The perils of Pauline with bears

Rating: Null/10 (31 January 2016)

With a token appeal to our interest in the main character this film invites us to share with him a series of catastrophes which would have killed not only lesser men but any man who lives in any kind of believable world. Mauled by a bear, choked by the 'villain', nearly drowned in a rushing torrent, left to crawl across miles of frozen wasteland, plunged over a precipice, our hero survives it all. He eats raw fish caught with a method defying all logic, he gnaws on and is sickened by raw buffalo, ignoring the opportunity to teach the art of barbecue to a random native on the fire burning invitingly behind them, he grimaces, he growls, her bleeds - he survives despite the odds, despite the elements, despite the siren call of credibility. There is nothing wrong with the performances. Di Caprio emotes his suffering by recreating a hangover in scene after scene, Tom Hardy does his impressive best with a cliché from any number of westerns, Will Poulter does well with his ingénue role. The photography is exquisite. Overall, however, I kept expecting Mazi stormtroopers, the Alien or Freddie Krueger to pop out of a frozen bush and add to our hero's trials, such was the almost comic overloading of the dice cast against poor Leo. The Indian attack and the bear attack are well done - after that repair to the bear - sorry, the bar.