The Mummy (1999) BOMB

Rating: 1/10 (21 December 2004)

CGI-infested, comical garbage ... an insult to moviegoers, or it should be -- because this idiotic film actually has its supporters. Mummy? What "mummy"? All we get is what amounts to an animated, computerized, cartoony cousin to the Terminator skeleton that actually "talks" (!?) with a patented deep and demonic-sounding voice. But, mercifully, at least this thing's only on screen for a few minutes of this atrocity; the rest of the time we're pulverized with non-stop and ultra-cartoony computerized effects and inane humor, the type of which were so prevalent in American horror films of the late 20th and early 21st centuries, that it's becoming increasingly unlikely year after year that a decent monster flick can ever be made again.
In his other incarnation, the bald-headed and very human-looking "Im Ho Tep" (who has the habit of elongating his open mouth extra wide for no apparent reason other than to utilize the rubbery computer fx) is a pathetic excuse for the title character, and Brendan Fraser is no Indiana Jones, despite his (and the film's) efforts to accomplish precisely that. The characters are idiotic and my mind was so blitzed out by the over-use of computer effects that I didn't even know what I was looking at most of the time. And the stupidity! I knew I was in for trouble the moment those bookcases toppled over like dominoes in that library.
Senseless, plot-less, meaningless, mind-numbing, CGI-diarrhea'd, stinking rubbish. This kind of material was far better respected even when Abbott and Costello met their mummy.
0 out of ***