The Return of the Epilog

Rating: 9/10 (3 June 2013)

A great film otherwise, the ending of Peter Jackson's Return of the King is far too long (irregardless of what is or isn't in the book).
Don't delude yourself - there ARE "too many endings"! The victory at the Pelennor Fields is the obvious climax of the film (that's the point where actor Jack Nicholson said he left the theater, certain the film was over). Of course, Frodo and Sam's quest must be resolved with the destruction of the One Ring (and thus also Sauron, The Lord of the Rings), and Tolkien lovers would have been horrified if the associated and anti-climatic Black Gate battle were omitted. Plus we need to see Aragorn crowned king (the title IS "The Return of the King", after all). Okay, and he gets the girl too.
But THAT'S IT! Enough is enough! End it already!
Jackson may have remained more faithful to the story by tacking-on an agonizingly long and boring ending, but it RUINS THE MOVIE. For die-hard fans it doesn't work anyway - he leaves too much out. Thus, "The Two Towers" will always remain the best of the three.
Don't get me wrong: I was enthralled by Jackson's trilogy. He just wrecked the end. Badly.
I clearly remember seeing "King" when it opened in theaters: People were yelling "Aww, come on! End the movie!" At least a quarter of the audience left before it was over. I watched the last 15 minutes standing in the aisle. It was agonizing (especially since I had to pee!).
I recently watched the extended version of "King", or at least most of its 4 hours and 11 minutes. It took me two separate evenings to get to the destruction of the ring, and that's all I could take in two installments. I later fast-forwarded through the rest, and only to make sure I didn't miss anything new.
There's more than 15 minutes from Aragorn's coronation and kissing Arwen to "The End". The theatrical and extended versions are the same. Jackson had miles of film he could have added to the already protracted ending, but I'm certain he didn't dare, after all the complaints he heard about the theatrical ending being too long.
There was no real reason to paste a lame and unsatisfying ending onto the film, and also no real reason to give the story's conclusion the short-shrift.
HERE's what Jackson should have done: Create a fourth "Epilog" installment that resolves ALL the characters' stories in-detail. This would have freed Jackson to make ROTK the taught film masterpiece it should have been. Said "Epilog" should NOT have shown in theaters (would be way too boring for the average film-goer), but only made available on DVD/BD as a separate purchase, or with a boxed trilogy set.
Costing them virtually nothing extra, the studio would have made even more $$$ with the Epilog concept, and more people would have seen and bought ROTK. Plus, ROTK would now be considered a great movie classic of the highest caliber, instead of bloated, self-indulgent geek fodder.
One could argue that splitting the LOTR movies into Tolkien's six original "books" (instead of the three "volumes") would have been the best approach, but the ending would still be boring.
I think Tolkien would have liked the "Epilog" approach. In fact I know it, because JRR Tolkien's original version of LOTR did indeed have an Epilog, in which Samwise narrates (to his children) what happened to all the characters after the ring was destroyed. Perfect! However, his publisher didn't like the Epilog, and Tolkien was forced to smash most of it onto the end of the main storyline.
Thus, Peter Jackson had a golden opportunity to make ROTK a far better film by resurrecting Tolkien's Epilog, while arguing that "This was Tolkien's original vision for the Lord of the Rings".
I don't know if Jackson and the other screenwriters considered an "epilog" approach, but they should have, and should certainly regret now not doing something along those lines.
Jackson's Lord of the Rings Trilogy is wonderful, but the ending is awful. That pretty much sums it up.
My opinion is directed primarily toward the people that will remake The Lord of the Rings films in the future - and they will (20 years seems to be the standard waiting period for starting a major remake, so look for the new LOTR movies in theaters in the late 2020s!). Now you know how to do it right!