It was awful. It was offal.

Rating: 1/10 (3 May 2001)

All right,(shuddering intake of breath) here we go.
This movie was bad. Now look up bad in every english thesaurus ever made, and all the words there won't begin to describe how bad this movie was.
I LIKED the first Mummy. I give it a ten. While there might have been a couple tiny bits that left a bad taste in my mouth, overall I thought it was great. Stephen Sommers is an awesome writer/director, I've always enjoyed his films. But this...
When I saw the previews, my mouth watered, it looked awesome. Sure it had a kid in it, but I didn't think he'd weigh the film down. They had all the original cast coming back, John Hannah, Oded Fehr... slam dunk, hole in one. But this...
They took the first movie, then instead of taking all the good stuff, they just condensed the Bad Taste In My Mouth parts. I'm amazed the Kid wasn't the worst thing about it. Oh, he was Bad, but there's a lot of bad in this movie. Historical innaccuracies, zero characterization, cliche's galore...any one of those I could have forgiven, but not all of them.
This is a big, soulless, hollywood, summer movie. This is Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. I hated Short Round...and I hated this Kid. For the most part, it's a total rehash of stuff from the first movie. I'd put in a SPOILER warning, but if you saw the first one, you know how this is gonna turn out. Bad. It's bad.
The chick that played Ananck Su Namun is back, and apparently she wanted a speaking role this time. Bad Idea. The Rock out acted her. Not the wrestler, one of the rocks on film. Not that good acting would have saved this plotless chunk of filth. If you want decent characterization, I guess they thought it would carry over from the first movie. The actors were there for filler in between pointless special effects, and dumb fight scenes. (If you're a fan of either, forget what I've said, go see it, enjoy.)
Plot holes, oh the plot holes. Big enough to pass the Giza Pyramid through. How did Oded GET to england, much less to Rick's mansion? He says he's never been on a bus before. Evie is a kung-fu chick? Why didn't these neato abilities kick in in the first movie??? They sure as heck woulda been useful. Rick is a magi? Does he need a DAMN reason to fight the mummy? Flashback to Ancient Egyptian Foxy Boxing, why? The huge honkin' tropical rainforest...around a PYRAMID...in the middle of a DESERT!!! No one noticed this before? Seems odd in a world filled with ROCKET POWERED BALLOONS!!! Sorry, suspension of disbelief only goes so far...jets...we didn't even HAVE JETS THEN!!! That guy would have made some serious money with his inventions. I know the Germans woulda been interested...
And the special effects...sure, they're impressive...but they don't make a movie "Good" in my book. Case in point, Dragonheart. Nuff said. Goin' to see a bad movie for good special effects is akin to goin' to the circus to gawk at the "Freak Show". Well, looky that. If that don't beat all! They're nice, they're gravy...but I'd rather have a well made movie. And the Scorpion/Rock...man, flashback to Clash of the Titans. Ray Harryhausen is turnin' over in his grave...if he's dead. I hope not, Ray's a good man. But this...guh.
I'm not alone in my feelings either. Pretty much all in the theater felt this way. When the balloon thrusters kicked in, I screamed and threw a bottle of mountain dew at the screen. Many others followed suit.
Okay...guess that's it. I tried to stay calm and rational...I guess I coulda sent in a comment that was just full of screaming and profanity...which was going on in the car on the way home...but I figured this has a better chance of being put up as a warning. If you liked the first one at all, I don't think you'll like this one much. If you're just looking for a stupid summer movie...go ahead, it's YOUR soul. Peace.