Home Alone, but on Mars

Rating: 6/10 (15 January 2016)

I watched The Martian last night and just had to take 10 minutes to tell you how awful it was. It was like a remake of Home Alone, but on Mars. It felt like the script was written in about 3 hours, it had no structure and probably not even three acts – No intensity, no urgency. So predictable. Not one great performance, just two good ones from Benedict Wong & Chiwetel Ejiofor. Kristen Wiig was a joke. I couldn't have cared less about any of the characters. There were more attempts at comedy than drama. If anyone ever mentions this film in the same breath as 2001, Contact, Apollo 13, Interstellar, or Gravity – I will slap them in the face. And if Matt Damon wins Best Actor, I'll never watch another movie ever again. How this movie got nominated for Best Picture is beyond my level of comprehension. Even the special effects we're average! It's like they used the same footage from Red Planet with Val Kilmer for cryin' out loud! If you care about film and consider yourself a critic, watch it just to say you saw it, but that's all it's worth.