An Offer I Could Have Refused

Rating: Null/10 (1 February 2010)

Trash.
When Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds bump into each other by accident--in the nude--I realized that this scene is an economy of scale, a miniature of The Proposal, a painfully unfunny and moronic collision of concept and cynicism. Bullock, Reynolds, and the entire auxiliary cast are so astonishingly bad, so dull and unpleasant, that the only entertainment that could possibly be derived was to see if my beloved wife and daughter would declare it good . . . and me bad.
I reviewed Practical Magic a few years ago and, if you go back to read it, you'll notice that I had some kind things to say about Sandra Bullock's pleasant believability on screen.
Where did it go? The woman I found breathtakingly normal ten years ago looks and acts as if she is just a skin shade shy of a George Romero undead-person; Bullock shambles zombie-like through the movie. The only thing missing in her frigid executive non-performance is her not throwing that stupid dog into the bay. I would have given anything to watch her grab Betty White to rip out her throat (not that I have anything against Betty White--it's just that THAT would have been original!).
Everything sucked in this movie, even the idea that Reynold's family couldn't be a normal working-stiff clan, but a dysfunctional way- upper middle class bunch of unappealing boobs.
But . . .
I did get two hours of uninterrupted quality time with the family. The snow was flying outside. The coffee was good. The Chihuahua hopped up to cuddle on my chest.
When I go home on my prep period from the high school I work at to help my wife load up trash to take to the transfer station, I can either grumble about how my clothes smell funny the rest of the day or I can say I got to spend some quality time with my sweetheart and best friend.
I guess that's why I called The Proposal garbage.