bad bad bad

Rating: 3/10 (27 May 2003)

Man, this movie STUNK! It's the worst big sequel since Star Trek V, or King Kong Lives. It's boring, the music is bad, the fx are cheesy, there's no story, the characters never shut up, there's nothing LESS exciting than a slow motion action sequence... and it all goes on WAY TOO LONG! Every action scene seems twice as long as it should be. The CGI looked as phony as the new Star Wars movies, where you can actually see the stars' faces superimposed over digital bodies. Then when the folks of Zion started gyrating and humping to techno music while Neo and his babe made out, I had to laugh. It was right out of the 10 Commandments orgy sequence. All the Zion stuff looked like Star Trek meets Waterworld, and all the gratuitous action stuff looked like a Jerry Bruckheimer movie, like the Bad Boys II trailer we saw before the film even started. And the story? What story? That's what made the first Matrix stand out - Neo's journey from hacker to hero. Here it's all about how cool the phony CGI looks while the characters pose in sunglasses. What a complete mess. The fact that it was so boring adds insult to injury. I'll skip Revolutions and watch the original again.