Worst Movie of 2001? Quite possibly. Worst movie EVER? There's a chance...

Rating: Null/10 (20 July 2001)

There was nothing good about 'The Mummy Returns'. The original mummy was a travesty, and I'm not sure what compelled me to see the sequel, but I can safely say that it made the first one look like Ben Hur.

First of all, the plot. I won't go into detail so as to avoid a spoiler, but suffice to say that there was no REASON to any of it. Watch the movie again and ask yourself 'wait, WHY was the scorpion king under this strange and pointless list of restrictions/rules?' There IS no reason. It was so contrived that within the first five minutes I was already hating it. The behavior of the characters was pointless and absurd (I mean, we watch the villian of the first movie succeed in EVERY goal he was twarted from in this film, so what exactly were they wasting their time with in the first movie?).
The acting? Sorry brandon, you make a fine monkey man, and a terrific innocent loser, but when it comes to swashbuckling action hero, nope, doesn't cut it. As for Weisz, well, she wasn't even trying. Finally, we have that wretched precoscious kid, who would have ruined the movie had it been at all tolerable to begin with.
Holes in the plot? Never mind the myriad historical inaccuracies (which we all just learned to stomach years ago), lets ask ourselfs what kind of cop out writer would have our heros smashed down hundreds of feet to a jungle floor by a towering wave of water and then, without explanation, have them alive and not even bruised? I'll tell you what kind of writer. A very lazy and sloppy writer who was getting paid, knew people would watch the stupid movie anyway, and didn't care. That's what kind.
Now, you can say 'oh, it had good special effects'. First of all, the special effects were second rate. Second of all, they ALL have good special effects these days. If that's your criteria for seeing a movie, then you must be in absolute heaven right about now. Me, I demand they put some WORK into it, and give me a well written story, some people who are TRYING to act, and someone who can write. I mean, if you don't want those things, stay home and watch FOX.
If you go to see this movie, you have no one to blame but yourself and stephen Sommers, whose movies I shall happily avoid in the future.