Cartoons, Cartoons, Cartoons...

Rating: 1/10 (23 May 2002)

What a joke this movie is. The first Mummy was quite alright, with the right dose of suspense, an interesting story, likeable characters and quite subtle visual effects. Not an 'Indiana Jones' in any way, but an enjoyable movie nevertheless.
'The Mummy Returns' looks fake from start to finish. Sommers tried to create a sequel that is bigger an better than the first one, but he failed in almost every way.
Someone should tell film makers that today's computer technology is not yet able to replace EVERY movie set and definitely it's not ready to replace actors!!
This movie includes some of the worst effects ever created by ILM and maybe it's not even their fault. Because it's their job to do what the director wants, so if they were asked to create the Rock as a CGI character, they just had to do it.
Of course the result is totally laughable, an embarrassing moment for a movie with such a high budget. Also the moment where the pyramid sucks in all the jungle, is the stupidest, most fake, over-the-top effect I have ever encountered.
What the hell was Sommers thinking? "Ah, that's a nice idea, I'll just ask the ILM guys to do it and we're done". Well, it looks totally cartoonish and ridiculous.
Having recently watched the good old 'Big Trouble in little China', all I have to say is that the rubber monster in no way worst than any of the effects in 'Mummy Returns'. Why? Because principal photography is at least applied on set and can -with the right director- produce a quite realistic result.
Listening to the DVD audio commentary by Stephen Sommers, all I can say is that the guy is totally untalented and has no appreciation of art at all. He was just lucky. The people are always hungry for Indiana Jones type of adventures and he was there at the right time. He is under the impression that because his movie sold well, he created something good.
Well, this movie has zero suspense, the characters are now unlikeable (except for the always brilliant John Hannah) and everything's totally predictable. Plus, there are so many elements in 'Mummy Returns', you just can't keep track of. Pygmy mummies out of nowhere, flying zeppelin things, projector bracelets, weird reincarnations, among others. It's like having a sandwich with everything on; in the end, you just don't know what you're eating.
The script isn't totally bad, but it's loaded with so much useless information that makes the movie hard to watch, even for the sake of the story. I had to listen to the DVD commentary, to realize that the building Eve and Rick return to, is their home and not a museum! What was that?! Who produced this joke of a movie?
The humor is good though, I grant Sommers that. Also did you know that the 2-disk set DVD sold ever more that the movie itself? And it's a terrible release too. The second disc was totally unnecessary, it's full of the Rock being interviewed - who cares about him anyway?
If they followed a more subtle direction, they could have a good movie. You know, Sommers said that computer guys cannot replace an actor. Well, THEY HAVE REPLACED YOU, Stevie!