Well...it was noisy and there were lots of monsters.

Rating: 6/10 (19 May 2001)

I wasn't bored watching "The Mummy Returns", which is about all I can say for it. The problem was that I was never really involved, excited or interested. Brendan Fraser maintains his vague, undefinable, barely-there charisma. Rachel Weisz is still kinda-sorta-attractive-but-not-really and her acting hasn't improved any. The little kid is, like most little kids in the movies, roughly 7,000 times smarter than any of the adults in the picture, far too smart to really be 8 years old, full of "hilarious" wisecracks, and massively annoying.
The ultimate problem, though, is that it doesn't really succeed as a summertime special effects movie - it doesn't contain a single FX shot that made me sit up and take notice. Granted, this is becoming harder and harder to do, but "The Mummy Returns" didn't even try. They just had all the same effects from the first movie, except more of them.
But there were some swordfights, lots of shootouts, plenty of monsters, and the volume was turned way, way up. Also, the popcorn was pretty tasty, the root beer was okay...and I didn't fall asleep once during the movie. So...I guess...that's a plus. Of sorts.