The Love Guru  An Alright Bad Film

Rating: 5/10 (18 July 2008)

The Love Guru, directed by Marco Schnabel and co-written by and starring Mike Myers, is really just a bad movie that is good. I suppose that's like saying that a common cold is the best illness to have or that Scary Spice is the best Spice Girl because at the end of the day it's still a bad experience and something to forget.
Despite all the bad, make that very bad or even extremely bad, reviews for The Love Guru it's not as horrible as some people might think. For example, it's definitely better than Batman and Robin, Daddy Day Camp and Epic Movie (perhaps all put together) but worse than Semi-Pro, Jumper and You Don't Mess with the Zohan. And it is definitely worse than Austin Powers and Wayne's World by a long shot. The film does ask you the question throughout: should I be laughing with or at the jokes. The film certainly doesn't take itself seriously although at times some characters become thoughtful and for lack of a better word open up. Sometimes you don't know what you're doing, mainly what you're doing in the theater, but in the end you realize that it could be worse, much worse.
The plot centers around an American-Indian guru named Pitka (Mike Myers), the author of many self-help books and seminars, who dreams of making it big in America primarily through appearing on The Oprah Winfrey Show. He gets his chance when the Toronto Maple Leafs ice hockey team owner Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) and the team's coach (Verne Troyer) seek Pitka's help in curing the team's star love-sick player Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco). Roanoke's wife Prudence (Meagan Good) has recently left him for LA Kings goalkeeper Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake) who's "talents" are not limited to the ice rink. Pitka, aided by his Indian colleague Rajneesh (Manu Narayan), sees this as his one chance to hit the big time and appear on Oprah and ultimately emulate his idol Deepak Chopra.
Although on paper the plot seems quite involved and thought-out it's really just another failure in a long list. It's almost as if the film is merely a side project for all involved, something they shot on weekends, and that they have bigger and better things to do. Or is it that they are simply untalent and incapable in the first place. Verne Troyer is no Warwick Davis or Peter Dinklage and his role seems almost distasteful and offensive to his size. Jessica Alba again proves that although she might be a pretty face she cannot even delivery the most simplest of expression or emotion. The Love Guru adds yet another in a line of poor performances from her and sits soundly next to the likes of Fantastic Four, Good Luck Chuck, Honey and The Eye. It seems her only one good role to date was in Sin City, mainly because that film was directed by a credible and talented director in Robert Rodriquez. It really shows that good performances are usually in half due to the director guiding them. That's probably one of the reasons this film falls flat. Marco Schnabel has never directed a feature length movie and after this you'll wish he'd go back to school. After seeing The Love Guru you could say that one of the reasons Austin Powers was so good was because of its director Jay Roach, as it definitely takes more than a funny script to make a funny film. Some reviews have suggested that Justin Timberlake saves this film but my opinion is the opposite  he makes it worse. His comedic timing is terrible as is his accent. His Celine Dion-loving character is meant to be from Quebec (French-Canadian) but I'm not quite sure what he was trying to pull off  it was like a bad Borat impersonation that only your friends laugh at. That you can only asked yourself why one Sir Ben Kingsley, Knight of the Realm and more importantly Leading Actor Academy Award-winner is doing in this. I can only presume that perhaps he just felt like having a bit of fun. Also to mention, Rajneesh becomes incredibly annoying as Pitka's side-kick to such an extent that you feel like praying to the Devil himself that he be strike down. The supporting cast is quite good, mainly because they simply haven't got the screen time to affect them. These include Stephen Colbert and Jim Gaffigan, John Oliver, and Romany Malco does a better than expected job making him one of the few unhurt from the cast.
In all the blame has to go to Mike Myers. He clearly a victim of his own success from the likes of Austin Powers and even Shrek as he probably believes that anything he touches will turn to box office and critical gold. The genitalia jokes in this film are endless so much so that it was almost like Myers' was dared by a friend to make a comedy made up entirely of crotch orientated gags. I knew from nearly every review I had read prior to seeing this film that it was full of them but never knew the extent until viewing it for myself. I found one part as a perfect example, although quite early on in the movie it sums up the entire 90mins. When John Oliver's character walks into the room to meet Pitka, Rajneesh announces that Richard Pants as arrived to which Pitka responds "Ah yes, Dick Pants". Myers' constant references to his home country and his favorite hockey team (which leads him to appearing as himself) tend to get over-cooked as well.
In all there are almost endless new release films to choose from, both at the cinemas and on DVD, so The Love Guru should really be at the bottom of many people's list. This film will leave some disappointed and some really, maybe even extremely, disappointed. But note the key word that remains there: disappointed.