Mel Gibson frees the world, part II

Rating: 5/10 (17 July 2000)

Mel Gibson is just so patriotic - having no home of his own he vigorously defends everybody else's. Firstly he freed Scotland from the English in Braveheart, now it's the turn of the American colonies to be freed from the British yoke.
"The Patriot" makes me realise how some English people might have been a bit offended at Braveheart (my heart being firmly in Scotland I couldn't see it at the time . . .) in WWII movies nowadays there's usually a few nice Germans. Unfortunately this political correctness doesn't extend to the lesser battles. One English officer feebly tries to have principles temporarily but gives up - anything more complex might have stood in the way of this grossly over-acted and underscripted little adventure epic.
There's a few touching moments early on, but soon the audience wearies of the predictability of every scene, as rebel Gibson singlehandedly rallies the troops and drives the oppressors from American shores. There's even a few lines to show how, once the Brits are gone, slavery will probably be abolished as there will only be nice wholesome people left in this nice Little-House-on-the-Prairie country.
In the follow-up, Mel Gibson is going to free Australia. This should be mostly a political sleight-of-hand, as I don't think there have been any battles, but no doubt if it becomes a problem they will rewrite history a bit. Then there will be Mel Gibson frees Hollywood. In this movie, he puts paid to independent cinema that has for so long stood in the way of decent capitalistic dominance. Children of the future will be able to buy "Mel Gibson frees the world - the ten-volume DVD set." Finally a genetically-modified Mel Gibson will free the world of Mel Gibson and cinema will be re-born.
The Patriot: Popcorn fodder.