A Puzzling Masterpiece

Rating: 7/10 (27 December 2015)

So, let me see if I got this. The film that's made Leo a star should have taught him that it's just impossible for a human to stay in the ice cold water for longer than a couple of minutes: because of the body temperature decrease, one's blood vessels contract so much, the heart is no longer able to push through the life juice. And that's just one thing... But nah, says Iñárritu. I'm gonna have DiCaprio body-raft down the freezing cold mountain river, drop down a waterfall, float some more and finally crawl ashore wearing a bear skin, which by that time should have weighed about a hundred pounds. And we know, what happens to a man enveloped in 100 lbs. of stuff in water. Those of us who have seen a single medieval knight movie know for sure: man sinks like a stone. Oh, well, says Iñárritu. That's what YOU think – and then shatters Leo's right leg. Shatters to a point when it hangs by the skin and tendon. At first Leo does take it hard – barely moves. A day (!) later he crawls, using a crutch and a tiny stick for a splint. Another couple of days pass and he is moving like a drunken hockey player, though able to avoid all kinds of unwanted encounters, gathering and hunting... Finally, perhaps, after no more than two weeks of healing, he is running, mounting a horse on a fly, spurs it frantically, in short, displays the kind of vigor rarely associated even with a perfectly healthy individual, let alone someone who's spent days under a snag in a forest But the film in itself is great. The kind of achievement which could (and should, given the amount of pure garbage on offer) cap the whole cinematographic year. What is sad though, is that my problem with 'the ballads of the strength of the human spirit' has not for the countless time been rectified. I still can't figure out how to feel about the blatant untruths the film makers utilize in order to make their characters' heroism truthful.