Dull, Pretentious, Stupid and Uninspiring

Rating: 1/10 (9 November 2002)

First of all, I think this film suffered due to the arrogance of the filmakers. Before it's release, the cast and crew were going around saying things like "you've never seen anything like this!" and "I cried and you will to!".
Well sorry but I have this before. ALL OF IT! There is absolutely nothing in this film that is new and in fact it seems in places like a cut and paste job from other movies.
Sleepy Hollow, Jason and the Argonauts, First Knight, Camelot, Willow, The Ten Commandments, and so on. They're all represented here and some of the shots are identical to shots in those movies.
And no I didn't cry because ALL of the characters are so unlikeable.
What you have here is a bunch of second rate actors(Ian McKellen and Christopher Lee aside} portraying a bunch of unlikeable and dull characters. Characters who for most of the movie, run away, meet some bad guys, run away, meet some more bad guys, run away again and this keeps happening until the end. Except there is no end!!!! It just stops in a cynical ploy to get you to go and see the next movie.
The story is boring and has no narrative drive. It's supposed to be an adventure story but where is the adventure?! There is no tension or excitement. And the action scenes are so muddled that it shows Peter Jackson up for the amature that he is. He should have stuck to B movies.
The plot is ridiculous. A magic ring which somehow has magic powers must be taken to the "Dark Gloomy Mountain Of Murder" or something like that, and our "heroes" decide to do it without any real questions.
From then we meet a mirage of incredibly embarassing creatures like Elves and Goblins and some CGI monsters which are so badly animated that it takes any realism out of the film.
But the worst thing is that everyone takes things so incredibly serious! Are you not allowed to laugh in middle-earth? Everyone is so po-faced.
The film has no zip. No spark and is instantly forgettable.