AN UNEXPECTED CAMP CLASSIC

Rating: Null/10 (22 May 2003)

The definition of camp: a film comprising of risible acting, risible dialogue, bad plot structure and awful, strange use of music.
THE MATRIX RELOADED = CAMP WITH A CAPITAL C.
And who would have thought it? The broposkis made a landmark film back in 99 with the original. It was flawless. People regarded it as a 'cult' classic. I'm sorry but the term 'cult' does not apply here. Save that for blue brothers, breakin', flashdance, footloose or whatever, basically films that have a charm deep rooted in quirkiness and have dated in the coolest possible way, that have gained a fan base overtime. The matrix was a classic film the same way that the godfather was a classic film. Of course they are different, but they were pushed to the limit of greatness within its own genre, and that's what makes them great films.
Enter matrix reloaded. One question you guys, what the hell happened? Music, editing, acting, pacing, sense of wonder, sense of awe, perfection of craft in the script, so what does that leave? Oh yeah. SFX. We still have those. And kung fu. Too much bloody kung fu.
The neo from the end of the original hasn't advanced. Hes no longer god like. He is the neo who was trained by morpheus to do kung fu, has polished up a bit, and can now fly. That's just sheer laziness in terms of character progression, and as a result the film suffers from what could've/ should've been. Instead we get something..quite different.
The MR is the last thing anyone with half a brain cell and the slightest hint of anticipation ever expected. Its as if the simulation for the world of the matrix has become a porno movie with sexually experienced and talented actors taking place of the real actors (and you kind of expect Ron Jeremy to board the nebuschar or whatever and ask trinity if she likes anal). Except its all foreplay and you never see trinity (oh, oh oh, and I would pay 10 times the amount to see monica belucci with the things like this) nekkid. It's this kind of approach that WILL divide audiences and critics and WILL be a cult classic. Ok so its different from the original, its bound to be. But the acting is like fleshgordon (or porno), the dialogue like ulysees, or starcom or animalympics or something like that (or even porno), and the underground dancing scene in zion, if anyone here remembers, like fraggle rock (or, dare I say it, porno). I could almost hear the theme tune 'drag your cares away, worries for another day...', amongst the truly crap 90s techno and imagine one of those green little things get p***** that red ate his little glass thing he spent ages working on. Either that or the music video to duran duran's 'wild boys'. And what you get is some rumpin pumpin betwixt this, which makes it seem even more strange. I DO understand the significance of this scene, its just that its cheesier than a cheesecutters cheese slicer after its cut the cheesiest of cheeses on the cheese market. In France.
And in one scene I could've sworn I heard the drum n bass 'cover version' of sesame street in one of the kung fu scenes. Either that or it was sonic the hedgehog or marioland or something. I just hope to god I'm wrong when I see it a second time (it was probably just linkin park).
People compare this to the phantom menace. Actually, I'd say its more like attack of the clones, as it's not COMPLETELY flat, and it's marginally better. It's a pretty bad film that has some cool scenes. Comes to think of it, This is like batman returns going onto batman and robin. But that I could understand. Joel Schumacher is a fruity, campy man who saw this franchise as his big chance of displaying fetishist desires of leather and rubber costumes (GO TO IT MACHY, YA BIG FRUIT!). The matrix reloaded is made by the same directors. Go figure.
This film had the most interesting effect on its audience that I've seen in a while. People just walking in and out of the cinema, casually complying with the rules of nature, not caring if they miss anything. That's because the first half is like a TV movie and people felt right at home (the last half, thankfully, is a lot better, and NEARLY has some of the intrigue you got in the whole of the first one). X men 2 didn't have that effect on its audeince. Lord of the rings, despite being longer film(s), didn't either. And the first Matrix sure as hell didn't. The reason is that those films had a coherent narrative and made its subject matter seem interesting. I find it so bizarre that the bloposkis, after demonstrating with such deftness with the original, did such a cut n' paste job. At the end of the day, films divide critics into love and hate categories. A personal opinion based on personal taste. But narrative structure is universal and compulsive to what makes the film easy to sit through and digest. If there is a problem of narrative, its there and no opinion can divide that, and as a result the film can and will- suffer.
But, the thing is, everything I've said so far is not actually criticism. This IS a cult classic because of how it is and I love this sort of thing. I just never expected it from a matrix sequel. The bloposkis have screwed up the chance of making one of the best trilogies of all time BIG time. And that's no mean feat. I love this film dearly and cannot wait to see it again, because I love films that are so bad there good. It works better than those two sh** star wars films because its adult oriented and there still remains a sense of intrigue of what the hell is going on. Its hilarious in places, sometimes intentional, sometimes, as with the zion/rumpin pumpin scene, un-intentional. But you do get the impression that the campiness was deliberate. The final shot of the film contains a very abstract revelation (that wont be revealed until revolutions is out) the music goes -DERR DERRR!! Fade to black. I'm not kidding. And that sums this up pretty well, ridiculous and confusing.
Put the matrix reloaded into a blender and the ingredients would be- the phantom menace, batman and robin, attack of the clones, flashgordon, bound (for the rump and pump) death race 2000, blade 2, remo williams: the adventure begins, fragglerock, plus anything with Ron Jeremy, Sarah Young or annabel Chongonem (minus the gratutious exposition), add a small pinch of the original matrix, = THE MATRIX RELOADED. And the result is one of the most 'interesting' sequels of recent memory.
Peter Jackson, you can rest easily, the holy trilogy moniker will be yours.