The worst film I've seen in a decade

Rating: 1/10 (24 June 2005)

My wife and I watched The Notebook last night. Within ten minutes we were furious at how slow, cliché, and predictable it was. And then it just got worse and worse. It was so very very bad that we were actually drawn to watch in perverse, embarrassed horror as each scene plodded through stale, obvious dialog, and the actors tried to salvage what was obviously a terrible muddle by overacting. I can't begin to convey just how awful this movie is, in every sense. Leave aside the horrendously dull, cliché-ridden script, the terrible acting, the ham-fisted directing, the swelling tear-jerker music, and the incredibly obvious plot -- Even the freaking costumes were terrible. The fake facial hair looked like it was done by 3rd-graders. If movies are meant to fascinate, then this one did all right. I consider this the worst film I have seen in at least five years, but rarely if ever have I (and my wife) been compelled to stay all the way through such abysmal crap out of some sort of hilarious anger at how were were wasting our own time. I mean we were jumping on the couches ad screaming in warped glee as each predictable plot point was tediously checked off the director's checklist. All the way to the very last shot (in the backstory) of her coming back and them hugging in a swirl of stock sentimental string music -- OF COURSE SHE'S COMING BACK. And the front story? They, uh, die TOGETHER? My God. We could not stop howling. Was he even sick? No. He just died -- just because! Because it went with the sickeningly sweet music, I guess. Then I come here expecting to be vindicated and I find a bunch of comments by people who were actually taken in by this plodding, pathetic drivel. What in the world is up? I usually am with IMDb folks on their 7.8s, but man alive, folks, step away from the Kool-Aid.