Dissenter

Rating: 2/10 (24 January 2006)

First off, I know I'm going to get lambasted for this rating. Let me start by saying that the acting, cinematography and production values were all top notch. But frankly, the movie flowed like one of my high school history papers. 15 pages of flowery garbage that could have been done succinctly in about one paragraph to half a page. The wind blowing, the scenery, they were both beautifully done. But seriously, do we need to watch still water and rain drops falling on a pond for an hour? Just how interesting is tree bark? How much thought have you given to the enthralling qualities of grass growing? The silence may have been revolutionary and "artsy," but frankly it just added to the complete and utter boredom that was apparent in everyone, save the elderly who were already asleep, in the theater. And better yet, when the characters DID speak, they mumbled inaudible noises disguised as the English language.
It literally pained me to watch this movie. I reached a point where I questioned my existence and why I was still in the theater, when clearly I could have been studying, working out, cleaning, doing ANYTHING productive. There were 3 separate occasions where I believed (and was truly grateful) that the movie was over...unfortunately, I was wrong. Dead wrong. the sole reason for keeping me in that seat was the fact that I had already invested $8. It was the principle of it.
Once again, I'm sure that this movie will win a large number of awards, and it deserves to win some of them. There are two things I look for in a movie: 1. Entertainment value, 2. Epiphanies. As far as entertainment value, this movie gets a large THUMB DOWN. This was undoubtedly one of the most boring pieces of "art" that I have ever witnessed. As for epiphanies, no. This movie has not changed my life, or philosophy in life at all. Nor has it given me any new perspectives on concepts I already thought about. All this movie did for me was waste my $8.
Even though it's only about 2.5 hours, my mind felt like it was 10. I feel as though I lost more brain cells watching this movie than I would have had I sat about 1 in from a nuclear reactor going critical. This movie may be appealing to some who have a vastly different set of priorities than I (and the vast majority of the viewing public), but overall, I wouldn't even use this movie to hold up an uneven coffee table. Although it might be useful for a skeet shooting outing...