Why is The Revenant a darned lousy movie? Let me count the ways

Rating: 1/10 (3 March 2016)

(As e-mailed to my few relatives, to impart the fair warning not to see this silly and execrable film.)
Just saw Revenant movie with open caption last night.
I bought a ticket to Kung Fu Panda 3 that plays at the same time as the movie. I may see it in hypocrisy to protest the idiot ["pendejo"] director's soap box politics. But at least I refused to pay FOR the movie directly, so they don't get my money, so there's that.
As for my opinion:
Terribly overrated. It's ridiculous, pretentious, inanely contrived (esp. protagonist's dead Indian wife), frequently dull and thematically & aesthetically anemic with one-dimensional characters especially the villains who hammed it up.
There is absolutely no point in this movie.
It is offensively politically didactic to the audience on race relations between Amerindians and whites, as if patronizing the audience by the director's self- important mockery, which felt overbearing with his overkill directorial style, like "Look at this, look at me, isn't this pretty, great job (cinematographer buddy) Chivo!"
Some shots are irritating with "in your face" close-ups. There is absolutely no tension throughout the movie because of over-directing that is so palpably annoying it kills the enjoyment with occasional dull pacing in paper-thin plot structure.
There are unintentionally laughable scenes that require suspension of disbelief like CGI animals (not just the mauling bear) and swimming in the icy-cold river wearing bear fur coat with no adverse hypothermia effect (frozen to popsicle afterwards in twenty degree temperature). It's like a nature action movie with lack of logic as seen from Hollywood perspective.
As for Leonardo's acting, it's really nothing to write home about. It's all method acting aided by the cold and chilly air that affect the actor to nearly and almost overact. I really didn't think his acting Oscar is due for this movie. It's a pity award.
The movie drags way too long. An hour could be cut and nothing would be lost. Pretentious filmmakers think length equals depth, but it's the opposite. They are very shallow in preconception, heavy on sensationalism (some scenes obviously pretentious as if the director is a show-off) and light on logic and reasonable pacing.
Inarritu is a total hack who pretends to be an intellectual when he is not, instead he mugs as if he's on par with Kubrick. Cinematography is the only thing that's good about the movie, but still an awfully pretentious movie with no point to comprehend.
I checked my watch more than a few times during the movie. It's how restless I felt. Gore doesn't phase me, but Inarritu's directing is the worst and most irritating factor about this movie.
George Miller is very calm, controlled and serenely self-assured in commanding direction in contrast to Inarritu's desperately provocative and bore-you-to-death pretentious approach to filmmaking.
That Miller lost best direction Oscar to this sentimental and lecturing hack Inarritu says a lot about the idiocy of Hollywood.
Don't bother because it's so long and indulgent with pretension that Leo's subtly Oscar-bait overreaching method acting cannot compensate for how lousy this movie is, in terms of demerits.
What a piece of crap.
* out of four