Patriot, how shall I describe thee?

Rating: 4/10 (27 October 2000)

I just sat through the Patriot, to my everlasting regret. The movie was tedious, predictable, shallow and cheaply sentimental. It was the epitome of big-budget Hollywood cheese. It features a pathetically evil Englishman, who does everything short of eating roasted American babies (on screen - it's implied he does it off screen) who provides a convenient excuse for Mel Gibson to commit gratuitous acts of violence, interspersed with scenes of the American flag snapping cheerily in the breeze.
Please listen to me. If you are like me, and you think Dr Strangelove is a better movie than the Matrix, The Seven Samurai is better than Lethal Weapon, or The Big Lebowski is better than Mission Impossible 2, avoid this jingoistic piece of garbage. If the converse is true, then by all means, pop a big bowl o' popcorn and get set for a "roller coaster ride" that will have you "on the edge of your seat."