horrendous

Rating: 1/10 (23 November 2007)

"The Mist" rivals "Dreamcatcher" as the least scary, most unimaginative and rehashed Stephen King adaption ever, which is somewhat shocking considering both movies were directed by Oscar-nominated directors. But perhaps their credibility is actually the problem here (not to mention Stephen King's crusty imagination)--maybe these directors simply can't direct Horror, which is a genre that must necessarily forgo melodramatic pretension in favor of more visceral storytelling. It doesn't help that the melodrama itself sucks, cluttered with cookie-cutter characters spouting utterly phony dialogue and making inexplicable decisions seemingly for the convenience of the plot. If the movie delivered scares, the melodrama might be forgivable, but failing at both is inexcusable.
Look, just because Stephen King lies about retiring and continues to churn out crappy pseudo-horror stories, doesn't mean every single one has to made into a crappy movie simply to cash in on his reputation. I mean, "The Mist" is totally devoid of anything original, thrilling, or the least bit creepy. The "mist" in the movie is more or less just fog, which makes it hard for the characters to see. I, for one, find it hard to see why Frank Darabont or any of the actors wanted to be involved in this film, which (to be frank) has got to be the low-point of all their careers so far.
There is nothing sinister, supernatural, or creepy about the "mist" itself. The movie alludes to some trite symbolic significance, and tries to unnerve with crude portrayals of religious fanaticism, but to my utmost disappointment, the threatening element was not "mist-ical" at all. Believe it or not, it was....GIANT MAN-EATING BUGS!!!! OH MY GOD!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ