Ok, are you ready for this? *SPOILERS*

Rating: 1/10 (8 November 2003)

Right-o. Just got back from watching this, and let me tell you, what a waste of a Saturday night, not to mention money.
Let me start off by saying that I thoroughly enjoyed "The Matrix" and was quite happy with the way it ended. I was reluctant to see "Matrix: Reloaded", and in fact protested going, until I received complimentary tickets to that opening night. Having seen THAT, and being put off by SO many reasons, I was extremely hesitant to go to this one. My roommate convinced me to go, as he had put together a group of 7 people, and we all went, and I was hopeful, but not convinced that it would be worth the time.
That being said, of the 7 of us, more than once, 4 of us came up with "Star Wars" related jokes at precisely the same time, and comments were shuttling back and forth our row. The amount of un-originality was reprehensible, and a massive disappointment to us all. I was hoping for some closure that was not attained in "Reloaded", which was a master marketing ploy on the production's end, "Keep them coming back for more" all over again. Sequel suicide.
The amount of impossibilities presented to us were too many to suspend disbelief for, as a lot of them were, "Let's see if we can do THIS effect!" and proceeded to do so, without regards to storyline. Trinity's dying scene was not entirely unexpected, but the length of it was. Literally: "I've waiting so long to tell you how much I wanted to tell you how much I love you, and I waited too long, too long," etc. ad nauseum. Not surprisingly, I was whispering to my neighbor, "Die, already!!" When finally dead, a round of applause rose from the audience, and catcalls and such were provided to place a point on my sentiment.
A word to any who appreciate battles: Strategy! Some of the ideas were so painfully obvious, we were reciting the next few minutes to each other, and at one point, "Hell, I could write a better sequence than this" was mentioned. Some basic strategies of both offense and defense were simply too easy to be overlooked, however, they were. I call to order: sentinels. Once past the dome's hole, they merge into a flowing, snake-like form, that then proceeds to direct a single blast, probably to overwhelm enemies in numbers. This was visually stunning, no argument there. Pure eye candy. The behavioral pattern we've seen in sentinels is that they attack as a bunch of individual units, each trying to tear it's way, for instance, into a hovercraft. Why the sudden (psychological??) change? In fact, I'd think it the other way around. When presented with multiple targets, spread your forces, harder to strike at, and a better chance that the enemy will be overwhlemed. Enough on that.
Defense? Mechwarriors to the rescue! Whether they be BattleBots, Mechwarriors, or some really souped-up battle suits, COVER THE PILOTS! afford them SOME sort of protection, even if it doesn't do much but give the pilot a false sense of security! Again, visually stunning, I'm sure it was very difficult to create a lifelike situation there, but pointless. Enough on THAT.
"Star Trek"'s classic "Red Shirt" syndrome was highly active, and you Trekkies will know what I mean. How many characters were we introduced to, with the immediate obvious reaction that they are going to die VERY soon. To name a couple, the "medic" on the Logos, dies at the hands of Bane (Ag. Smith), and the "tough girl" Charra, were some simple choices to take out, so there WOULD be some intimate human casualties, not to mention the unknowns that were demolished, exploded, snatched by sentinels, etc.
Are you still reading? Have I captured your interest? Well, I shall go on.
One serious offense to my sensibilities, and apparently to others as well, was that if inside the Matrix, a speeding bullet is dodgeable, how come physical blows aren't? This has sat uneasily with me since Matrix 1, and has yet to really make sense, especially since Smith is changing reality inside, what is to prevent him, or the guards outside the Merovingian's club. If you can walk on the ceiling, or fly through the air, what's to prevent you from using the same "force" (hint: Star Wars reference! Again!) to obtain a weapon, instead of back-flipping your way across the middle of an enemy-infested room?
Smith's assimilation of everyone was again, Star Wars-ish, "Borg time!" Apparently, when he grabbed everyone, he obtained their knowledge and capabilities. Does that work? A virus takes over, and re-writes the software to do its own agenda, thereby creating identical Smithies, who, by the way, blown to Smith-ereens. (Pardon my pun, but I just heard you groan.) If reality is malleable, and to a great extent at that, why not mess it up more? Nope. Software apparently has physical constraints. My roommate said, "Hey, forget guns, create an energy weapon with sufficient blast radius to be inescapable." To which I replied, "Forget that, bring in the sun!" (ref. James Bond: Die Another Day).
Seriously, if you're reading this, go to bed already. It's late. Don't trust my opinion, go see the movie, and THEN agree with me. But by then, the great corporation will already have your hard-earned cash. If you DO trust me, wait until you can rent it, and enjoy (or NOT!) in the privacy of your own home, so that after it's over, you can yell and scream about it, and NOT get harassed by others outside the theater, like I did.
That's my rant on the subject. Hoped you enjoyed it. I mean the rant, not the movie. :)