Everything that has a beginning has an end (thankfully)

Rating: 1/10 (5 November 2003)

Warning ** SPOILERS ** Warning **SPOILERS ** Warning ** SPOILERS ** SPOILERS ** DIRECTLY BELOW AND THROUGHOUT WHOLE REVIEW ** SPOILERS
I've just seen this film within the last hour or so. Wow! At the end of reloaded i was left thinking...how did neo stop the sentinels? How did agent smith escape to the 'real' world? I thought of many possible answers, a matrix within a matrix, the humans actually keeping the machines in control...this film excelled and came up with an explanation that i hadn't even thought of, Neo is magic. What a twist! I never saw that one coming, and to top it off so is agent Smith. I almost choked on my cheese covered nachos! How did they come up with that, this beats all films as best...twist...ever. I was on the edge of my seat during the fight in the city, thankfully none of the main characters were in much peril (they were out pod racing) so i was spared some grief but i'd grown fond of 'the kid' and the 'shouty guy' and the 'skinhead lady' during the 30 seconds or so screen time they'd had prior to the battle and i really really cared if they lived or died.
And at the end there was a rainbow thing in the sky and i was like...that's totally cool dude...cos rainbows are like my favourite refraction of light through a dense medium weather effect (next to mirages) but also it showed me that everything was going to be alright (just like real rainbows). And like i can't wait for matrix four cos like the war's only a truce and neo isn't dead (maybe) so like he could come back and do kung foo and smith could come back again, it would so awesome, he could fight like 100000000000000000 agent smiths at once!
I'm sorry, this film has actually lowered my IQ significantly, only time will tell if this is permanent, in short a turgid piece of cinema. It also steals all its good ideas from early Brian De Palma films, Brian first came up with the idea of silly clothing, unrealistic dialogue and sexy dancing being watched through a telescope from across the valley