Yuck

Rating: 5/10 (2 July 2008)

Well, um.it's not as bad as it looks. But let's face it, it looks awful.
Myers portrays Guru Pitka, an American-born/Indian-raised new-age spiritualist. He strives to be the next Deepak Chopra. Chopra is his childhood friend and both Chopra and Pitka study under the same guru. In an early scene, Myers plays Pitka as a 12-year old in what has to be the creepiest usage of CGI since John Wayne was posthumously forced to shill for Coors. (But it could have been worseit could have been Coors Light.) Pitka is hired by the Toronto Maple Leafs' owner Jane Bullard (played by Jessica Alba) to help their lovelorn star player Darren Roanoke (played by Romany Malco) get his game face back so they can win the Stanley Cup. The rest of the movie exists primarily for Myers to riff on New Age platitudes and make dirty jokes.
Myers take on the Eastern-based philosophy is an interesting conundrum. He seems to simultaneously be making fun of it AND have a fondness/belief in it. The movie is a tad schizophrenic in this regard. It can be hard to tell whether Myers thinks this is all rubbish or if he has a deep abiding belief in material of this sort. Seeing as how the real Deepak Chopra makes a cameo in the film, I tend to think it's the latter. But if that's the case, the jokes undermining the philosophy seem out of place. And some of the jokes are actually quite biting. For instance, there is a running gag where Pitka has "profound" statements that spell out acronyms, all of which are quickly followed by a "TM" trademark. Surely Jesus, Allah and/or Buddah never trademarked their beliefs to ensure they profited from the spread of their message. So the implication in the joke is that Pitka (and his ilk) is/are hucksters. But that is certainly not the overriding message of the film. While his character is seeking the fame of an Oprah appearance, with the exception of a brief lapse of judgment in the third act, he seems to have a very real concern for the outcome of the people he helps. And even that "lapse of judgment" consists of him taking a shortcut when helping someone, not him being malicious or underhanded.
I imagine that this must be what it's like for people to watch "Night At The Roxbury" or "The Ladies Man" if they had never seen an episode of "Saturday Night Live". Mike Myers clearly spent a lot of time and effort developing this character. So much so that the jokes often feel like they are referencing things that we're already supposed to be fond of. And while it isn't the fiasco that the trailers make it look like, the best it can seem to muster is to be mildly amusing. The jokes can get so juvenile that when you do laugh, it's almost in spite of yourself. If it's a guilty pleasure, it's more "guilty" than "pleasure".
As for the supporting cast, Jessica Alba has virtually nothing to do in this movie except gaze lovingly at Myers. But, unless she's never seen any of his other films, this couldn't have been a shock. And to add insult to injury, Myers character has taken a vow of chastity so she can barely even achieve the level of "love interest" status. Romany Malco does a fine job but is essentially the straight man. He's there to set-up Myers and, of course, gaze lovingly at himin a "manly" way of course. Verne Troyer, of Mini-Me fame, plays the Maple Leafs' coach. And, while I'm sure he's happy to have the work, he seems to exist solely for Myers/Pitka to make "midget" jokes. Of course, that's got to be better than another a season of the "Surreal Life"but not by much. On the upside, at no point in the film does Troyer have to gaze lovingly at Myers.
If there's anything movies like "Superbad" and "Knocked Up" have taught us, it's that a movie can be raunchy and still be smart. This movie has much of the desperate "love me/laugh at me" feel of later era Jerry Lewis films.
It's never a good sign when the biggest laugh in the film comes during the outtakes that roll during the credits. It's even worse when that outtake doesn't even have your star in the shot. This movie is not bad enough to be horrible but it's not good enough to be great (or even good for that matter).
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being "Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery" and 1 being "Cat In The Hat", "The Love Guru" gets a 5.