Suffocating under the weight of its own self importance.

Rating: Null/10 (7 June 2003)

I break the film down like this - extremely simple minded plot supported by essentially two or three key special effects scenes, one being the incredible highway chase scene, and a whole lot of metaphysical mumbo jumbo B.S. filler. Sprinkled in with this is every martial arts move from the original exploited to the nth degree to the point of absurdity, and way past the cheese point of no return. And what of Keanu's love interest, Trinity? She looks old enough to be his mom, or eldest sister. This guy is "the one", and could have any virtual, or real, nookie he could dream of. Yet, he's got to settle for an old butchy looking, leather clad lady who should "download" the boob-job program.
So yeah, this was not the Matrix II I had been expecting. While I would not go as far as saying Matrix Unloaded was totally boring, it dragged in many parts, and was generally inferior in almost every way, save special effects, to the first film. And all the mumbling and rambling about fate and choice was overkill. Fate, fate, fate, and more discussions of fate. Why don't they just call the film "The Fate-ridden Matrix"? And who knew that Zion could be so utterly uninteresting? Though you gotta love the dancing scenes in the caves of Zion - it looked like MTV Spring Break Zion.