i would not say such things if i were you

Rating: Null/10 (2 January 1999)

If you have anything bad to say about The Princess Bride (which is inconceivable), don't do it while I'm in the room. This movie came out twelve years ago, and I know one person who doesn't have most of it memorized. If you don't believe me, walk into a crowded room and say "Mawiage," and listen to the rousing chorus of, "Mawiage is what bwings us togethaaaaah...today. That bwessed awwaaaaaingment. That dweam within a dweam...So cherish your woved ones, and wove, twue wove wiw fowwow you foweva..." For those of you who think Robin Wright's acting was less than stellar as Buttercup, take a closer look (and read the book). One of my favorite parts of the movie is when she tells prince off, beginning with poetic fury, "Westley and I are joined by the bonds of love,and you cannot track that, not with a thousand bloodhounds, and you cannot break it, not with a thousand swords, and when i say that you are a coward..." as the music swells in the background. Then it seems to deflate as she--clearly having used more than her daily portion of brainpower--ends with "that is only because you are the slimiest weakling ever to crawl the face of the earth." Not only is this the most timeless movie I've ever seen, but it is also the most well-cast. Who would think to cast the towering Mandy Patinkin as the petit and agile Inigo, or to cast Andre the Giant period? I can only urge those of you who haven't to read William Goldman's book. The dialogue isn't quite as sharp, but the book is all-together hilarious, and expands on the plotline and all of the characters, with detailed history of buttercup and westley, inigo and fezzik, and an unforgettable description of the zoo of death (which is only the pit of despair in the movie). If this isn't enough for you, it has a color map of guilder and florin!