The Matrix De-Coded

Rating: Null/10 (7 January 2004)

I've been watching this movie for an hour now, and one thing is very clear.
The Matrix Reloaded is one big fat mess.
I don't know where to begin. There are two n' a half times as many characters, some who come and go so fleetingly (the "Kid", the woman at the dinner table who farts), and others who stay on screen much longer than necessary (Persephone's husband, the Twins).
"Mark my words, and mark them well. I have survived your predecessors, and I will survive you!" That's a typical piece of dialogue, this particular line being uttered by Persephone's husband, who's some mayor-type. The movie is filled to the brim with "Braveheart"-style yappin', yet it takes place in the future! Only Link, the phone-line operator of the Nebbecha-something, offers anything that can be remotely considered realistic dialogue, as he chats with his woman about her concern about his lengthy missions. But even he blows it with his "Yes, Sir! Understand, Sir!" (repeated like 50 times) to Morpheus. Even the council scene, where the leaders of Zion blab about the best course of action, doesn't help matters any. It's like the "council" scene out of The Phantom Menace!
The first Matrix was a gem. Everybody didn't wear sunglasses IN EVERY SCENE! The original had only infrequent fight scenes, not like this poop. Now, the Oracle's assistant, the Asian guy, fights Neo upon their introduction because "You don't really know someone until you fight them." HUH? The Matrix poo, I mean Matrix 2, is one big fight scene with butt-headed scenes inbetween to kill the time. Then you got the freeway fight scene. Look, there's only so many ways I can see a car flip over 16 times in slow-motion. And hey, wouldn't Neo's Mach 2 rescue of Morpheus and the Keymaster from the top of the truck break all of their bones? Right? NO REALISM! THE FIRST ONE HAD sorry - some sense of realism.
Even worse, there's the showdown in the NYC-type courtyard between Agent Smith and Neo. First they chat like two ol' guys who had a fender bender the day before. But aren't they rivals, you know, like the fight-to-the-death kind? And yet they have a nice long chit-chat. And what about the dialogue, then extended, winded, overbaked dialogue between the Keymaster, Morpheus, Neo, Niobi, and like four others, and they're all talkin' about breaking into the building. "314 seconds!" "Two minutes!" "Guard shift change!" Talk about confusing! Too many scene cuts, back pedaling, and other switcheroos. I was traumatized, and I can't talk about it anymore.
Here's some more sample screenwriting: Smith: "I want what you want... everything." Morpheus: "Would that include a bullet from this gun?" This is B-movie quality!
There are too many numbers to keep track of. 6 previous Matrixes, 314 seconds, 2 doors, 100 Agent Smiths, 24 hours before the machines attack, 3 hovercrafts... the number of bullets in Trinity's guns as she shoots while plummeting to her almost certain doom.
Then you got the Architect, who plain out sucks.
And worst of all, if Neo can stop bullets in midair just by raising his hand, take on Agent Smiths x 100, go supersonic, and do every other damn thing, then why can't he just save Zion and thus save the day?
I might be slow (it took me about half a dozen viewings to understand the first Matrix), but Matrix II is just beyond me. Inferior to the orginal. But it's good enough for me - to poop on!