It's...a sequel!

Rating: 5/10 (14 May 2001)

Bigger! Louder! Dumber! More! Before you have time to be confused they'll be on to the next bit! It's to be expected I guess; the only way to out-do the first one is to chuck any shred of historical feel (plus the pace, the dialogue and spread the CG budget so thin it looks like Babylon 5 at times). In the first few sequences it's obvious what happened; using every male bodybuilder in the world as an extra forced them to blow out the catering budget on protein shakes. This movie lacked any thrilling aspect, any tension. The leads felt like they were in a dull bubble of safety no matter how many times they were kidnapped (which was a lot), being shot at (also a lot) or dangling from somewhere dangerous (which seemed to happen anywhere they were more than a metre above sea level). Sure, in this kind of matinee pulp we all "know" that the good guys are going to make it, but there can still be the odd thrill of risk and close shaves. The only guy who seemed to be working for a living in this was Oded Fehr, as the long suffering Ardeth Bey. He probably got the lowest pay rise after the first one and then he has to carry the film! A pity really, since the bad guys were pretty good for the most part. Patricia Velasquez and Arnold Vosloo (playing crazy dead people) had more humanity than their white hatted counterparts. (*spoilers!*)
And what the hell is wrong with letting them live?! Can't we skip the resurrection schtick for just one film (the next one)? Or at least reduce it a little. The amount of time it took in this one didn't help. The next one will need a score card.
(/spoilers)
It's tough to talk about films like this and criticizing them without the suggestion that you've taken it too seriously. You're supposed to relax and go along with it. Well that's what the first one did, it was Raiders of the Lost Ark meets Army of Darkness. It was bright and breezy and had lots of character. The Mummy Returns just makes the first one look good. It's silly fun and it will do very well but this time it's too much silly, too little fun.