Matrix? More Like Weetabix!

Rating: 6/10 (25 June 2011)

I honestly do not understand why this "film" is so adored and praised like it's the next "Citizen Kane" (I personally hated "Citizen Kane" but would watch it over this!) Yes it does have some fabulous action sequences but they come thinly in once in a blue moon with no plot to actively engage in.
That's a good place to start actually. The plot. WHAT PLOT?! I think i must've gone down the rabbit hole whilst watching this because absolutely nothing made sense. Talk about style over substance! Right from the opening I didn't have a clue what was going on. So a man gets sucked down some gooey alien bladder and is told he's the next Jesus or something like that and that everything in the world we know is completely fake and is a computer programme called "The Matrix" and this "Neo" character is now in the real world that looks more like a rip-off of a "Terminator" set! Can we get real here please? Then there are some bad guys who i don't really get why are bad, but that they just go around wearing big wavy coats and stupid sunglasses indoors. Is this meant to be cool? Stick me in jeans and a T-Shirt any day of the week.
So we've covered the complete mess of a plot, I literally didn't know where anything was going next! Where are now? Who's he? Why is that happening? Are popular phrases I would use on the "Audio Commentary" for this load of... What shall I pan next? I don't have to think too hard because there are so many faults it's hard to pick. Kenau Reeves was rubbish as the main character and was far too moody to be likable. Then we've got some black man who acts like a prat 24/7 making "Neo" do stupid and pointless things like fight kung-fu and prat about in white rooms to add to some more confusion.
The action and special effects are really good but they need a plot to engage in to find them entertaining. I didn't know why they were fighting each other or why a certain thing was happening at all! Besides, the action sequences were very few and underwhelming to say the least.
Visually stunning? Not really, the cinematography on Coronation Street is more stunning and as were the special effects for the crazy tram crash. So maybe I'm being a bit harsh there but it's merely to outline the disgust I felt from this film, the ending left me thinking how anyone could like this "Terminator" wannabee.
It's unengaging, virtually unwatchable and with a plot more tangled than Hayley Croppers styled wig. Don't you tell how great "The Matrix" is.