So... who wrote the cheesy fanfic?

Rating: 1/10 (6 November 2003)

I kept waiting for the outlined heads of Tom Servo, Crow, and Mike to come in from the right side of the screen. Mystery Science Theater would have a field day with the dialogue in this.
My friends and I went to the theater expecting very little, based on the second movie. We hoped to be entertained, have some fun, but had no hope in anything of blast-me-away quality, or even anything good.
We were entertained-- like the rest of the audience, we were laughing at how sappy the dialogue was, and how incredulous these characters had become in their shallowness. "The Scene" (discussed more than once in comments here) between Trinity and Neo was beyond belief in its sap quality. I've read better romantic X-Files fanfics written by teenage girls than this. One of my friends coined it best-- "Excuse me, hi.. Neo? Yeah... could you wiggle one of those poles a bit so we can get this scene over with and get through the rest of the movie? Thanks."
I have to be reminded why Morpheus or Trinity are even in this movie- what exactly do they *do*? What purpose do they serve? Scenes that could evoke horror in human beings-- the fields of humans being grown (so emphasized in first movie as an image that haunted Morpheus) could have added such impact. But they're barely seen in the distance, and reactions from Neo and Trinity are negligible at best.
I could care less about any of the other characters. To be honest, I didn't know the names of the humans of Zion as I left the theater.
There was nothing to like, nothing to relate to.
Sure, some of the graphics were fantastic, and at times even beautiful to watch-- but I didn't come to the movie to watch a lot of amazing CGI graphics. I can get that with video games at my house these days.
It's sad, because I enjoyed the first movie on so many levels. Those levels are completely gone with this movie.
What a waste of my sleep time last night.
2/10. (one point for the CGI)