Horrible ending, ridiculous continuity

Rating: 2/10 (26 October 2008)

The nonsequiters, plot holes and poor continuity drove me crazy. Critter cracks a window. Two seconds later the actors look at the same critter through the crack-free window. The storefront gets blown out, but they panic over keeping the front door closed! They'd be neck-deep in monsters for the rest of the movie, which would make it blessedly shorter. Since rope-guy made it 20 feet out front before becoming a bite-sized snack, Drayton decides he can make it to his car, which is closer. But what about the tentacles that snatched bag boy right off the loading dock? They're safer out front than in back? Drayton begs people not to go outside, then he does it TWICE. The religious evangelista's gross put-downs to the substitute mom are completely out of character. The previously unseen couple shares a romantic moment, which makes clear that they are both about to be toast. Then after all that we get the uplifting ending which is, again, completely out of character. I could see that happening if they had monsters all around, but they're just sitting there. I assume they're being apologists for what allegedly happened in the hospitals after Hurricane Katrina? I'd be shocked if the director has kids, and if he does, I feel sorry for them.
I give it a 2 instead of a 1 because it did create tension, Toby Jones created a totally original character and Thomas Jane was a good leading man. Marcia Gay Harden was way over the top, though. The monsters were okay; I've seen crab-monster before but can't place him. Will have to check the credits (not).
This movie would have been a lot better with a team of sarcastic robots taking jabs at it. If MST3K comes back, this movie should be its first victim.