A Complete Train Wreck

Rating: 2/10 (4 December 2004)

What an abysmal piece of trash. This is nothing but a lame attempt to use Hanks as a vehicle to cash in on some new 'technology'. The film is a total dud. Dumb, boring, annoying, irritating...I mean everyone looks like a freakin' mannequin, but oh wait, they MOVE realistically. So amazing. Too bad the novelty wears off in what, the first minute?
The train is filled with the most annoying bunch of kids you'll ever hear. There is absolutely NO PLOT whatsoever, just a train riding around with some stupid obstacle getting in the way every 5 minutes so they can show off more of that amazing new technology. Pad this out to 90 minutes and you have TPE. The movie is so beyond hurting, I mean we're forced to sit through singing and dancing waiters for what? So things can move on screen really fast and we can be even more stunned by those amazing visuals? Its like they just threw anything and everything out there to get this to feature length.
Tom Hanks is as awful as ever. I mean the guy has zero range. Every movie he's the exact same no matter how hard he tries, even his voice as a conductor is unbelievable. I'm so glad this is flopping because its not a movie, its a pathetic attempt by Hanks and some computer geeks to milk people. Next time give us a movie instead of a showcase of your computer coding. One of the worst of the year.