Loquacious, ersatz, misanthropic. Don't bother.

Rating: 3/10 (20 August 2015)

The Mist
Not sure how this movie received so many positive reviews. Even critic reviews were generally positive. Well, I beg to disagree. Here is what I found problematic with it (SPOILERS!):
1. Way too much useless dialog. It's a staple of Steven King books to feature crazy holy-rollers. Apparently, Darabont felt the need to include King's novella-length religious screeds in full in the script. It not only completely destroys the pacing of the film, but is as grating as it is boring to have to listen to. We get it--she's a crazy bible-thumper. Do we need to listen to her insane rantings every five minutes for minutes on end for the entire duration of the film? Seriously--do we?
2. Could the people behave any more stupidly? Turn generator on to open garage door. Shut off generator. Tentacles grab the guy by the door. Turn generator back on and close garage door on said tentacles? NO! Stand there for five minutes while the tentacles eviscerate the man, and only once he's been dragged out into the mist do you figure it's a good time to restart the generator and close the door.
There are creatures in the mist, says some dude. I don't believe you, says another dude. Bring out a piece of the alien tentacle you chopped off to prove it to him? NO! Present NONE of the evidence that is readily available to convince him that he should not go out into the mist...and thus, he goes out into the mist...and gets eaten.
Giant insects are pounding against the plate glass windows. Oh-- they're attracted to the lights, you deduce. Therefore, turn off all the lights? NO! Turn ON the brightest lights so that the insects-- and their pterodactyl-like predators--know exactly where to go. By no means ever tell anyone to turn off those lights--just leave them on while your safe haven gets overrun by giant bugs and pterodactyls!
Go into the pharmacy and find people strung up to the walls in cobwebs. Giant spiders emerge and start shooting acidic spider web at you, while taking the weapons right out of your hands. Run away? NO! Stand there looking terrified until enough people are killed by the acidic spider webs, and, only after you feel that the death toll is sufficient should you decide that it's probably a good time to run for your life.
3. The CGI is awful. Unless it's for an ironically made movie for SyFy, there is no reason for CGI to look so cheap in the year 2007.
4. Dark, eff-ed up ending. I'm all for dark twists, but King's misanthropy shines through here with what happens at the end. If it weren't for all the faults above, the ending might have hit me with some sense of gravitas. As it was--i.e., being a B horror flick--the ending felt simply gratuitously macabre. Needlessly killing children is not pop horror cinema; it is simply derangement, masquerading as depth.
On the plus side, I found the acting surprisingly solid all around. But it wasn't enough to save this stinker for me. I cannot in good conscience recommend this movie to anyone, even those looking for an easy-viewing popcorn flick.