Out of tune!

Rating: 3/10 (19 November 2005)

"Le Violon rouge," which I just caught on IFC, is gorgeous, but as lame-brained as a Jerry Bruckheimer blockbuster. But hey, if we were following logic, the film makers wouldn't have an excuse to blow millions of other peoples' money!
Forget figuring out how it found its way to the monastery, I expected the teacher to take it after he learned it had been buried with his Mozart wanna-be (all that hard work he put into the kid for nothing). Instead, in a truly laughable montage, some gypsies rob the grave, fiddle with the violin, then sail to England, where it's given it to a Mick Jagger wanna-be in exchange for being allowed to stay on his lands.
Our "hero" next pops up on a ship with a destitute Chinese seafarer. By now, I didn't bother to wonder how a destitute Chinese seafarer wound up with this priceless object for fear what was left of my brain cells would explode! So do the Western music-hating Maoists toss the violin into a bonfire when they find it at the teacher's house? Heck no, they hold onto it for at least 30 years until they consign it to a Montreal auction house! Makes sense to me, too! That's when Mr. Bad Ass Himself, Samuel L. Jackson, decides it'll make a really neat present for his kid!
As if the film makers decided to see just how lame-brained they could get, what does the curator do when she realizes the violin up for bids isn't THE violin? Nothing! Here's hoping she and everyone else (especially Mr. Bad Ass Himself) can land jobs at Wal Mart after the winner realizes he got hosed big time!