More Of The Same

Rating: 5/10 (9 October 2010)

If 'The Matrix' was a nerdgasm, and 'The Matrix Reloaded' another nerdgasm, 'Revolutions' is what happens after the 'gasm - but without that sense of satisfying warmth. It's floppy, disappointing, and with a hint of recrimination.
Neo and the gang are whizzing about in their black macs as usual. Mr Smith is doing his sunglasses 'n' suit routine. They're still flying about fighting. The sentinels are still on the rampage. There's so many special effects that you can't take 'em all in at once, which is pointless. And the script - ah; the script, more verbal hokum. In short; it's become a parody of itself.
The original deserved its reputation for ingenuity and special effects. But that was it. The franchise really didn't have anything else to offer. But those Hollywood moguls can't help themselves. If they make a fortune; there just have to be sequels. They have to squeeze the tube out completely. Even if the result is tack.
We've seen it with the 'Alien' franchise; we've seen it with the 'Terminator' franchise; 'Halloween', 'Friday 13th', 'Predator', and so on. Looking back, I don't think I could discern one 'Matrix' from another in my memory. They're all just a collective gloomy continuum. Thank heavens Carpenter left his 'Thing' as just a stand-alone classic.
I'm sure there are nerds out there who can manage a third erection. Well; not me. The first two just weren't that good. No; I'll have a whisky instead.
Don't play with yourselves too hard - you might go blind.