Terribly shallow film.

Rating: 1/10 (4 October 2000)

Oh dear. Oh dear dear dear.
What was Mel thinking? This film is actually kind of remarkable in one aspect - you can go and see what happens when a great actor just doesn't care any more.
Of course Mel's 'tude is more than a little insulting to the audience - but you get used to being insulted by the time this (overly long) film has wound down like a tin soldier with a broken spring (ie haltingly and pathetically):
Can the public get enough thrilling martial music played over scenes of militia joyfully killing the English? The film-makers obviously think not.
Can we forgive the APPALLING script that makes characters go to Shakespearianesque devices "Oh but that I had told thee of my love before" whenever they have some emoting to do? The film-makers obviously think so.
Can even the slightest grasp of the real history behind the war depicted in the film matter in the face of Mel whimpering? No - of course not and I probably should know better.
To paraphrase: those who forget history are condemned to make really bad period action films.
Not worth watching for the battles (1 x First-Ten-Minutes-of-Gladiator 10 x Patriot) or for the acting (Please care Mel - please stop being awful) or for the "history" (Bill&Teds is more accurate and more interesting).
I give it half a star for Heath Ledger and some of the English - who do care and are moments of relief in the torture that is watching this movie.