L.A. Inconsequential

Rating: 3/10 (19 May 2016)

(RATING: ☆½ out of 5)
THIS FILM IS NOT RECOMMENDED.
IN BRIEF: A bubble-headed rehash of crime thrillers and buddy movies.
GRADE: D+
SYNOPSIS: Two inept detectives try to unravel a mystery during the groovy 70's.
JIM'S REVIEW: Take the popular buddy movies of the 80's, add the retro good vibes of the 70's and quickly stir in the grisly blood and violence of the 90's and voila!...you have a half-baked movie entitled The Nice Guys, a film with no identity to call its own. To any unsuspecting moviegoer sitting through this dreadful rehash, the age-old adage, nice guys finish last, becomes all too true.
The setting is L.A. during the mid 70's. Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe play misfits Holland March and Jackson Healy, a couple of low-life PIs who join forces to solve a convoluted mystery involving a missing girl, a porn starlet, and how two distinguished actors can pick a real loser.
This alleged comedy is directed by Shane Black, whose previous experiences with this crime genre, like Lethal Weapon and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, has shown the filmmaker to have had some relative success. Here, he is more concerned with capturing the seventies era with his references to killer bees, rationed gas lines, disco music, and pong video games than delivering an entertaining and logical film.
His screenplay, co-written with Anthony Bagarozzi, is a total mess. Its plot frequently detours to violent chases and shoot-outs as it tries to connect the two unsolved cases and add some far less clever one-liners between the assorted mayhem. The crime and the comedy elements rarely align unless one agree that this comedy is indeed a crime and a waste of time and talent.
The casting of Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe, two actors known more for their heavy dramatic roles rather than their light comic style, seems off from the start. When it comes to the high art of comedy, the track record of both actors is spotty as best. (While Mr. Gosling has had some success in this area, with film projects such as Crazy, Stupid, Love and Lars and the Real Girl, Mr. Crowe's comedy film credits include only Noah, a true laugh-riot.) Together, the two leads have zero chemistry between them.
Their foray as two wild and crazy guys is a dismal failure. Their so-called comedy bits are labored and bereft of humor. In fact, in one desperate scene, Mr.Gosling tries to channel the comic timing of Bud Abbott's double takes which elicited groans rather than laughs from the audience members. A paunchy Mr. Crowe is briefly united with an air-brushed Kim Basinger, his LA Confidential co-star, in a brief scene or two. Let us just say time has not been kind to either star and move on from there.
In supporting roles, Matt Bomer is underused as John Boy, a paid assassin, and Beau Knapp as a blue-faced killer is more annoying than menacing.The talents of fine actors like Keith David and Lois Smith are squandered in this dud. Only Margaret Qualley as Amelia and Angourie Rice as Holland's wiser-than-her-years teenage daughter create real characters, but that is due to their screen presence rather than the dialog they are spewing. (Both actresses make a strong impression and do deserve better parts.)
The film is interminably long, makes absolutely no sense, and has no laughs...none! The Nice Guys makes for miserable company. Avoid.
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