Bring EVERYTHING to America now!

Rating: Null/10 (27 February 2014)

This is the main lesson taught by THE MONUMENTS MEN. The best WWII flick of 2014 (so far), MONUMENTS MEN explains how Hitler almost destroyed most of the world's art heritage (that is, Western Civilization). In my lifetime, the giant Buddhas in Afghanistan--their Twin Towers--have been lost forever. There were the world's largest statues--standing for umpteen centuries--and they were used for Taliban artillery target practice. America twiddled its thumbs when this happened. Therefore, the Taliban were emboldened to have their Al Qaida henchmen destroy OUR Twin Towers (which were the world's tallest buildings when they were built). See a pattern here? The Great Pyramids, the Sphinx, and the Kremlin's St. Basil church are among the world's most endangered cultural treasures we still have left. We moved London Bridge to Arizona already; it's high time we bring the Pyramids and the rest of it over here for safe keeping, as well. American billionaires will chip in for transportation costs (and may be willing to throw in the cost of placing full-scale replicas at original sites, if the host governments prefer to have something for their angry mobs to vandalize and destroy). After you see how America saved the world once already in THE MONUMENTS MEN, you'll join me in demanding that we establish a World Monument Valley at a suitably warm site, with the same amenities as (preferably adjacent) LegoLands, Sea Worlds, and Six Flags.