Number 14?!?Just shows how badly people get taken in by hype...

Rating: Null/10 (26 January 2003)

STAR RATING:*****Unmissable****Very Good***Okay**You Could Go Out For A Meal Instead*Avoid At All Costs
Luckily,for all you discerning movie-goers out there,Davideo (as you know) sees every piece of cinematic work for what it is.And so let me summarise my thoughts on The Two Towers (an astounding title for a film to get away with for a film released after two planes crashed into two certain towers in New York),the inevitable follow-up to the mega-successful (again,hype) Fellowship of the Ring.Well,what can I possibly say?I thought it was overlong,overblown,pretentious and took itself far too seriously.It was even less enjoyable than the first,which I found to be a major disappointment after all the rave reviews and mass publicity.I mean,I think it says it all when the greatest enjoyment I can honestly say I really derived from it was when,in the over-crowded cinema auditorium I was sitting in,two berks sitting next to me who sounded like they'd just inhaled a mass-amount of the whacky-backy,kept shouting out funny remarks whenever a serious or tense moment was coming up.At one particular moment,I really had to bite my lower lip to keep from really exploding with laughter.Normally,I would almost definitely have beared some inner-grudge against them for being inconsiderate of other movie patrons who'd payed good,hard-earned money to watch the film without any interruptions,but I considered this film to be stuck so far up it's own ass,to be honest,and I'm a little ashamed to admit this....I felt more like cheering them on.I mean,COME ON PEOPLE!!!This is a film in which some of the main characters are a bunch of walking ,talking trees (I guess you could call them really 'wooden' actors) and yet we're all going on as if it were Citizen Kane or something!?!I know there are many fans of the books out there who'd eagerly anticipated the release of the movies for a long time,but please!This type of film is this type of film,and it shouldn't get delusions of grandeur and try to be some sort of Lawrence of Arabia style epic.The frankly unbearable length is made even more patronising by all the actors turning in Shakespeare aspiring performances,especially with such atrocious,unmemorable dialogue.Ian McKellen as Gandalf the Great/White? (whatever) is one such actor,but considering how much his appearance in the film was promoted,it's really amazing how little screen time he occupies.Elijah Wood,Viggo Mortensen and Liv Tyler all turn in standard performances in what I considered standard roles.People go on about how funny some of the Klingon-like,rubber-faced characters in Star Trek look,but check out some of the ugly critters in this movie.They're a hoot.On the plus front,I suppose the end battle scene is relatively impressive,but overall,I at least for one can see how these meandering,self-important tales were concocted by some bored working bloke in Moseley in the late 19th century who couldn't seem to find anything better to do with his spare time other than stare down a well.**