Sauron and the Orks...all they ever do is lose! (spoilers)

Rating: Null/10 (2 January 2004)

Sauron, the evil eye, looses. He gets stronger. They keep telling us how he gets stronger and stronger and he just keeps losing. Imagine if he had won something? In Fellowship, the Orcs kill one Prince of Gondor. he kills about 50 of them first, but hey, who's keeping score? In Towers, some ronin riders of Rohan come upon an Orc battalion and guess what? Ork Stew! They do pretty well with 10,000 orkies in the battle of Helmskeep or Helmsdeep or whatever, until the newly whitened gray wizard shows up with a few thousand riders (Rohan-ians or Gondor-ians? I cannot remember) and, once again, 10,000 orcs are soon fit for the pot. At the same time, the large Tree-things retake the other tower city with the other white (bad) wizard, wipe out that army, destroy that tower and eliminate the Evil Eye's most loyal bad-white-wizard ally. I'd say at that point, that Sauron is doing very badly. Maybe Bagdad Bob would say he's just getting stronger, because that's exactly what Good-white-wizard says even as her surveys two massive battle victories. Imagine if they had lost? Now, in Rings, the evil eye sends another 10,000 orks against the capital city of Gondor: Minas Gerais. Well, some Minas, if not Gerais. How do they do? Well, okay until Aragon shows up with a new phantom army pledged to fight for the True King. That's 20,000 orks gone in two big battles, and just how many orks did the tree-things kill? Oh, and a GIRL kills his top flying magical warrior. This is not good for Evil Eyes! If I was the evil eye, I'd be worried at this point, wouldn't you? Nope, he's fine. So long as the Ring isn't melting in Mordor, he's just getting stronger. Yessirree. So, we take what's left of the Gondor-Rohan merged cavalry and ride out to the Doors of Doom to "distract" the last remaining 10,000 orks. I guess Evil felt a 30,000 man ork army was enough to bring back evil to Middle Earth. The schmuck! So's his only fear is a melting ring, he stations ONE killer giant spider to protect the Mordor furnace, and just sends out his last 10,000 orkies into a diversionary battle. Evil personified? Maybe. As dumb as they come? No doubt.