Indiana Jones meets Hellraiser, but with better actors

Rating: 6/10 (4 November 2013)

Totally disregard any previous "Mummy" films before going to see this. Not because this is the definitive effort, but just for the simple reason that this has nothing to do with any of them. It's a family-friendly version, with a lot of rather unnecessary CGI throughout, and far more gags than genuine shocks. It's your standard action/adventure movie, and yet, it still is reasonably entertaining. But the biggest disappointment of all, is the fact that there isn't really a mummy in the entire movie. Instead, in a plot exactly lifted from Clive Barker's original "Hellraiser" movie, we have a decomposing, cursed man who must drain his victims dry, to rebuild himself physically. Not exactly original.
What does make rather a nice change, though, is the fact that both our leads are capable and seem to be having a lot of fun, rather than the po-faced posing we're so used to seeing in movies these days. Brendan Fraser is a capable and solid enough hero, who, despite his constant dry quips, is not at all arrogant, and has a quiet believability to him totally unlike your average action hero. Rachel Weisz, back before the dark days of "Constantine", is charming and talented, and there is a great chemistry between the two of them that keeps the movie alive. The vast swathe of other characters, largely comic grotesques, range form John Hannah's likable buffoon, to Kevin J O'Connors' weaselly little git. Connor manages to get even more and more annoying in each scene, and whilst he isn't the only thing wrong with this movie, cutting him out entirely would improve this movie no end.
Arnold Vosloo is a fairly by-numbers villain, who adds little beyond a certain imposing physicality to the role, although he does look good in the role. His love interest, though, Patricia Velasquez, is phenomenal, and if ever there was a woman worth suffering a living death for, it must just be her. Velasquez has less than five minutes screen-time, but makes her presence acutely felt, with her elaborate, painted on costume, the most visually stunning element of the entire movie.
The story putters along, with some impressively staged action scenes, with great stunt-work throughout. It's just a shame that the horror content wasn't half as good as the stunt-work, because then we'd have a proper "Mummy" film. Instead, rather than being at all creepy, all the supernatural elements are handled with heavy CG. Vast biblical plagues are realised effectively enough, but the over-the-top nature of most of the CG threats - plagues of millions of beetles you can escape by side-stepping, plagues of locusts you can avoid by staying indoors, huge walls of sand, etc - aren't written compotently enough to be exciting. The main problem is the old chestnut of the all-powerful villain, who somehow gets defeated. They've amped up Imhotep's powers so much, that he's a supernatural entity who can do anything with a thought - so how does he get so easily defeated? Lesson learned here - don't give your villain unlimited powers, or else we'll just be massively disappointed when he finally gets beaten, and this movie is no exception.
There is a strong comedy quotient in this movie, where tension is never allowed to be built up, without immediately being diffused by a joke, or someone making light of the situation. It creates the jaunty, entertaining tone, but, unlike most movies, it doesn't go away as the stakes get higher. Our characters make jokes, and are engaged in comic set-pieces right up until the very end. The more fun tone is fine to begin with, but it gets a bit tiresome towards the end, when things should be getting a lot more serious.
Dramatically, "The Mummy" is heavily flawed. The CGI is far too over-used, the threat amped up to totally unrealistic proportions, which only succeed in being faintly disappointing. But, Fraser and Weisz are good leads. Jerry Goldsmith delivers a very traditionalist soundtrack, which largely goes un-noticed in the chaos. The first half is fun, reasonably exciting, heavily action-packed, and funny without being silly. Sadly, the end gets rather flat, and the build-up we've had, where we're waiting to finally see the mummy, is rudely shattered by a rather shoddy piece of CGI.
To be honest, it could have been a lot worse. It's very casually entertaining, made for audiences with a short-attention span, who laugh at gag after gag because they don't have the patience to follow a plot, or sustain an atmosphere. It's rubbish compared to the Hammer movie, but, compared to today's blockbusters, there's something charmingly human about it all.