Watchable only for the preformances of Goldblum, Arliss Howard, Postlethwaite, and Attenborough

Rating: Null/10 (13 July 2001)

Warning: contains spoilers throughout.
This movie had lots of potential. However, instead of an adventure film, we have a "SAVE THE DINOSAURS!"rally. The movie starts out promising. In the opening sequence, a british family and the crew of thier yacht land on the shore of Isla Sorna. Unfortunately for them. the island is the hatchery for Jurassic Park. The couple's little girl gets attacked by compys, and John Hammond's secret island is discovered.
Now we are reintroduced to Ian Malcolm . Thanks to his public outcry of the events of the original park. And the fact that everyone is being secret about the events of the park, no one believes his story about the dinosaurs. To make matters worse, he is constantly harassed. While visiting Hammond, Malcolm meets up with Hammond's nephew, Peter Ludlow. Ludlow is taking over control of the Ingen corporation. Now here is where the plot becomes confusing. Here's how I have it figured out. Hammond has showed us how stupid he is by creating Jurassic Park. AND He kept secret about an Island that is teeming with dangerous animals, instead of alerting authorities about the place. He doesn't take into consideration the fact that someone might accidently land on the Island and be killed,(Though he probably knows it could happen, and for the sake of the movie, it does) he wants to keep the island a secret so the dinosaurs can flourish in their own way. Yeah, I feel REAL bad about Hammond losing control of the Ingen Corporation. WHEN WILL LUDLOWS REIGN OF EVIL END! I am in no way disappointed with Richard Attenborough's portrayal of the character. I always enjoy any movie he is in. But David Koepp should have thought about this while writing the screenplay. Oh and before I go any futher, Peter Ludlow is a VICTIM. He is nicely portrayed by Arliss Howard, who does the best he can with the one dimentional character. While watching this movie, there were three characters I had marked for death, and being the obvious villan, Ludlow was one of them. Malcolm agrees to go to the island to "rescue" His girlfriend, and the movie goes on. We are now introduced to Eddie Carr, the Man behind all the equipment, Nick Van Owen, A photographer who sometimes works with greenpeace, and Malcolm's annoying daughter Kelly. After some banter between Malcolm and Kelly (Who has gymnastics experience, it is revealed. gee, I wounder if that's going to come into play before the movie's over. wink wink. nudge nudge). The party sets out. Malcolm tells Kelly to stay put, but she stows away in the trailer. (WOW WHAT A SUPRISE). Then, so the party can REALLY be cut off, the fisherman of the boat they're on refuses to stay near the Island. (Gee, bet that's not a setup part of the plot either).
Upon landing(They still don't know of Kelly's presence) The group sets out in search of Sarah. Note to the scriptwriters- Malcolm reprimands Nick Van Owen about using Sarah's full name during the search(He shouts "SARAH HARDING!" to which Malcolm responds "How many Sarah's do you think are on this island?) later in the film, while searching for Nick, Malcolm Shouts "NICK VAN OWEN!" if they are going to have him make fun of it, then they shouldn't have HIM do the same thing.
They find Sarah, who reveals what a STUPID scientist she is by PETTING a Stegosaurus! Note-Cameras in movies make enough noise to stampede Stegosaurs when they are out of film. Her being so near, and the noise of the camera, causes the Stegosaurs to stampede. Then later, while walking with the others, she reprimands Nick for preparing to light a cigarette. "No interaction" she says. AFTER SHE PETTED A DINOSAUR! AND SHE IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE EXPERIENCE IN THE FIELD AROUND ANIMALS. DOES SHE PET LIONS TOO? From here on out. I'm going to refer to Sarah as Dr. Dipsh*t. Now, to shorten this review, let me say that they find Kelly, Malcolm tries to leave, and Ludlow and his band of EVIL trappers show up. They are led by Roland Tembo (A very good Pete Postlethwaite) His character is hard not to like, and I was rooting for him to survive. His character reminded me of Robert Muldoon in the first movie. The group then captures some dinosaurs. Malcolm's group is very upset by this. but they're forgetting something. THEY ARE LUDLOW's DINOSAURS. HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WITH THEM. after caging the dinosaurs, the group sets up camp. Before I go on, let me tell you the other two people who I just knew were going to die. Eddie (Richard Schiff) simply because he could fix anything that was demolished(Hey we have to strand these people in the wilderness after all) and Dieter Stark, Roland's second in command, because he shocked one of the compys And since this is a save the dinosaurs movie, that is a NO NO(and I bet I know which of the dinosaurs is going to kill him) While Roland and his assistant are out hunting the T-Rex, Nick Van Owen and Dr. Dipsh*t release all the caged dinosaurs. The now free dinosaurs demolish Ludlow's camp, and an exploding car nearly kills Roland and his assistant. So This is our hero? I really hated the Van Owen character by now. Then, in a display of BLATANT STUPIDITY, Van Owen puts everyone's lives in danger by bringing the baby T-Rex to their trailer. Needless to say, the Rexes show up, attack the trailers, and Eddie is killed trying to save them (I told you he was going to die). also, during the exciting trailer scene, was it obvious to everyone else that the satelite phone was going to shatter the glass? after they get up top, Ludlow's party graciously allows them to tag along, even though Dr. Dipsh*t and (From now on I'm going to call Van Owen Please shoot me) Please shoot me were responsible for the destruction of their camp. To wrap up everything that happens in the final act, The group is attacked, Dieter Stark is killed off by compys (I told you so), Roland survives but his assistant does not, Please Shoot me almost gets Roland Killed AGAIN, Kelly's gymnastics skills come into play (Didn't see that coming!) and the party escapes. Roland and Ludlow survive the island. and in a big disappointment, so does Please shoot me. (If I were Roland, I would press charges against the stupid son of a b*tch). Needless to say, The T-rex (And her baby) are brought to San Diego, The big Rex gets out, does a bunch of damage, and, using the baby rex Dr. Dipsh*t and Malcolm get the rex contained. In the final scene for Ludlow, we watch his character get eaten by the baby rex while The big rex watches on with pride. Was this supposed to make us cheer? I didn't. It was cruel. Ludlow, while not the brightest person in the world, by no means deserved to die. (But I knew he would, because he is THE VILLAN)
It's hard to say where this movie goes wrong. It can't be blamed on Michael Crichton. While not topping His first book, made a very good sequal with "The Lost World". Koepp however, completely throws it out, in favor of the movie we get to watch. While I don't think it's the greatest story ever told, It is a worthwhile watch. Jeff Goldblum is Great as Malcolm. Pete Postlethwaite brings Roland to life, Arliss Howard does the best he can with what he's got, and I really like anything that Attenborough does. So I say, watch for yourself, and make your own judgements.
** out of ****
% out of ten