Racist, droll, and Colin Farrell

Rating: 1/10 (1 January 2006)

I could blame it on the Darth Vader wheezing coming out of the morbidly obese fellow behind me kicking my chair through the first fifteen minutes...or maybe the three rather angry ladies filling the row next to me, but I don't think I have to blame my bad movie experience on anything except the movie itself. The New World is a miserably slow movie that seems desperate to try and impress us with its obnoxious long shots and absolute crap narration. Colin Farrell's acting is so wooden that he wears the look of surprise for the film's copious length. What's worse, if there could be worse, is the "noble savage" treatment of the native Americans. I thought, foolishly, that we had moved far enough along that maybe we realized that the people that first inhabited the United States were, in fact, people. However, it appears Mr. Malick disagrees, turning the Native Americans into barking, sniffing animals who ponder only what any caricatured Indian would ponder...you know, water, wind, and spirit. Absolutely dreadful. If you have half a mind and the wherewithal to recognize crap when you see it, avoid this movie.