Shoot me, I didn't like it

Rating: 5/10 (22 July 2003)

THE MATRIX / Starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne and Carrie-Anne Moss / Directed by Andy and Larry Wachowski / Written by Andy and Larry Wachowski / Rated R / **
The Matrix has now garnered it's own cult of teenagers and young adults all over the world. I admit that only discovering this little movie only months before the sequel, The Matrix Reloaded was due to come out. I rented the DVD not knowing what to expect. I knew the storyline but nothing too deep other than the most basic of information. I sat through the film's 136 minute running time, watching carefully. After the movie, I took the DVD out of my player, put it in it's case and walked out the door, remembering absolutely nothing. Ouch.
The Matrix is a science fiction tale of a computer program writer called Thomas Anderson AKA Neo (Keanu Reeves), who learns from a band of rebels that the world he lives in is a digital simulation. The world he sees, the world we see is in fact a virtual reality created by an entire race of machines to keep humans under control and giving those machines energy for them to survive. After learning the truth from the mysterious man known as Morpheus (Laurence Fishburne) and leather-clad, ass-kicker Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss), Neo is released from the virtual prison known as the Matrix and finally witnesses the real world. But there's something more to Neo than meets the eye: Is he possibly the One, the only person in all of mankind that can destroy the Matrix and free the human race? The answer? Probably.
The main source of entertainment in this movie are the fight scenes, which zip by like a six-year-old having a sugar rush. I admit that these fight scenes are spectacular, crafted with the most seamless special effects I have ever seen. There is a particularly impressive hand-to-hand fight between Keanu Reeves and Australian actor Hugo Weaving (Lord of the Rings) in a subway and even a more impressive one between Reeves and Laurence Fishburne in the first hour of the film, taking place in an old dojo. It was hard to believe that Keanu performed all of his fight scenes himself, or that he had the brains to remember the moves! Sure, pretty-looking fight scenes are abound in this film but that's where my investment in this film stopped dead.
The Matrix's fatal flaw is that there is not one likable or colorful character in all of the film's bloated 136 minutes. The only character that comes even remotely close to being likable is Carrie-Anne Moss' Trinity. All other characters are ultimately forgettable and not really worth caring about. Some characters just drove me out of my mind! I found most of the crew of the Nebachanezzar annoying and pointless. What's worse is that most of them have the worst dialogue of the whole movie. "Digital pimp hard at work!" Are the Wachowski's eighteen or something? I know this movie is marketed to teenagers as something "cool". In fact, I'm only fifteen years old and I didn't think the movie was all that "cool". Instead of "cool" I found it "cliched", "silly" and "lame". I admit, Keanu Reeves' character was decent and somewhat interesting considering the fact he didn't look like he could figure out what everyone is saying. You know a main character is not worthing giving a damn about when everyone around him must constantly explain things to him, often slowly. Actually, I found the whole movie to merely being an "introduction" to this concept. There WAS no story.
But alas, there is a saving grace and that is the new world unraveling before our very eyes, often with the most spectacular visual effects. They're not much of filmmakers, but the Wachowski's are certainly digital wizards, able to magically create dreams out of the latest of technology. The CGI used in the "real world" is particularly impressive, probably more impressive than most things out of that "other" big-budget release of 1999, called a little something like Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. But I found the Phantom Menace much more entertaining! Like Star Wars, there is never really a moment in this movie that special effects are not used. Sure, these special effects are great to look at, but a movie should not be reliant on special effects. That's why most indie films end up being some of the best movies of all time. They are about writing, directing and acting. Films like The Matrix are only made to show out the latest technology. Now make no mistake, I didn't watch this film expecting it to take home the Best Picture award from the Academy, but that's doesn't stop it from being disappointing.
Many people claim this film for being "deep" yet I see nothing "deep" about it at all. "There is no spoon." Yeah, I already remember Laurence Fishburne's character blabbing about that earlier in the film for immense amounts of time. And I hear Reloaded is just one big Philosophy 101 lesson! The philosophy found in this movie I think is trying to be subtle but in the end simply bogs the film down. I commend the Wachowskis for trying to take action films to another level, but maybe that just won't ever happen. The only movie that ever actually came close to being something more was 1991's Terminator 2: Judgement Day, which happens to be a much better movie than The Matrix, action film or not. And don't give me that "You just didn't understand it!" crap, because I understood the whole thing perfectly and believe me, there is nothing special about it.
I think the real thing that made The Matrix loved by millions of viewers is that it glorifies computer geeks and school nerds. The real problem with me is that I'm neither of those things. I guess that's why it never touched me, or the story just never moved me. Sure the action scenes are spectacular and the special effects are great to look at, but in my opinion, special effects should not drive the story. It should be the other way around. Combine that with one-dimensional characters and uninspired dialogue, there is nothing here to entertain me. A movie can be the greatest movie of all time but if it doesn't entertain, it does nothing for me. That's exactly the definition I would give The Matrix.