Anyone for cucumber sandwiches?

Rating: Null/10 (23 November 2004)

This is the triumph of effects over content and I suppose if that is what you are after in a film, this is a superbly crafted and brilliant film. The battle scenes are impressive in their scale. At the end of over 3 hours of film I was neither relieved nor excited. Maybe it works better on a large screen but watching it on a DVD, it had about as much dramatic impact as a vicar's tea party. And about as exciting as watching pimply, pony tailed, earnest young men playing out their Warhammer episodes at Games Workshop! I can understand a film being made for kids, which this obviously is, but at least give us some adult issues to mull over. The battle scene in Antz with its Hieronymus Bosch scenes of hell had more dramatic impact than a million naughty Orks with psoriasis could ever provide. There was never any feeling of danger, doom, despair or horror in the battle scenes. If it had been a battle between robots, it would have been just as effective...dull! It would appear that the director never watched "Ran" by Kurosawa.
Was some of the music a nod to "Back to the Future"? Why are so much of the set pieces so symmetrical, the castles, the cities, the twin towers, the in-between the valley scenarios, etc etc? I would be very disturbed if my son grew up believing in this romantic approach to war, death and sacrifice and the triumph of individual acts of heroism. Are the water bottles ready, love?