Wake Up - this movie is terrible ***Spoilers***

Rating: 1/10 (5 January 2003)

Multiple ***SPOILERS*** referenced herein.
the two towers was horrrible. what a piece. it's the flop that the first one was expected to be except it's not a flop because the first part was so good. gag. totally terrible. are all the characters supposed to be bi-polar? just give us flat characters, not flat characters with absurd mood swings. middle earth should become a euphemism for PMS'ing. seriously. somebody who read the books tell me if Rudy's line about there being some 'good in the world and it's worth fighting for' tripe is tolkien's originally or jackson nearly echoing se7en. it's really sad that i wanna see more stuff with freakish elephant riders than frodo and sambone doing what is basically a really annoying version of "YOU DA MAN" "NAW, YOU DA MAN" "I CAN'T BE DA MAN CUZ Y O U D A M A N!!" Gandalf the grey Gandalf the white, what is this magician's Tae Kwon Do crap like a cheesy ninja movie where the guy busts out with the black belt he got in a day after spending 3billion years as a blue belt in LA LA LAND. i dont care if this gibberish is in the book; it's stupid. and speaking of gibberish, has anyone else had enough with the random mumbling in elvish? is that supposed to be interesting or compelling like "whoa he's mumbling in elvish *blinkblink* "? i'm pretty sure that garbage isn't untranslated in the book- whaddaya get to that part in the book and have to read affaleenoratoktokjokolhon? i dont think so, yet we sure get plenty of gibberish-uttering closeups. i'm sure it's great for all of the supernerds who want to learn LOTR's answer to star trek's klingon but i don't. it's cool and fine if someone's casting a spell a la anything else in the fantasy genre. does anybody remember willow? I'd bet the farm on that wicked sorceress to take both gandalf and saruman white hand man who wills the uruk-hai (elvish for negroes) to their deaths in what was one of the greatest siege warfare blunders of all time but only because superflamer white pony gandalf shows up and uses all of his magical powers to reverse braveheart's calvary-killing logic. classic siege warfare people. when your opponent pens himself into a defended corner, you don't throw your army right at him. you wait him out or run amok wherevertheheck else you wanna go. and you especially don't throw yourself at a king whose kingdom basically amounts to a hill with a puny castle and some wooden shacks on it. TRANSITIONS: the transitions and timing in TTT were as bad as the one I used to start this topic. it bounces around the action with little if any regard to transitioning. this was done right in the first part where when you switch locations there is a still shot or a zoomed out view of where you're going. in one part of triple T you've got Ent-riding to Frodo back to Ent-riding for no relevant reason at all. also on that Frodo part, where he's taken to Gondor, i was told by a book-reader that boromir's brother let's him go at the waterfall, a much more logical, consistent and not completely retarded decision. jackson gives us a jerk-around the mulberry bush and a visit from the buck-toothed dragon. this ain't about book vs. movie though. "3 hours of torture featuring Smeagol" is what i woulda called it or how about just "lord of the rings: the suck" and to think i was all hyped up after watching all three and a half hours of the fellowship extended edition.