Tries so hard... misses the mark so badly...

Rating: 2/10 (4 November 2000)

I actually enjoyed this film the first time I saw it, but then I saw it a second time after listening to all the comments about how brilliant this film must be and how we must all worship it. I've never walked out on a film before, and that even includes Battlefield Earth and Wing Commander, but I walked out in the middle of trying to watch this one again. I've never seen a film that people try so hard to make out to be so much more than it really is. The worst part is the obssessive cult that has formed up around the film, telling us how great and visionary the directors are and how we should all worship them and blah blah blah...
Well gang, like the Region Coding Enhancement scheme, time and people's patience is going to catch up with this dreary film, and the results are going to leave the makers very red-faced. Just about every concept in this film is stolen, poorly executed, or both. I still laugh my guts out when Morpheus tries to tell us how human bodies produce so much energy when they consume at least that much in a day. Any nutritionist worth their salt could tell you that. The division of a digital future between evil robots and kind-hearted human beings was also done far better in Tron. And the sloppy use of the Christ Theme as a plot device doesn't even bear thinking about. When I first saw the film, I had never laughed so hard in my life. When I saw it on DVD, I'd never felt so insulted. Never have I seen a production crew with such over-inflated ideas about their achievements.
The characters are just plain boring, too. Keanu Reeves has all the acting ability of a stuffed toy, and yet he is the most interesting thing in the film. That's a worrying sign. Morpheus was all poses and zero credibility, Agent Smith was just an insult, and Trinity had to be one of the least watchable romantic interests since Teri Hatcher's awful performance in Tomorrow Never Dies. And was this film trying hard for some kind of record in speaking ****? Well, guess what? Their efforts succeeded big-time. Every man and his dog seems to be going on about how much better this film was than the last episode of Star Wars, but it is really more on a level with Star Trek.
Frankly, if this is the future of science fiction films, then I will happily stick with my copy of Plan 9 From Outer Space. At least Ed Wood had sincere intentions of a variety other than ripping off an army of suckers when he made that piece of ****! Zero stars. And don't blame anyone other than yourselves, Matrix fans, because this film is now the celluoid answer to MTV through your efforts.