Utter, utter tosh

Rating: Null/10 (13 January 2003)

PROBABLY SOME SPOILERS IN THIS
I enjoyed the first film. Plenty of action, plenty of character development, plenty of emotion, some fantastic NZ scenery. Saw TTT, though, and thought it was, by contrast, incredibly poor. I wasn't expecting anything life-affirming but I was expecting another good, well-made movie. Again, there was great scenery, and the NZ tourist board must be rubbing their hands. But as for the film...
This was, essentially, a long middle part of another film. Whilst this could be expected, the clearest comparison that can be drawn is the Star Wars films, with certainly the first-released trilogy each forming great films in their own right. This was not the case with TTT.
As far as characters went, there was no discernable development other than Gollum. I enjoyed his little ramblings, and thought he was very well done, if slightly comic book in facial appearance. We learned absolutely nothing about anyone else of value. Aragorn was just about the only character with whom I felt any kind of empathy (well, I would say that, wouldn't I). Frodo spent more time in a badly-acted trance than he did communicating (I understand the ring was taking him over, etc etc, but how often do we need telling?). Gandalf was disappointing, Saruman weak, Sam good (he's supposed to be annoying) but underdeveloped, Legolas acting like he was from Legoland, and demoting Gimli to light relief was a shame. New characters like Theoden and Grima were assiduously kept on one level.
The plot was, well, not strong enough to make the film stand on its own. Perhaps it could have been, but I got the feeling that we were being blasted with special effects which, whilst very impressive, almost seemed to be trying to mask the fact that the storyline itself was too slow-moving and didn't contain enough to keep us interested unaided.
And aside from all this, there were so many elements to the film that were plain ridiculous that I actually left the cinema laughing. The giant tree things. Incredible. I know there's a certain suspension of disbelief required here and that they are a vital part of the story but, despite looking good and being in some visually interesting scenes, these too looked like comic characters. Reminded me of the rocks that come alive in, I think, Return to Oz, but the rocks were much darker and struck a more appropriate tone. The trees just reminded me of my grandad (yes, he was forty foot high and covered in moss) and their transformation into destructive forces capable of bringing down Saruman's gaff was then too far-fetched.
And so many cliches it wasn't true. From the painfully obvious pathetic fallacy of the rain at the start of the battle for Helm's Deep to the cringe-worthy appearance of Gandalf on shining steed bringing light to battle against the forces of dark at daybreak. And then leading a handful of blokes into battle against a massive army of really quite vicious creatures, and apparently trouncing them, is a bit beyond belief. Could we not have seen the battle? Did they run short on budget? I personally would appreciate a chance to see such an apparently incredible feat. And instead all we get is five of the main good guys sauntering over yet another hill crest to observe, 'Well, that was a job well done, but the really BIG stuff is going to happen in the next film.'
Thanks.
So I thought this was a waste of time but I'll still look forward to the final installment because I'd love to see how Jackson ends this. I suspect that the outcome could well have been a heavily-edited down 4 or five hour single film instead of a protracted 9 hour trilogy, but I'm still keen. As for this one, I was sorely disappointed.