Boring and Pretentious...Banality and Mediocrity in abundance

Rating: 1/10 (9 January 2016)

I truly hoped to finally enjoy a decent outing at the movies. I haven't seen a decent flick at the cinema in over a year. 2015 was very painful for a fan of the silver screen with such duds as Black Mass, Crimson Peak and Sicario all previewed with that ol' Miramax feel, a brand of underground hits from the 1990's which featured great casts and crew. I also was duped into the Hollywood hype-train flicks like Ant Man, Jurassic World and The Martian... Lord knows I was finally going to get a decent flick here with Leo and Hardy, even though Inarritu's Birdman was pure garbage, IMO. Unfortunately, this ain't happening, not today. Without spoiling anything vital to the story. I will say that you will see an exact copy of the early scene in Saving Private Ryan at the beaches of Normandy, only this time it will feature cowboys (fur traders) vs Indians. You will see Leo saved from brutally cold weather in the belly of a Tauntaun like in The Empire Strikes Back, I'm sorry I meant Luke saved in the belly of a horse!? I will also say that you will see Tom Hardy do a completely outstanding job of emulating the Tom Berenger role in Platoon, however, in this flick he will be rolling around in the snow and the scar will be worn on his scalp, not on his face. Kudos to Hardy cause he really sounded like Sgt. Barnes. Hardy enjoying a smoke off a pipe really sealed the deal for me. I will also say that this script has the same revenge motif used several times before, primarily in Braveheart and Gladiator. The end result is a ton of wasted scenes featuring snowy mountains, snowy trees and snowy rivers, all of which seemed like they were stolen from, or at the very least, inspired by Godfrey Reggio. Needless to say, I could easily see Leo signing on to this Inarritu project after the Birdman hype because, Hey! if he could get Michael Keaton a best actor award... Bottom line, a bunch of pretentious garbage by Hollywood and their new favorite hack director.