God-awful tedium

Rating: 2/10 (11 November 2004)

There are so many things wrong with THE POLAR EXPRESS, it's hard to know where to begin. First, it barely has a plot, not surprising for a film based on a thin children's book perhaps (though see SHREK for an amazing counterexample), but this leaves the state-of-the-art CG motion capture technology to do the heavy lifting, never a good sign.
And what does that technology produce? A main character so lacking in appeal that it's hard to care what happens to him. A series of train-in-peril scenes as old as film itself. A North Pole of endless factory-style red brick buildings with piped-in generic Christmas music that is the polar opposite of enchanting. A sea of elves greeting Santa that creepily evokes TRIUMPH OF THE WILL. A chance for its star to voice multiple roles, which leads to Tom Hanks fatigue.
Support from the score includes some "original," forgotten-before-they-finish Christmas dirges. And to maintain the CG tradition, there is a pop-culture reference gratuitously squeezed in near the end of the film (not counting the director's earlier homage to himself and FORREST GUMP's feather).
There's probably nothing wrong with the technology that a good script couldn't cure, but without one, you're left watching a train wreck.