*yawn* Whatever...

Rating: 5/10 (4 June 2004)

Right, so another endless movie based on those not great books by Tolkien.
I could rant and rave about how terrible just about every aspect this movie is, but instead I'll keep it to just a few:
1) Acting was terrible- with the exception of Sean Bean... oh yah, he died in the first one. Oh but that guy who played Pipin... he was kickass in Master and Commander. 2) Graphics- where some of the worst I've ever seen. More pisspoor CGI and ridiculous architecture and so on. Looked like a video game or a cartoon. 3) Cinematography- *yawn*, if I wanted to see things spinning around (mountains, cities, whatever), I'd rent Spy Game. 4) Plot- hole after hole after hole... why didn't the hobbits and Gandalf just fly in at the very beginning of the first movie with an eagle and drop the ring into Mt. Doom? Why didn't the evil dude... you know... starts with an S? Anyway, why didn't he leave SOMEONE guarding the Mountain? 5) Script- when Strider was giving his speech to his army (who's cavalry suddenly vanished... oddly enough), I was just waiting for him to utter the immortal words: "This is St. Crispains Day!" Then he and Branagh could have a little Picnic while the armies went to fisticuffs. 6) Scenes- I think there were 3 memorable scenes in all off these movies combined, one from the third and two from the first (when the cavalry makes their doomed charge and when Borimir dies; and that one little seen where Borimir holds the ring in his hand while everyone trudges through snow). That doesn't speak highly of a trilogy this long. 7) Names & Stuff- all these damn characters sounds the same. Elves are lame.
Good vs Evil is tired as hell.
In conclusion; this movie is the Ben Hur of its time. It's too long, full of wholes coupled with lame graphics and shitty acting. It'll be forgotten in a fortnight.
FYI- the best movie ever made is Barry Lyndon. Just so those reading this know where I'm coming from.