Please god make it stop!!

Rating: 1/10 (29 May 2006)

Now I know why Elvis shot out his TV. He wasn't drunk, He was watching this movie. I am a movie junkie. I was really excited about this one because I live several miles from where they shot this film. I was prepared for a big budget re-telling of the founding of Jamestown. Boy was I wrong. This over-bloated, self absorbed ART film is AWFUL. I wish I could blame a bad script but there's virtually no dialogue. The movie runs roughly 2h 12min and has maybe 5 pages of dialogue. The rest of the time is spent walking through tall grass, looking at sunsets or having John Smith and Pocahontas make googly eyes at each other. For the last hour of the film, substitute John Rolfe for John Smith and repeat previous line. I know that more happens than that, but by that time, I'd been so bored already that I fell into a slight coma and didn't really care anymore.
Please, I you want to see a early American Indian/Colonial love story just watch Last of the Mohicans instead.