From masterpiece to hack job in two years...

Rating: 5/10 (25 December 2003)

On December 26, 2001, I was excited beyond belief because a film arrived in Australian theatres that didn't pander to the lowest common denominator and insult my intelligence. That film was called The Fellowship Of The Ring, and its director gave me hope that somewhere out there, truly creative people could still be given the funding to make their art.
Unfortunately, somewhere about halfway through the editing of The Two Towers, some jerk at New Line must have tapped Peter on the shoulder and said "we've made back our money, we can trash the story all we want now". In the furore that followed the editor's cut of this film, Jackson was quick to assure the fans who'd had their hopes so built up by Fellowship the previous year that of the three films, Return Of The King was the one he changed the least from the text. By the way, you might want to stop reading now if you don't wish to have details of the film revealed.
Peter Jackson, I am calling you a liar and a fraud. I hope you've got a lot of footage saved up for the Extended Edition, because you will need to insert at least another hour for this mess to so much as look coherent. You are also a liar because you claimed that you cut Shelob's Lair out of The Two Towers and inserted it in Return Of The King because the battle of the Pelennor Fields and Frodo's encounter with Shelob occur at the same time. Your other claims aside, this brings up the question of why you then chose to magically teleport Frodo and Sam from the tower of Cirith Ungol to Mount Doom, having them hang around the outside of Mordor for hours, taking most of the running time just to get them to where they were at the end of The Two Towers, only to appear at the proverbial crack of doom in less time than it takes Aragorn to gain the allegiance of the King of the Dead.

Considering that you only observe your own storytelling rules when you want to, and use the Star Trek convention of telling us a plot detail rather than showing us, you really have no business directing an adaptation of an epic, classic novel. You certainly won't get any work directing adaptations of my work when it gets published. I also want to take the time to address cinematographer Andrew Lesnie. Take a good look at Fellowship's photography, then compare it to that of The Two Towers or The Return Of The King. Notice how much easier the battles in Fellowship are to watch because the camera doesn't shake like a crack-addled monkey?
It seems that the writers have also forgotten the Istari mandate, in that they are only meant to muster forces through counselling, advice, and encouragement. Then again, given that they never make it clear that Saruman intends to rule in Sauron's place, I guess it is too much to ask that they not contradict the Istari mandate (and Gandalf's behaviour in the other two films) by having Gandalf bash Denethor over the head with his staff. Speaking of Saruman, the big Star Trek moment of the film comes when Gandalf makes the big "he has no power anymore" speech. Okay, you're supposed to show us the reason why, not just tell us and expect us to take it as read.
It is important to contrast this by pointing out what does work in the film. The prologue explaining how the One Ring entered Sméagol's life and turned him into Gollum worked wonderfully, but I can think of at least two places in The Two Towers where it would have fit better. The sequence in the Paths Of The Dead also represent a rare moment where the film is rocketing along at a Herculean pace, and isn't brought to a screaming halt by exposition. A major, major part of the problem with this film is that it has been hamstrung by the previous episode's inability to pace itself. At least they demonstrate in this one sequence that they can mix battle scenes with exposition and make it work.
All in all, this final film makes me wonder why people are so surprised that Christopher Tolkien was so unwilling to give his approval for a museum of film props. Obviously, the man has had to go through a lot in order to preserve the integrity of his father's work, and he wants to hold out some hope that the mangling which occurred with the latter two parts of this trilogy will be forgotten by the time his grandchildren die. Unfortunately, with all the attention that was paid to the merchandising and marketing (even though the Games Workshop models are absolutely awesome), it seems the story got left behind. This is not The Return Of The King. It should have really been called Let's All Fight A Lot.