Heres hoping for an origami unicorn somewhere

Rating: 4/10 (12 November 2003)

roll up roll up for the fesvtial of films that screwed a great movie series for you. Beginning in the 1930s we have ABBOT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN. Moving to the 80's we have HIGHLANDER 2 : THE QUICKENING followed by THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS. Onto 2 not classic superhero movies SUPERMAN 4 : THE QUEST FOR PEACE and BATMAN FOREVER. And before I move onto MATRIX REVOLUTIONS i'd just like to namecheck ALIEN3, THE AVENGERS and PEARL HARBOUR just for a sense of completeness. All the above movies kill the original material so dead that it is years before you re-discover an interest in them and wonder what turned you off them do much.
Such was the build in in RELOADED, interesting new characters, clever plot twists and great action, that is is crushing to find that in REVOLUTIONS it was actually all going NOWHERE. The new characters were just padding and the great plot twists are forgotten. The ambiguous ending? haha. The multi-dimensional dialogue and premise that had serious philosophical papers written on it vanishes in REVOLUTIONS to be replaced by PEARL HARBOUR with robots. Its mystifying actually. I thought I'd dreamed it when the credits rolled.
In THE MATRIX you are so involved you want to jump into the screen and fight Agent Smith yourself. In REVOLUTIONS several people I was watching with were actually rooting for Agent Smith at the end! (A lousy action sequence BTW - a climatic fight that does not come close to any of the fights in the first movie)
First two movies ended with pounding entirely appropriate Rage Against the Machine music over the final credits - the REVOLUTIONS does not and it would be entirely out of place if it did such is the change of tone -REMs Shiny Happy People would be more in tune. After my constant moaning about the Ewok moments at the start of RELOADED someone asked me after if it was as bad as RETURN OF THE JEDI. Well actually I think REVOLUTIONS is quite a bit worse than PHANTOM MENACE..
In ending I would plead with MATRIX fans to avoid REVOLUTIONS like the plague - its not an utter disaster (Monica Bellucci's t*ts are ok) but it does make everything remotely connected to it seem a lot worse.
On a plus note, copies of ANIMATRIX and ENTER THE MATRIX will be v heavily discounted over the next year or so and are well worth picking up. ENTER THE MATRIX can be a bit ropy in places but also great fun and most of ANIMATRIX is pure class. Watch them instead and make your own ending up.
Matrix scores - Before seeing Revolutions THE MATRIX ***** ANIMATRIX **** ENTER THE MATRIX *** THE MATRIX RELOADED ****
After seeing Revolutions THE MATRIX **** ANIMATRIX *** ENTER THE MATRIX * THE MATRIX RELOADED **
Finally there is one persistant nagging doubt - one of the US reviews said "How can something that started so cool end up so dorky?" and it does seem v odd that something that promises so much intelligent thought can end up looking so almost willfully stupid. I half suspected BLAIR WITCH 2 to be purposefully terrible as part of some fiendicously clever ploy to lull the audience into a false sense of security (it wasn't).
Here's hoping - please god - that there is a hidden clue somewhere in MATRIX REVOLUTIONS which, like the origami unicorn in BLADE RUNNER, turns the whole plot of this movie on its head and reveals the incredibly cheesy dialog and hilarious death scenes (of characters you once really cared about) to be obvious theatrical panderings to another level of Matrix inmates..