not good, even with The Rock and Vosloo

Rating: Null/10 (11 December 2001)

Okay, I love Egyptian themed movies and The Rock and Arnold Vosloo more than most people, and even I didn't like this movie. Everything was wasted - as mentioned before, not nearly enough of The Rock (in so many ways), and what was up with making Arnold Vosloo a coward in the end? I was not impressed. He's supposed to be a tragic hero, etc, bad but only because he's so p***ed off at being cursed forever and mad with love for that chick of his. He deserves a lot more than that. (He is gorgeous, though - isn't he? I love that arm band of his, and his bald head and little loincloth and....)I usually like John Hannah, but he's a cheap slapstick stick in this franchise. He's only entertaining when he's allowed to think. Rachel Weissz does well, as does Brendan Fraser, but I care for them much less than I should - I want to see my boys! The special effects were not great. It could have been a really grandeous spectacle, with lots of sexual tension, repressed emotions, gore and the like, but it's not. It's crap. Whoever spawned all this nonsense forgot that Egypt was a crazy whacked out soap opera, and y'all have got to be depraved to enjoy it! So why has it been sanitized? Like everyone else, I'm looking forward to The Scorpion King, but it better be R-rated, featuring The Rock's ass and at least a margin of a script.
P.S. I just have to say this - The Rock is the sex machine to end all sex machines!!!!! The most beautiful face with a bod to match!