Strikes a wrong chord

Rating: Null/10 (5 April 1999)

Years ago, when foreign "art" films by the likes of Federico Fellini were all the rage, attracting attention even among the general populace, Mad magazine parodied these often difficult to comprehend films, suggesting that the more obscure the plot and the more ambiguous the actions of the characters, the more lavish the critics would be in their praise. Alfred E. Newman and company also provided tips for their readers who wanted to make their own art film, something that was possible because, at the time, the more amateurish the production, the more authentic it was thought to be. There is nothing amateurish about "The Piano," Jane Campion's film that, if not for "Schindler's List" would likely have won the 1993 Best Picture Oscar, and some might argue that it is not foreign since the characters speak English, but otherwise it meets all the requirements set down by Mad magazine for an "art" film: It is obscure, ambiguous, and just plain stupid.
The piano of the title is, I reckon, meant to be symbolic, but what does it symbolize? The sexuality of the lead character, Ada? Ada is a mute married to a man whose neighbor also has designs on her, but no matter how strong the passion both men feel, Ada's only satisfaction comes through playing that piano. Her playing would seem to represent masturbation. Men, of course, are brutes only interested in their own pleasure. They don't make love. They only have sex. If Ada is to experience orgasm, she will, as dozens of women's magazines and TV talk shows will tell you, have to do it herself.
Set in an ill-defined period that resembles the 19th century (at least the way it is usually depicted on film), the movie's costumes, cinematography, and set designs are very pleasing to the eye, as is Holly Hunter as Ada and Anna Pacquin as her daughter. Though neither performance was deserving of an Oscar, both are quite good considering the foolishness of the script. Harvey Keitel and Sam Neill as Ada's lovers are okay, too. Still, like those "art" films parodied in Mad magazine, "The Piano" is simply nonsense--a "woman's film" (egad!) that bashes men as forcefully as Ada hits those keys. It is as fashionable as "political correctness," just as silly, and just as likely to be laughed at in years to come.