What a disappointment!

Rating: 1/10 (27 November 2004)

I should preface by saying that I'm a major sucker for anything Christmasy or full of magic - Miracle on 34th Street, most Disney feature cartoons, movie musicals, that sort of thing. So I expected this to be something I would really enjoy. Boy, was I wrong!
First off, the movie wandered, all but plot less. I had wondered how they'd make a full-length movie out of a book as short as The Polar Express. Now I know; they stre-t-c-h-ed out the train ride itself by coming up with event after event that stopped the train or put the protagonist in danger but didn't contribute to the overall story.
Secondly, there was a serious problem in the balance of sound. The sounds of the train and the music were extremely loud - one member of my group watched half the movie with her fingers in her ears - but the conversation was so quiet that we couldn't hear most of it and couldn't understand what we did hear. When we complained to the management, we found out that the movie's sound is recorded in two different ways - train and music in DTS, dialogue in mono. Older theaters don't have the capability of adjusting one without the other, which means they're stuck with extreme balance problems like the one we encountered. If you must see this film, make sure you go to a swanky new facility!
Lastly, what plot there was often proved difficult to follow. I'm twenty-two and was lost a good part of the time (who's that guy? where'd he go? why is the kid climbing on top of the train?). If adults don't get it, how can small children possibly understand what's going on?
Okay, the animation was excellent. I have to give it that; I was really impressed. I also must admit that my party got up and left after about forty minutes, so maybe the movie does redeem itself, provided you're not experiencing the sound problems that we were. But even if it did get better, I'd have trouble recommending any film where I suffered through the first third of it, checking my watch every five minutes.
Instant Christmas classic? You've got to be kidding.