Guess what. The Mummy returns.

Rating: 8/10 (25 May 2001)

So here's the sequel to 1999's 'The Mummy'. I think that's the standard way to start a sequel review, but if you really needed me to tell you that, then get off-line, cancel your plans for the weekend, and rent the video of the first one!
'The Mummy Returns' is exactly what it says on the tin. The Mummy returns. Chaos ensues. It has everything you'd expect from a thoroughly well-made sequel to a great action film - stunning effects, fantastic stunts, some nifty martial arts, just a dash of comedy to taste, and lots of improbable turns. And lots of creepy crawlies. The only thing that could possibly improve on this romp of a film is some attempt at a plot.
The film is straight from the same mould as its predecessor - file under 'Excellent Mong-Out Adventure Film Entertainment' - totally mindless, totally enjoyable, from beginning to end. Hurray for dumbing down! Brendan Fraser perfects the unsubtle-but-lovable-American act and Rachel Weisz is ideal as his squealy-girly English wife, while being feisty enough to keep the character clear of slap-able uselessness. Their kid (Freddie Boath) is suprisingly tolerable (given my cynically low acceptance threshold for precocious kids in films) - amusingly gobby, and yet rarely crossing the boundary into irredeemable obnoxiousness. John Hannah is a bit pitiful playing the wet Englishman part. It should have been good, it's almost fantastic - it's a great role, well written, very capably acted, if a bit overplayed - but it all seems such an insult to his lovely Scottish accent. Patricia Velazquez as Anck-Su-Namun is frankly astounding. I could go on to commend the excellent roles of Lock-Nah (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), Izzy (Shaun Parkes) and The Scorpion King (The Rock), in similar glowing terms, but this could get boring.
And, well, I've saved the best till last. The nominees for sexiest man on the planet are........ both in the same film? Impressive! We get to see much more (wahey!) of the rather tasty Oded Fehr, as the dark and enigmatic Ardeth Bey, but he's pipped to the post by the delicious Arnold Vosloo, as Imhotep, who we get to see plenty of too. Really, lots and lots of him. And he doesn't have beetles in his head this time. Mmm-mmm. That evil undead charisma wins me over every time.