Myers Flails as a Chopak Wannabe in a Comic Misfire

Rating: 3/10 (22 October 2008)

Star and co-writer Mike Myers is far too clever to be dismissed entirely for a film burdened by his kitchen-sink approach to comedy. However, this 2008 film comes closest to making him downright intolerable despite a smattering of smart one-liners that barely save it from landing in the junk bin. The concept would seem ripe with possibilities as the film lampoons the commercial intentions of self-help gurus like Deepak Chopra, but Myers and his writing partner Graham Gordy appear more interested in bodily functions, gross-out humor, repetitive gags ("Mariska Hargitay"), Canadian in-jokes, and celebrity walk-ons rather than keep the satirical aspects focused enough to make a point. Unfortunately, first-time director Marco Schnabel simply lets the star and the rest of the lackluster cast flounder without lending a perspective that could have balanced the lowbrow shenanigans with the highbrow aspirations. As unsatisfying as the film is, I wonder if Judd Apatow could have saved this material.
The overextended plot revolves around self-help guru Maurice Pitka, who was born in America but raised in India. With his long hair and beard and traditional Hindu garb, Pitka is known as a second-rate Chopra, but he is aggressively looking for an opportunity to change that and get on the Oprah Winfrey Show. Enter Darren Roanoke, star player for the Toronto Maple Leafs, who goes into a scoring slump just as the team makes the Stanley Cup playoffs. Team owner Jane Bullard and coach Punch Cherkov seek out Pitka to help Roanoke reconcile with his wife Prudence, who has caused his beleaguered lack of self-esteem. She has decided to leave him for the conjugal joys to be had with Jacques "Le Coq" Grande, the goalie for the opposing Los Angeles Kings known for his elephantine endowment. Pitka espouses his radical "DRAMA" method of enlightenment to alleviate Roanoke's stress and lead him on a journey toward self-love. Apparently that's the only chance that the Maple Leafs have in winning the Cup. At the same time, Pitka realizes his goal to usurp Chopak is a hollow one when he becomes romantically drawn to the comely Bullard.
Myers may have gone to the well one too many times with his smarmy, overly self-aware performance as Pitka. What goodwill he generated as Wayne Campbell and Austin Powers has almost evaporated here. As Bullard, Jessica Alba is a pretty but unavoidably wooden foil to Myers, and her character's attraction to Pitka remains one of the film's bigger mysteries. Somewhat better is Romany Malco as Roanoke and Justin Timberlake as Grande, though neither is imposing enough to be particularly believable as professional hockey players. As a more verbal version of Mini-Me, Verne Troyer plays Cherkov in constant foul-mouthed agitation. The most embarrassing performance, however, belongs to a cross-eyed Ben Kingsley as Pitka's spiritual mentor, Guru Tugginmypudha. I doubt if any other Oscar winner has taken quite as discreet a fall from grace. On the other hand, I have to admit I liked the sitar revamp of Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" as the irrelevant opening theme, as well as Stephen Colbert's funny bits with Jim Gaffigan as the play-by-play commentators. But that's about it.
The extras are abundant on the 2008 DVD if you care to view them. First, there is a standard making-of featurette, "Mike Myers and The Love Guru - An Inside Look" that runs ten minutes with comments from Myers, Alba, Troyer, and Schnabel. There is a six-minute short, "One Helluva Elephant", showing how special effects specialist Ron Stefaniuk built an animatronic elephant and ostrich for the movie. More interesting is "Hockey Training for Actors" which has sports coordinator Mark Ellis explaining how the actors learned to play hockey. Rounding out the extras are eleven deleted/extended scenes, a four-minute blooper reel, a separate five-minute compilation of deleted takes with Colbert and Gaffigan (the best of the extras and even better than the movie), ten minutes more of general outtakes, and the original theatrical trailer.