Awful acting and rubbish CGI, but it's still an improvement over the first

Rating: 5/10 (30 August 2016)

I wasn't a major fan of the first MUMMY film so it took me six years to finally bother watching this sequel – when I happened to catch it on television. In all respects it's a direct continuation of the first in the series, with the viewpoint of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". THE MUMMY made a whole heap of cash at the box office, so the big wigs ordered more of the same, and what we get is THE MUMMY RETURNS. Loud, brash, and resolutely dumb, this is a film that requires you to leave your brain outside the door before sitting down to watch. It's packed with preposterous special effects and some awful acting, but despite these things, I couldn't help but enjoy it a little. It's certainly more fun than the first film, as everything's settled down a little and there are no hopes waiting to be dashed. Despite the overlong running time, THE MUMMY RETURNS provides adequate entertainment for those in a forgiving mood.
I won't talk about the plot – suffice to say the action shifts from Egypt to London and then finally back to Egypt again. It's all wonderfully stupid, and the script is a real clunker this time around. Unfortunately the film-makers decided to put a kid into the proceedings, and Freddie Boath plays an irritating public school brat of a boy; you'll be praying for him to get his head lopped off or at the very least lose an arm during the proceedings, but to no avail. Fraser and Weisz return as the hero and heroine; Fraser is typically wooden, while Weisz gives another absolutely appalling performance; how is this woman still getting acting jobs? Far better is John Hannah, whose comic relief role is reduced here, and the returning Arnold Vosloo seems a lot more comfortable with his central role. Heads up to The Rock, who impresses despite only having five minutes of screen time, and Patricia Velasquez, who seems to be trying to rival Weisz in terms of bad acting but who really looks the part – especially those eyes! Other characters I liked were Izzy, the black pilot; the black bodyguard, who whups major backside, and Alun Armstrong, who seems a little lost here, a world away from his usual films.
This being an action-adventure, you'd better pray there's plenty of action to be had, and the good news is that there most definitely is. Whether it's mummies chasing a double decker bus through the streets of London, Arabs and Westerners duking it out in displays of swordsmanship, or deadly pygmies lurking in the bush, the fight scenes come thick and fast and once again, they're heavy on the special effects. As for those FX, they're a mixed bunch, ranging from passable but seeming to deteriorate as the film progresses. By the time the completely-CGI Scorpion King shows up at the film's climax, they're hopelessly messy and quite appalling, and the cartoonish pygmies are also a disappointment. But never mind that – THE MUMMY RETURNS improves on the first film, and that's a definite good thing. Just don't go in expecting too much.