her to fell in love with the fish? How did she overcome the fear of his monster looking? How did he understand her? Or it's just her sick, petty love makes her thinks he understands and loves her? There are many ways to show and build up the emotions but the director shows none at all! And is it just me that find it super weird that the lady did not show any form of gratitude, not even an attitude, to her friend at all? It's just so inhuman and fake.
The dialogue is also a disaster.Choppy and facetious, they tried to say something sounds smart and deep but actually just irrelevant and award. Like the "universe" thing coming from the general, what is that about? And there are so many random scenes that just make me question the ability of the director. What's the point of showing the doc realising the russian agents are plotting against him when in the end he stills shows up like there's nothing wrong??? Who cares about the villian buying a car from a random salesman(who seems to be the only smart man in the show) and not like talking when banging his wife? What is the point of all this?
As for the cinematography, esthetics effect, etc, there is nothing to talk about. I don't find it "touching" or "romantic" in any single way. The costume on the fish dude looks like just some random monster from a superhero movie, not even the carefully designed big boss, but those minions who are ready to be smashed by the HULK. I feel deeply disappointed that such a film could win the academy. So it has the elements of minority, LGBT, african americans, protecting the environment, evil russians and selfish government, so it must win??!
As a conclusion, i feel insulted by the director and the academy. Its winning lowered the average IQ of the entier Los Angeles.