How can so many people be so WRONG??

Rating: 1/10 (11 November 2003)

After seeing it at the cinema, I logged onto the IMDB website yesterday and found nothing but good reviews of The Matrix: Revolutions. Oddly, a lot of people were praising it's subtle use of symbolism and it's great script and story. A few went so far as to say that in concluding it the way that they did, the Wachowski brothers had made an almost perfect trilogy raising poignant philosophical, cosmological and theological questions such that it could be regarded almost as a contemporary version of The Bible.
One guy even said that the battle sequence was better than any war movie he had ever seen and that Saving Private Ryan couldn't even compare to how wonderfully gritty it was! Were you people watching the same movie?
Could people this deluded really be walking the earth? If so, how is possible for people so stupid to have survived to an age where they can type without having first been killed by choking on a mobile phone or batheing in petrol whilst lighting a cigarette, or even testing the trigger of a shotgun whilst simultaneously licking a spec of dust from the inside of the barrel. The only positive thing I could think to say about this movie, is that the money that these people spend on Matrix merchandise, DVD's etc, is money that they will not spend on food or heating, giving rise to a small chance that they may die of pneumonia or starvation and thus incrementally raise the average IQ of the rest of the globe.
I know I'll be accused of being picky as really it was only lacking in a few areas, such as script, story, acting talent, consistency, and any reason not to get up and walk out of the cinema utilising the opportunity to moon the screen with contempt on departure. It appeared that each character had only one line that they kept repeating, but which the Wachowski Brothers brilliantly and subtly altered each time. "It'll never work godammit!!" then later... "Godammit it'll never work" - Genius.
I'm going to try very hard not to mention the veritable treasure trove of movie cliché's that the brothers must've raided when writing the 'script', other than to point out that at one point I went over 20 mins without hearing a single line of dialogue that didn't make me laugh with utter disdain.
Even the wardrobes were bad (in The Matrix?!!). I mean, morpheus' Casio dealer outfit from reloaded was bad enough, but I almost walked out if the Odeon when I saw the Merylvingyn dressed up like a satanic Harry-Hill surrounded by a group of rejects from the Slipknot-gig that was apparently occurring across the road during filming. This movie is so terrible it makes me want to go out and buy a thesaurus just so I can come up with words that will adequately describe it, but then the majority of people who went and seemed to enjoy it would fail to understand such language, so I'll keep it simple.
The Matrix revolutions is bad...... Very, VERY, Bad.