The New Boredom

Rating: 1/10 (5 February 2006)

If your expecting this film to be anything like "Last of the Mohicans" you will be very disappointed.
The film itself is 2 and a half hours long in which nothing what so ever happens, the only fight scene if you can call it that lasts about 3 minutes. The rest of the film is like a very boring montage of over the top orchestral music and pointless imagery. I think the director was trying to create a visual masterpiece but none of the scenery was interesting or breath taking, e.g. some hedges in England were shown for about ten minutes interlinked with Pocahontas splashing her face in a puddle, while the same orchestra music that had been playing continuously through the whole film was just played even louder.
The main character Captain John Smith is actually from my home town of Alford in Lincolnshire, England, so i cant understand why Colin Farrel was cast to play him, the distinctive Irish accent completely destroyed the credibility of the whole film. Nearly half of all the dialogue in the film was narrated by the various characters telling you nonsense that had nothing to do with anything, instead of them just speaking with each other. The first half of the movie is the love story between the Native Indian Princess Pocahontas and John Smith set in "The New World", the second half is the same story again but set in England with a different love interest in the form of Christian Bale.
I don't know what the director was trying to achieve but he failed, there was no change in pace throughout and i was left feeling like it never really got started, there was nothing educational in it, there was no real character motivation or interaction due to the constant narration which was incredibly annoying, Colin Farrel just cant sound inspirational!
I am now going to recreate the film by playing 30 seconds of Beethovens 9th on a loop for two and a half hours while staring at a bush in my garden!