Formulaic, Long, No New Ideas to Offer

Rating: 4/10 (28 June 2000)

I really didn't like this movie. It was ridiculously long (2:45!) given the the depth of the story it was telling. Why do directors think that a long movie is a better movie? Oooh lots of extras- let's call it "sweeping"! It followed the same boring Hollywood formula of a "really nice guy who once did some bad stuff now has to do something he really doesn't want to do because forces conspire to leave him no option". Yawn. Ummm, didn't Bruckheimer just do this to us with "Gone in Sixty Seconds"? At least there you see a car get hit by a wrecking ball.
Plot summary, no spoilers, just stuff you learn from trailers: A blissful country dude lives in a grand house in South Carolina. Lush stuff everywhere. Lots of sweet kids. What could be bad with this? Well, the English of course! Enter the English and now it's time for it to "get personal". You know when it gets personal that Mel is just gonna kick butt. Only this time the gimmick is that he uses a battle axe. That's pretty much all you get.
The inevitable comparison is to "Braveheart". That movie was *so much better* than "The Patriot". If you value an interesting and innovative plot you will find this movie wanting. If, on the other hand, you enjoy predictable humor, quid pro quo violence, and an emphasis on style over creativity then this is your flick. Just bring enough provisions to last the epic- it's a long haul.