A silly story about some stupid people

Rating: Null/10 (4 June 2004)

The one thing I can say good about this movie is that it does follow the book well, and creates a world of its own.
However, it's the value of that world that is in question. Not one of the characters has any common sense. They're all nuts! The other problem is that things are just suddenly pulled out of a hat any time it's convenient! (Please excuse if I misspell any character names. My mythical name spelling skills are not up to snuff).
You have to be a very simple minded person to believe any of the story. Example: Why doesn't Gandalf simply have an EAGLE FLY FRODO OVER MOUNT DOOM AND DROP THE RING IN? Hmmm? Instead of doing the simple thing, the "WIZARD" has to die, fight unarmed against a creature 100 times his size (and win, just pulled out of a hat), get resurrected (never explained just pulled out of a hat), go get into an argument with Saruman (he could have just pretended to go along with the show but no, he had to be stupid and fight against impossible odds).
Boromir is a covetous, angry fool. Frodo is a naive simpleton. Sam is a gluttonous dim wit. Gollum is a total whack job. Gandalf, for being over 1000 years old, has NO strategic thinking skills. Elrond and all the elves are cowards running away to the mythical land across the sea (totally unexplained and pulled out of a hat like we are supposed to somehow understand). All the kings are anencephalitic morons. Gimlie is chronically constipated apparently. About the only sane character is Legolas but he has no depth. We don't know where ANY of these people came from really, or who they are really, or where they are going, except MAYBE Frodo. No one ever explains WHY Sauron is evil. He's just this eyeball floating on a rook. But this isn't really a flaw in the movie so much as the books it was drawn from. If you want to predict the story just ask yourself "What is the worse possible thing you would do in a similar situation?" and that is what Tolkiens characters do. They always do the most bone headed thing possible. I just can't have sympathy for stupid characters that cause their own problems.
And what makes it all even more ridiculous is how serious this is all taken, like it's REAL or something. The story is so full of plot holes that, when the actors take it so seriously it compounds the absurdity.
So, if you are someone who enjoys the story lines of Saturday morning cartoons, you might enjoy this story. Otherwise, don't expect anything great. Try to enjoy the special effects and action scenes which are particularly spectacular and possibly best of all time(if you don't fall asleep waiting).