The most tedious old dross I have ever sat through...

Rating: 1/10 (3 January 2006)

since The Thin Red Line.
If I was a Hollywood Exec and Terrence Malik came into my office to pitch a film to me I would have two reactions:
1). Have him thrown out by security and given a kicking in the car park (I sat through the tedious dross that is The Thin Red Line.... )
2). Agree to his ideas and fund it and then, once I had the completed final prints in my hand, put them on a shelf in the vaults, never to see the light of day again. $100M well spent - a public service you might say! When The Thin Red Line came out, I was really looking forward to seeing it. I thought it would be great to see a war film with George Clooney and John Cusack in. George Clooney (listed 4th on the poster) does casual violence really well and I am yet to see a film with John Cusack in that I didn't like.
However, what did I get? A film where John Travolta appeared for about 2 minutes at the beginning, John Cusack was good - but suddenly and without explanation vanished, George Clooney (listed 4th on the bloody poster) for 2 minutes at the end, and a tedious narration all the way through by Sean Penn (can't we make him shut up...).
Oh, and (lest we forget) countless hours of sunlight. The sun in the sky. Sunlight through trees. And sunlight on water...
If you enjoyed The Thin Red Line, you'll probably like this, because Terence Malik has done it again. Yes, he's taken something interesting and made it as dull as ditch water. The New World is the story of Europeans going to America and treating the indigenous people like crap. And there are countless hours of sunlight. The sun in the sky. Sunlight through trees. And sunlight on water...
Because of all the shots of sunlight, this film is about 27 hours long. Well, that's how long it feels. If you were to ask how more boring it could be, the answer would be none, none more boring.
If you really want to watch this film, get Disney's Pocahontas instead. It might be as historically accurate as anything a politician ever tells you about "under the previous government..." but it won't be nearly so tedious. And you won't have a numb bottom. Or DVT.
Damn, I hated that film. Boring, boring, boring.
Do yourself a favour. Gouge your eyes out with spoons so you can never watch this rubbish by mistake.