Dan Aykroyd meets Columbine

Rating: Null/10 (22 September 1999)

Early on, Agent Smith does a superb Blues Brothers Dan Aykroyd imitation, as he threatens Our Hero by intoning these immortal lines, "It seems that you've been living ... two lives. One life, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a RESPECTABLE SOFTWARE COMPANY. You have a social security number, pay your taxes, and you ... help your landlady CARRY OUT HER GARBAGE."
Imagine Dan drawing out the looong pronunciations in the capitalized words. And now Agent Smith steals the show by cracking his knuckles! Now he cracks his neck bones! Fear This, Keanu!
Later, the Trench Coat Mafia enjoys a vicarious Columbine carnage-fest as we are splashed with waves of hot ejected shell casings! Ahhh! More shell casings, please!! What great cinema!! Fill the screen with flying bullets and spent shell casings, oh! Yessss!!!!! Uhnnnnn, OH!! AhhhhhHH!!
At the very least, The Matrix is a much better film than Cannibal Holocaust, which I saw for the first time earlier in the day. Achh, the mechanical attack squids are breaking into my computer again!! /%$@# achh!!! $#CRASH!! *&$^#@!!!!