What did I miss?

Rating: 2/10 (27 March 2006)

My wife and I saw the movie together. We paid attention to what was going on. We _really_ paid attention. At times I felt a little twinge, but nothing like I did when I saw Linda Blair tearing into those priests and spewing pea-soup and walking down the stairs like a spider with blood gushing out of her mouth. The movie just flickered on and on and I thought it was never going to end. My wife said, "What's going on." I replied, "I don't have the foggiest." We didn't shiver. We didn't shake. No one in the audience made a sound. A few got up and left. But I paid my money and I almost never walk out during a movie. I mean, like, what is the matter with me? Am I the only person on the planet that didn't enjoy this flick? Did I miss something? My eyes were open the whole time. I didn't fall asleep, but wanted to. Compared to this, I thought _Blair Witch_ deserved ten stars. I swear I was totally sober through the whole movie. No drinking or drugs. I just didn't get it. I'm really, really, sorry, guys.