at least Episode I had Darth Maul

Rating: 2/10 (19 May 2003)

i ask you, has there been a bigger dissapointment in the history of film?

SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
First off, how repressed these Wochowski brothers must be. A quarter of this movie was totally superfluous sex, overly sophomoric and gratutitous. Mad raving orgies (apparently only sexy 20 year-olds live in Zion), totally absurd choco cake orgasms, pointless "kiss me if you want the keymaker" scenes, and 4th grade humour about "her lipstick isn't on your lips"...even the final scene, which of course exactly replicates the final scene of the first film ("love conquers all"? gimme a friggin break), turns into an over-the-top deep throat kissing session....
they must have felt there wasnt enough in the first film
you have read it already, and it is 100% true....the movie is poorly written, overdone, and flat-out boring....if you aren't being put to sleep by 10 minute psycho-babble speeches about fate, control, choice, and causality, you're crying for the repetitive fight sequences to end...really, if i wanted existential dilemma, i would read nietzsche...
and would the "oracle" PLEASE just SHUT UP!
so, it's action you want? well you've come to the right place...except that EVERY single action sequence sucks....each one of them goes on for WAAYY too long, and they are all completely formulaic; after the first couple fights, you get a real feel for the direction and you actually BECOME Neo: you can predict EVERY SINGLE punch, kick, and slow-motion flip...and don't worry, there are plenty of those to go around...i swear, if they cut out even HALF the slow-mo effects in this movie, it would have only been 1 1/2 hours...repeat after me: slow-motion does NOT make fight scenes better!...compare any jet-li movie with a jackie chan movie if you dont believe me....
another huge problem? balance....they give us this huge Neo/smith fight sequence, followed (after an hour of boring dialogue) by a decent scene with Neo and the exiles....then how does the movie's action climax? with a SUPERIORLY boring fight sequence between an incredibly slow Morpheus and ONE agent....oh yeah, we get to see trinity get beat up by one for a while too...we deserve a better climax than that...
someone pass the chocolate cake...
what did i take from this movie? i take proof that once the Hollywood machine takes over, substance is replaced with sex, story with explosions, and intelligence is replaced with glowing dollar signs....save your money...or see X-Men 2 again....me? i wouldnt even watch this movie again if i flipped past it on cable...
ive wasted enough time....this movie was terrible...