Boring, Boring, Boring!!!!!

Rating: Null/10 (2 January 2004)

For the first time ever in watching a movie I wanted to run out of the theater screaming I was so bored with this waste of celluloid. But it was Christmas day and I was with family so I gutted it out. I used to think our mandatory all-hands meetings at work were boring, with our management droning on endlessly in a Dilbertian blitz of "industry buzzword" speak, and assaulting our eyes with screen after screen after screen of Powerpoint slides containing tortured charts and diagrams metaphorically symbolizing progress, profit margins, management reporting chains, etc. No more. This horrible, horrible lame excuse of a movie is now the standard for TRULY, TOTALLY BORING. All Peter Jackson knows to do in making a movie is to stick a camera in the nose of his talentless actors and overflow the screen with extreme closeups of angst ridden faces. He could have cut two hours from this pointless exercise in butt-deadening misery if he had just cut out all those pointless closeups. And his computer generated cartoon battle scenes failed to salvage this bomb. I can't remember what he did in the first two and I'm sure not going to go back and watch them to find out. Of course, the Hollywood Morons will give it the oscar. They are stupid idiots who will fall all over themselves in a race to shower praise on this wretched, stinking piece of rotting offal.
And did I forget to mention how BORING this movie was?