Total Recall crossed with a Gap commercial

Rating: Null/10 (27 June 2001)

I was on my way to see this movie when my car died. It just shut off on the highway and started smoking, never to start up again. I really should have taken my car's warning on this one. I suppose I really should have known this would be a bad movie when I asked other people about it. They all said the same thing, "It was great. Absolutely amazing special effects." I would ask about the story. Not if it was any good, I just asked what it was. I would always get the same response, "The special effects were great."
When are we going to realize the difference between a movie being an excuse to do special effects (ex. Spawn), and special effects being a sorry excuse for a movie (ex. Twister and The Matrix). One is fun to watch regardless of the story, while the other is pure torture that even a 1976 Ford LTD knows is bad.
A bad or unoriginal story isn't what killed this movie. What killed this movie was the fact that it took itself so seriously. Anyone who has ever even known some one who knew some one who's done drugs has thought of this story line. What if I'm not really here? What if this whole world is just some sort of fantasy? PUT THE WEED DOWN!
And all the people who fancies themselves serious film connoisseurs, simply because they caught a couple Bible references in this waste of celluloid, should just give up, admit that Adam Sandler is their god and they will never have any useful contributions to society.
I do have to admit that I really enjoyed the Judas character played by Joey Pants. His 'ingnorance is bliss' comment just sums it all up. People watching this movie will think, "Hey, that guys a jerk. I certainly would rather live free than to think that everything is okay. That's why I see such wonderfully original films like this. That reminds me, I need to check the box office ratings in order to tell me what movie to see next." Irony is the coolest special effect of them all.