Burn Em Alive

Rating: Null/10 (7 December 2003)

!!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Well, at least now we all know why the Wachowskis' chose to have a no publicity clause written into their contracts. Probably because they knew that the public stoning they would've received for dishing up this mangled rubbish would have been brutal - and more than well deserved.
But there are bigger issues at hand than the public executions I plan on holding. In the first film, riddles and cryptic clues were left sprinkled about the movie for us to find. The dialogue was clever and, as in most good movies, made us think. References to Baudrillard and other post modern thinking were not rammed down our throats (and, in fact there is a reference to Baudrillard removed from the shooting script of the this film), they were tucked away in remote corners of the movie, like a puzzle for us to solve. There were biblical references, eastern philosophy and so much other wonderful thinking - but out of all that, came an uncluttered, well thought out and brilliantly realised piece of work.
Then the second film came crashing onto the scene.The budget was bigger and with it, the scenes became more elaborate. The movie, for the most part, ended up being pretty linear, until the end - when the Architect cast doubt on everything we had come to believe as true. The dialogue was, in itself fairly convoluted, and the Brothers chose to talk us through many of the central themes explored in the film - but there were themes. And we were thinking.
I went to see the concluding chapter of this trilogy last night. Neo was in Mobil Ave, in limbo. Come on. 'Neo' was a clever play on words, but that? Everything to do with the Frenchman, the Twins, Persephone and the club scene - aside from both the Keymaker and Neo being held captive by the Mere-however-you-spell-his-name added nothing whatsoever to the overall story. But, like everything, the story becomes repetitive: Another anagram, another Smith, another bullet time scene, another Frenchman captivity scene, another dance scene, another... another... another...
But you see, we're stupid. That's why we need to have the cross of light emblazoned across Neo's chest - just in case we don't get the point. Where the dialogue - although more often than not badly executed - was clever and intelligent in both the first two movies, here it just became plain weak. "I never finished my training" - "Neither did I", "I did that for Neo", " What's it going to be Merv?" and so on and so on and so on. On it goes.
My brother and I had discussed possible endings for the Matrix trilogy a long, long time ago, before the release of Reloaded, and one of the most appealing had been a crucifixion type scene. But like this? Surely the Wachowski Brothers couldn't have used Agent Smith as an easy out in ending the film. It felt like the reason the Brothers had built the Agent up over the last two movies was to give them an out. And that felt more like cheating than anything else. I suppose it could be construed as deep and meaningful that one side story (Merv , we'll call him) dropped away, while another (Agent Smith) became so crucial to the outcome of the film. I don't buy that though. It just doesn't sit well.
There is some wonderfully rendered imagery throughout the film. And we are lucky to have it. But there is some God-awful writing and pointless scenes too. We'll ignore the wooden, plank-like acting for the time being. That's Keanu. Pied Piper Keanu. Because in this film he led a whole host of other actors and actresses down the more often traveled path of bad acting. The icing on the cake being Carrey Anne Moss' dying speech. Her long, long, oh so long dying speech. I know I couldn't have done any better. But then I'm not paid to.
I think we could be kind enough to strap the two brothers into those Zion war machine outfit things before we start the execution. After all, they offer no protection whatsoever. That's like building a tank with a Fiberglas body. A species stupid enough to build something that fragile to fight a sentinel army in deserves to get wiped out. Plug me back in - I want my steak.
When I left the cinema I wasn't thinking. And that was a bad sign. I'm not sure if the Brothers Grim were either.
Anyway, it's just a movie. A movie I didn't really like. Why? Because I chose not to.