Is Tom Hanks ill?

Rating: Null/10 (18 November 2004)

Mother and I have now seen the preview for this movie, and I just have to ask, IS EVERYONE BLIND?!!! TOM HANKS LOOKS AWFUL!!! Dead staring eyes? Skin like a tailor's dummy? Jerky uncoordinated movements? Are these signs of good health where he comes from? They certainly aren't down our way. Gone is the physical and energetic chameleon who won our hearts with Bonfire of the Vanities, where he played Sherman McCoy opposite that blonde woman whose breasts GREW BIGGER as the story progressed (it can happen btw). Now, though, he's but a shadow of his former self. Is this one of those big public secrets - like Michael Jackson or George Bush - that everyone knows about but no one mentions? HE IS OBVIOUSLY VERY, VERY ILL!!! We sensed something was wrong when we heard his attempts at speech in 'The Ladykillers' and thought things had gone from bad to worse when 'The Airport Lounge' came out. Mother said he was on the way out then('obvious irreparable brain damage' were her exact words) but he seemed fine afterwards in interviews - dribbled a bit, but he's at that age - so we thought he was on the mend. Thinking back, though, everyone was always very, very nice to him, as you are with someone who's been ill or is a bit simple, so I suppose that was a bit of a giveaway. So. America. LISTEN UP!!! I realize that he has a lot of friends in Hollywood, but I think the kindest thing to do surely, rather than to cast him in lead parts in multimillion dollar movies, would be to send him home and call the doctor. Surely none of us want to risk losing this brilliant leading actor when all that is needed is a kind word, some bed rest and possibly some sort of enema? I'm tired of watching this great man suffer just so some studio exec can set fire to yet another five dollar bill and shove it down some stripper's g-string. Have some compassion, PLEASE!!!