Thank You Very Much King!

Rating: 8/10 (21 January 2004)

Come on, my precious master readers and follow me as I will take you to my film reviews of the first two installments of `Lord of the Rings- Fellowship of the Ring & The Two Towers' which I praised as one of the best fantasy films of all time. Come on my precious readers, do not read the film reviews of that fat hobbit I mean critic Roger Ebert. My reviews of `Lord of the Rings' are more profound and better articulated than those of that fat critic. Follow me my precious readers to my reviews. Mr. Frodo, I mean readers is a trap! Do not read Meeza's relentless derogatory reviews of the first 2 installments of `Lord of the Rings'. It's too late! Here they are:

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Oh!!!!!! Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I could not understand why `The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring' was nominated for so many Oscars? In fact, my fellow man, I think this film should be shipped right out of every multiplex cinema in the country. I was never engaged to this ring tale about wizards, hobbits, and dragons. I hope the film chokes and has a severe case of `ring around the collar' on Oscar night. I did not like anything about this film! The wizards should be locked up in `Oz' prison, the hobbits were very earrryyyy, and the dragons should have stayed in their dungeon. All in all, the only finger that would fit in this ring story would be myÂ…. ( I think you can fill in the blanks.) * Failure
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
We have witnessed another melancholic Two Towers tragedy. That is the second installment of The Lord of the Rings trilogy `The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers'. This ring also fits into the hand of pathetic cinema just as the one of the previous fellowship. The film brings back all of its characters: hobbits Frodo & Sam, Gandalf the Wizard, hobbit defender Aragorn, and all the rest of these ludicrous characters who are more reminiscent of `Ringling Circus' animals than Lords of Rings. My quest, just as it was last year, is for this ring version to get destroyed at Oscar night and not receive any major wins. * Failure

Ok! So this is not in the same category of a Gollum trap, but as you noticed I was not the biggest fan of the first 2 installments of `The Lord of the Rings' trilogy. However, I must bow my head for the final installment of the trilogy `Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King'. This is not a Meeza Gollum trap! I really enjoyed this one! It is a visual spectacle! Director Peter Jackson has to be commended for his extraordinary direction. This Action Jackson will not molest children but yet entertain them with the film's thrilling battlefield sequences. Sorry Michael! He He! Sean Astin was very inspirational as an undersized linebacker (oops! wrong Astin movie) I mean oversized hobbit. It is worthy of a Best Supporting Actor Nomination. It was a pleasure to observe how all the pieces of the puzzle came together for all the film's characters in the trilogy's final installment. However, I am still puzzled that I actually enjoyed `Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King'. Could it be that my new hobby is now to continuously watch these hobbit tales? I hardly think so. However, `Return of the King' was fantasy film cinema at its supreme! I guess because of the film's astronomical profits and award accolades one can say that `It's Good to be the King!' **** Good