A movie confused into being a commercial for the Minions

Rating: 5/10 (11 July 2016)

Remember Flushed Away, the mildly amusing tale of a rat who initially hated his new roommate then, when unfortunate circumstances put him out of his comfort zone, he found it in his heart to no longer hate the roommate? If you do, don't even bother watching this film: it's the same content, just with more product placement and film references.
The characters were laughable, but probably not in the way the script writers intended them to be. At the beginning, both Max and Duke seem genuinely malicious. They snarl at and threaten each other, asserting authority with brute force and abusing their ignorant owner's power. And Gidget? I couldn't even tell if she was a dog or just one of those fluffy key chains you can buy for a pound.
Actually, the earlier mention of script writers creating this mess is completely ridiculous. I wouldn't be surprised if this plot was the result of a lunchtime chat, or a drunk late-night gathering. The plot itself, along with drawing parallels to dozens of other movies, confuses the story of loyal dogs trying to return home with the advert break between TV shows. You thought you couldn't get enough of those damn minions? Well, they're back, where you least expect them. Yes, even in a completely unrelated film, you will be force- fed those yellow things, whether or not you liked them. Thank you, Illumination. Please, please keep milking the minions. It's the best you're going to achieve, if the movies you create in the future are as good as this one. And no, Illumination doesn't stop there, it will also shove towards you the embarrassingly obvious GoPro and YouTube logos as well.
Overall, The Secret Life of Pets was underwhelming, predictable, and, if anything else, pitiable, with its one redeeming factor being the quality of water surface animation, so I give it the generous rating of 5/10.