One of the worst movies I've ever seen!

Rating: 1/10 (26 January 2004)

***SPOILERS BELOW***
Wow. To think that The Piano was nominated for 8 Oscars in '94 and won 3 (2 of them big ones) I expected so much more from this movie. Quite frankly, this is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Holly Hunter won a Best Actress Oscar for this role? WHY?? She didn't say a word throughout the entire film (except for voice overs at the beginning and end), and does nothing but look sad and withdrawn the whole time. The first thing I did after seeing this was look at the list of nominees/winners in '94, and saw who SHOULD HAVE won the Best Actress Oscar that year.Angela Bassett!! Anna Paquin won Best Supporting Actress.... why? She was good but not THAT good. Campion winning for Best Screenplay? The script' was horrible! It must've been a pretty bad year in Hollywood for this trash to be nominated for so many awards and win 2 big ones. In no way do I live & swear by popcorn movies', but this was just dreadful. Anyway, onto the film'.
I now know Jane Campion's M.O. After seeing the AWFUL In The Cut' last year, The Piano surprisingly has the same inadequacies & fetishes as 'In The Cut' did. It gives NOTHING of a story; nothing is developed...we're just thrown into these weird occurrences and frankly don't give a damn about anyone. A mute girl is arranged to marry some guy who lives in the woods somewhere, wants nothing to do with him, is forced to teach his friend, George Baines the piano, who is a perverted sicko (Keitel).... after numerous crude passes and sexual harassment by George, suddenly the feeling is mutual for her, her husband' (Sam Neill) finds out about the affair, cuts off one of her fingers, then finally allows her to leave with George his former friend, who takes care of her. This is the plot'. From here, now we're supposed to read into the oh-so-subtle' images that the piano is her voice' (pretty obvious) and, from reading other people's reviews, she's exploring; taking control of, if you will, her sexual qualities due to the suppression of them by society at this time (19th century). Well, I'm sorry, but I did not get that from the movie. Tell me: how was she in control? She's forced to teach George piano lessons, who only uses these sessions' as an opportunity to fondle, flirt and grope her every chance he gets. From the looks of things, she's not at all happy with what's happening. But she does them only to buy' her piano back, which she loves so dearly and is her voice' (I got that). But it's George that's in control there. The husband? I don't know what his story was, because he was the most neglectful spouse he could've possibly been. What was he supposed to do, rape her? It was obvious she didn't want him. So, she doesn't like her husband, wants nothing to do with him, and then suddenly falls for George, who was only degrading & offensive to her the whole time? How did that happen? WHEN did that happen? He shows her a little guilt and she switches her feelings? Was it that easy??? There was NO evidence of her EVER enjoying what he was doing....but then all of a sudden she's in love with him?? SPARE ME!! Meanwhile the husband sees her committing adultery when it first happens, but doesn't do/say anything until Flora, her DAUGHTER of all people (Anna Paquin) rats on her to him (when Ada goes back to George after being told to stay away). WHY did Flora do this? See, this is where we needed to see previous evidence of animosity by the daughter towards her mother (enough at least to warrant this)...but there's nothing of the sort. I guess Campion wants us to just write this off as pure ignorance/innocence by Flora, always wanting to do right even if it means getting her own mother in trouble. Give me a break....that act definitely looked malicious to me. But again, why was this the case when she was truly Ada's only real companion...her DAUGHTER for crying out loud!?!?! Anyway he finally grows some 'cojones' and punishes her by cutting off one of her fingers with an axe...he must be really good with an axe to only cut off one finger! LOL please! It's here in which we get a really bad acting job by Holly Hunter. I understand she can't scream but come on! Simply kneeling down on the ground just didn't convince me...I thought she was Supergirl for a second there, she didn't even wince! Her whole performance was emotionless and dry....I felt NOTHING for her. The only time I sat up in my seat was when she apparently tries to drown herself; I was practically laughing thinking to myself, yea, kill yourself so this trash could end'. At NO POINT in the film did I feel she was in control of things, except her lame & minimal attempts at showing affection to her husband by rubbing his body, in which he then trusted her again not to see George and remove the barricades from the windows. Some control she had with her hand was on the chopping block!
I've seen a pattern with Jane Campion. She just throws things together and puts you in a place with no background or character/story development (we hardly know where they are!!!), tries to make it artsy and throws a woman in there to try and make a point about her sexuality and sexual self-realization..that's probably her own stance on the issue. If that's what The Piano was about, I shouldn't have to ASSUME it. That's the main problem with this movie; it doesn't give the audience anything to take in and appreciate. It doesn't present anything..it only throws them into a situation, a weird & somewhat illogical one at that, and expects them to buy into it. I'm sorry, but I have to know where she's from, WHERE SHE IS, why/how she became, either by choice or not, mute (its very hard to believe the daughter's story), what her past relationships with men were like, why she didn't like her assigned husband, why/how/when she falls in love with the sadistic George, why her daughter (her only confidant) rats on her to her husband', etc etc. The story is extremely weak and fails to explain anything. One would probably say a film like Memento was artsy' too, but at least Christopher Nolan gave us something of a STORY there. The fact that this was praised and rewarded as much as it was is a travesty in my opinion. This was one big waste of time that I will only remember as one of the worst movies I've ever seen.it offers absolutely NOTHING! And that's the grade I give it...
ZERO out of **** stars.