Meh-ow

Rating: 5/10 (19 July 2016)

The Secret Life of Pets is a modern kid's film. That means it will be super energetic, desperately cute, and often funny. That also means, unless it's preempted by a bouncing desk lamp, it will most likely be nothing more than white noise to pass the time in an air conditioned building full of screaming children and sleepless parents. Illumination Studios (creators of the god-awful Minions) may be the main culprit of this type of derivative drivel, and based on the presentation of their products through cultural ubiquity and Pixar-like universe meta-referencing, they are undeservedly proud of what they've done. Their latest, Pets follows NYC house-pet Max (voiced very well by Louis CK) who, joined by a mismatched group of animals, goes on a series of misadventures to try and make it back to his owner. In many senses, it's better than what Illumination has done so far. Pets' observational humor uses the reality of pet / human behavior to really nice effect. Unfortunately, a large part of the story is spent on less down-to-earth story arcs in order to fill a half-wit plot, bogging down in ill-timed sentimentality, frustratingly blatant 3D and formulaic morals. That mechanical storytelling manipulation is its most glaring problem. Otherwise, there is some really great stuff here. The montages in the individual pet's homes are irrepressibly smile-inducing, the score is a bouncy jazz-based good-time, and there's a hot dog segment set to a Grease song that I totally loved. However, if you've seen Zootopia, Toy Story, Bolt, Up, Finding Nemo or even Dory, then there is nothing new here for you but a Disney-Pixar-knockoff without the sophistication.