Absolutely Appalling

Rating: Null/10 (2 March 1999)

It's just heartbreaking that any film studio would waste valuable resources on producing such a rotten, ill-conceived film. "The Piano" is pathetic, anti-male drivel that suffers from a shoddy script and horrific acting. I still can't believe Anna Paquin won an Oscar for her shrieky, annoying performance. Holly Hunter is grating and aggravating, not convincing. The androphobic tone of the film is truly disconcerting--the overall effect is about as uplifting as a Gloria Steinem tract. At least the title is appropriate--watching this, you'll be praying for a Steinway to fall on you and end your misery.