Boring, predictable, formulaic, juvenile nonsense

Rating: 1/10 (18 June 2017)

This will probably be the shortest review I shall ever write... I can't think what made me watch this last night, but I know if I don't review it right now, it will fade completely from my memory (not a bad thing), as it has, quite simply, not a single thing to recommend it (it's not even so bad it's good)... I only hope I remember not to watch the next instalment (yes, as has been mentioned by other reviewers, this is the first in a trilogy-Hollywood's latest ploy in parting you from as much money as possible-subdividing stories that have simple plots that could be dealt with quickly and efficiently, into several movies that contain mainly filler, irrelevant subplots, and, especially in this case, pages of utterly inane and pointless dialogue)...
This is obviously taking advantage of the success of the 'Mockingjay' series, but has none of the quality of cast, spectacle, decent effects, nor dark, serious back-plot of those films... Bad as they were, they were all infinitely better than this...
Every actor was awful (where did they find them), even the usually reliable Patricia Clarkson, who makes a brief appearance at the end, and whom I re-saw recently in 'Vicky Cristina Barcelona'-she should be ashamed of herself for 'phoning in her performance, but it at least illustrates the point that the blame for this travesty should lie squarely on the shoulders of the director, Wes Ball. Most of his work has been in TV, and I suggest he returns there, where he can do less damage... The SFX were so-so, some of them shown on such a dark screen it was difficult to make anything out... In an age of CGI, it's hard to make a mess of this aspect of film-making, and yet this crew succeeded...
But the 'plot', that's my main gripe-it just made no sense whatsoever-riddles with holes and illogicities-too many to list here-a group of boys, in an isolated community, would not simply turn to farming the land and following rules set down arbitrarily by one of their number-they would constantly squabble, argue and fight for supremacy and their own point of view-form gangs and alliances, question anybody's right to command, lie, steal and cheat-remember 'Lord of the Flies', or the feral tribe of children in 'Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome'?.. Or even, dare I mention it the Hunger Games themselves?.. They smacked of the truth-this is just a modern-day piece of PC propaganda (let's get along and love each other-only not in the physical sense, because...)-I know it was written for the teenage/young adult market, but it's just so out of kilter, it felt awkward-or did for some of the time, because I fell asleep for 20 mins., woke up, and realized I hadn't missed a single thing... Says it all.really...
So, rather than watch this steaming pile of ordure, or either of its sequels, turn off the TV and watch some paint drying instead-you'll find it more entertaining and less frustrating, and you can thank me later...
Wasn't so short after all...