Stephen King is so rich.

Rating: 1/10 (29 March 2008)

Stephen King did it again. Within 20 minutes the mystery is over and you start seeing giant tentacles and goat-spiders everywhere. And who turns out to be the real monster? Humans!!!! WOAH! We're such a bad race. The only good part is when Tom Jane shoots his whole family in the head (including his ten year old son) to spare them from the monsters, only five minutes before the army shows up to save everyone. I especially enjoyed hearing people in the theater laughing when this happened, in the bootlegged copy I watched. I'm so glad I didn't pay to watch this tripe. Keep it up Stephen King, when will we get to see your killer lamp blockbuster? Or the pack of gum that chews you? Will it be the army's fault again? Or a terribly obvious supernatural force? Or BOTH??? Just don't forget to include one of your contrived morals about the duality of the human spirit, and the monsters in all of us. You should have sprung for a thousand typewriting monkeys, instead of just one. ooooOOOOOOOoooooH!