Matrix Regurgitated

Rating: 2/10 (20 May 2003)

I really wanted to enjoy this movie, but the sad truth is that 2 hours of my life and $8 are gone to this abomination. The first Matrix movie asked "What is the Matrix?" After watching this one, I ask "Who the H*** cares?" There was absolutely no story, and all of of the drawn out CGI Kung-Foolery can't cover that up. The overacting was painful to watch, especially when they're spouting out such hokey dialouge so horribly written that it makes Jar Jar Binks look like Shakespeare. Burdoning the film with all of this philosophical mumbo jumbo and technobabble is supposed to make them sound smart, sophisticated, worldly, worth to be saved from the machines. Guess what, it doesn't work. Zion was so irritating, I want to see the machines destroy it. The muddy rave was cheezy, and the tacked on sex scene was hardly sexy. The set piece of the film is a 14 minute car chase that felt like 41 minutes, and more than anything else it was boring. All the fights are boring because you know Neo is going to win. Maybe I want more out of my entertainment than thoughtless fake looking eye candy. The "bullet time" effect that was so innovational for 1999 has been done to death through parody and tribute that now it looks old. The "cliffhanger" drove the final nail into the coffin, enough for me not to care about Revolutions in November. It's too bad a good movie has to be polluted with subpar sequels. It's also too bad that Son Of The Beach isn't on anymore, their Matrix parody was silly but would have been a much better sequel than this thing.