Some flaws but best film ever at depicting "love until death do us part"

Rating: 8/10 (18 December 2011)

Let me confess: I am a guy, a husband of 23 years, reviewing a chick flick. And I've watched this film twice and read a large fraction of the viewer's comments, trying to think about and reconcile the two polar-opposite views of this film that viewers seem to have. So here is what I think.
1. The Notebook is the most touching and most accessible film ever made at depicting a romantic love that endures even through the gruesome trials of extreme old age -until "death do us part." If you don't get it, or don't think this is the way relationships are then I suspect it is because this is not the way relationships have been for you personally so far. But this type of love does truly exist -just as heroism truly exists. There are thousands of movies about heroism,even though many of us never experience "action heroes" in real life. There are very few movies about an "unselfish love" and how it persists beyond the courting and newlywed phases of life.
And,as a depiction of an enduring unselfish love, The Notebook is a very successful and powerful movie. In fact I cannot think of any popular film that is as good as the Notebook in this regard. It has moments of brilliant film-making -such as the beautiful turning-point scene on the river, and the way that Allie (Rachel McAdams) laughs after the lying-in-the-road scene when she admits "that was fun!", and the moment when James Garner says "As long as my wife is here, this is my home."
But lets not argue individual scenes because here is the bottom-line: As my wife and watched the last 20 minutes, I had to hold my wife in both arms as she cried loudly and her body shook. Eventually, at the ending scene, I started crying myself. I'm sorry, no matter how clunky one or two scenes may be, any movie that can elicit that strong of a reaction from some of its audience is a very well done movie.
2. Yep, I agree with the criticism of some of the scenes and acting: I thought the scenes with the Ferris Wheel and Noah and Ally lying on the road showed Noah as having an unattractive recklessness. Also, I wish Ryan Gosling had shown a bit more range, more of the softer, sensitive side of a man in scenes in which Noah and Allie were together. Gosling's acting depicts young love only as an overwhelming urgency to be together, but otherwise depicts little tenderness and is weak on "chemistry."
Many viewers said that they did not like the constant arguing between Allie and Noah, and I agree that some of the arguing seemed a bit...theatrical. But here's another truth: people in love do argue. Showing the arguments goes against the grain of most romantic films but I think it helps to make the Noah-Allie relationship more realistic - because it is not a phony "immaculate relationship."
And, there are many spot-on scenes that compensate -such as when Allie's mom takes her daughter to view the man she almost married earlier in life. The scenes with James Garner are almost all superb. The several scenes with the "widow from the next town" also rang true. And, the various looks on Rachel McAdams' face as she breaks the news to Lon near the end of the film were realistic and convincing.
So, altogether, this is not a flawless film - not a Godfather or Schindler's List - but it is enormously successful at doing what it intended to do and enormously satisfying. And if you, as a viewer, "just don't get it" may I suggest that you wait 30 years or until you have a bit more living under your belt - and then, please, view it again. If you do that, I suspect that you will cry -and that if you listen closely, you will hear the crying of the million and one viewers that came before you. I know, I hear a million now.