Too much, already.

Rating: 5/10 (8 May 2001)

"The Mummy Returns" seems so intent on avoiding boredom that it goes in the other direction and simply crushes the viewer with action and detail. I think the movie also operates on the premise that the audience is stupid. Almost all of the important scenes to come are set up by someone opening with "It is written ... " so that we know how the heroes are going to slip the noose even before the danger presents itself. At least the writers saw how overdone the dialogue was getting and gave John Hannah the line, "Where is it written?" But I think the movie is too long and that it could have benefitted from rewriting and editing more than from cute cover-ups. I am impressed by Arnold Vosloo, the South African actor who portrays Im-Ho-Tep. He has a strong screen presence. I think that since the writers created an even more super-duper villain in the Scorpion King that Im-Ho-Tep might have evolved into a good guy at the end, as occurred in "The Terminator" series. That opportunity is even presented, but slavishly passed over in favor of an incredulous, three-way fight scene at the end. This movie is hokey, littered with too much glitter and written by formula. It reminds me of those commercials where people "stop trying" but still expect to be paid. If anyone has to see this, at least wait until it comes on cable so you can tape it. Then you can pause the tape for bathroom breaks. Some of the external reviews were more entertaining than the movie itself.