Confusing, idiotic, and pointless.

Rating: 2/10 (13 April 2007)

Before I forget: Somebody said this was the best twisting movie since Fight Club. Honestly, must you make such a pointless comparison? Not only was Fight Club a hundred times better than this movie, the only thing it shares is the fact that people look like other people. Deal with it.
I thought it could be a good movie - but then, of course, I watched it.
This was a chance to make something great. It had good acting, famous actors, pretty cinematography and and a pretty neat premise about Tesla and his magic electricity/ duplication machine stuff. It failed, though, rather miserably.
Now, it would have been a good movie, had it been muted, all the death and violent scenes, cut out, and simply been a showcase of interesting shots and pretty colors. And, of course, Tesla' cloning machine. In fact, the premise of the movie was pretty stupid. Seriously, there was no reason to make them magicians at all. Anybody can kill people, it just provides more interesting deaths if they can drown people in tanks or have people shot with their own guns. Take a hint from Pan's Labyrinth. Just grab the other guy and stab them in the face outright.
It was confusing throughout. I eventually got it, but I had to pause the movie a few times. I'm not stupid, it was just so unexpectedly confusing I had to pause and think. Okay, so some guy called Angier drowns in a tank. The other guy, Bordon, goes to jail, and reads the dead guy's journal. The bits from the past switched between the dead guy reading the diary of the guy in jail, and the events leading up to him getting the diary. Both the past and present have a lot of unneeded jumping around all over the place, and in between all of that, the magicians end up hurting and killing a bunch of random people. They steal each others tricks, most notably the "Transporting Man trick". Eventually, Angier finishes reading Bordon's diary which ends with something like "I KNOW YOU HAVE THIS, I GAVE IT TO YOU ON PURPOSE. MWA!" As Bordon finishes reading Angier's diary, he gets a similar message. Finally, the movie confesses outright (although it hinted throughout) that Angier had created doubles that died every time, and as actually alive, (he most likely framed Bordon) and he steals Bordon's daughter for revenge and Bordon prepares to be hanged. Cutter refuses to let Bordon be hanged, but then doesn't care that Bordon (who had a double; one always posed as his agent. this is also how he did the transporting man trick.) gets the happy ending because he shot Angier, who made a ridiculous speech about how he never wanted Bordon's trick and just wanted to 'see the audiences' faces'. "OMG, they clap for me! Must kill more people!" After Bordon shot Angier, Cutter should have shot Bordon. Then they would have both gotten what they deserved. Except poor little girl would be all sad with no father. Cutter wouldn't want that.
Oh yes, and one of the Bordon's loved Emily, their wife, and the other loved Olivia. Emily got mad because of the "affair", if you could even call it that, and so she hung herself. Rather stupid if you ask me.
Speaking of the deaths, I thought the whole "Oh noes, Angier's wife is dead" thing to be idiotic. It started the whole stupid story. Throughout the whole movie, Bordon repeats "I don't know which knot I tied." Wow, I think you would, considering you specifically changed your frigging mind about what you were tying halfway through. I mean, seriously.
What's wrong with you people? Get over it! I mean, seriously, you can't be that crazy obsessed, since the movie didn't mention the origin of this insane obsession. Oops. Never mind. Bad move, Nolan.
The only reason this deserves a three is because of the actors, the cinematography, and the fact that it made me mad enough to slap everyone involved. Except David Bowie, because, in all honesty, the Tesla parts were all pretty cool in premise. They should have made the movie all about him. Three Cheers for "Tesla: The Movie".
Was I really the only one who thought Scarlett looked a bit like Keira Knightley?