I will not say do not weep, for not all tears are an evil.

Rating: 10/10 (15 March 2004)

Okay, this one's long overdue. The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King, or, as I simply shall refer to it from now on, ROTK, is a thrilling, wonderful, amazing retelling of the much-loved last part of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord Of The Rings. To call it one of the greatest accomplishments in film since some French bloke thought placing pictures next to each other would look groovy, would be quite apt. This title must, of course, be ascribed to the trilogy in its entirety, for it is all a single masterpiece. But ROTK has that one little thing the other two parts by definition cannot have: the payoff. Both Fellowship and Towers, while brilliant in their own respects, in fact merely exist to bring us to this point. As Gandalf states, the great battle of our time. And by Jove, what a battle it was. Visually as well as emotionally rich and tense beyond anything your nerves will be able to bear, the action set pieces in ROTK will blow you out of the water so far you'll reach the shores of Valinor before you can thank a single Maori at the Oscars. As amazing and stunning the settings, armies, costumes and CGI (Gollum/Sméagol being just so damn good you can't help but seeing him as an actor rather than a special effect), it's the heart of the story that'll draw you in. These are characters you've all come to care about, and you feel that they're putting everything on the line here to fight for what they believe in (yes, I also am a firm believer in non-annihilation-of-human-race-by-way-of-Dark-Lord). There is a sense of despair permeated throughout this film as opposed to the somewhat gung-ho adventures of the Fellowship in the first and (although to a much lesser extent) the second film. Even Gimli and Pippin seem to be somewhat dampened in spirit, given the fact they were the previous two films' funnymen. Dire straits, indeed. As in the previous two films, the actors are splendid in their roles, with no exception. This time though, the spotlight is for Sean Astin as Samwise Gamgee, Frodo's country bumpkin gardener. He practically single-handedly personifies LOTR's recurrent themes of friendship, loyalty, bravery beyond duty, and love. Because of this, many believe him to be the true hero of the saga. That is, of course, a matter of personal opinion, though it is one I will gladly share. It is not without its minor shortcomings however (albeit very minor ones). The decision to exclude Saruman from the theatrical cut may have been a wise one pacing-wise, but as a rabid Christopher Lee fan, I thought it somewhat diminished the film. To put a more objective view on this, my mother after the film asked me 'what happened to Christopher Lee'. Maybe a lot of people who didn't read the book or aren't intent on buying the extended editions wonder(ed) the same thing. The end credits song by Annie Lennox is also the weakest of the three, in my humble opinion. I will admit it has grown a bit on me since the first time I heard it, though Annie's practical screaming of some verses still has me cringing. But by God man, don't let that stop you from experiencing ROTK or indeed, LOTR as a whole. Moments to watch out for in ROTK being: Pippin's song intercut with Faramir's death charge, 'For Frodo', the Ride of the Rohirrim, Eowyn (yes, there's nothing following that), Denethor's fall, the Lighting of the Beacons, and ANYTHING remotely surrounding Mount Doom. A lot has been made of the seemingly endless endings this film has, but I assure you, they are all in actuality one. They are not 'off-topic' or what have you, for they still pertain the matter of Frodo and the Ring (in this case Frodo's not being able to shake off its effects and needing to find peace sailing West). The only segment of the endings that you could find off-topic is Sam's coming home from the Grey Havens, and that hardly lasts two minutes. You've just sat through a three hour plus film, you'll be able to sit through two more minutes, won't you?
P.S. Legolas kills an Olyphaunt. It looks cool.