Tiresome computer game

Rating: 6/10 (5 January 2005)

This film moves nothing. It's Hollywood humdrum done hundreds of times before. A little more computer graphics in this one - and so!?? You get every clichÃ© not one time, not two times but 200 times. What a bargain! Why do I feel the action scenes are trite and tiresome? You have the big strong fearless bad guys coming in by the dozens and they are slaughtered like swatting flies. When they finally get one of our heroes, he doesn't even have the grace of dying in an orderly fashion. He takes blow after blow still standing and then linger on in I don't know how many last words and tear-jerking remarks. Yawn!! Heroes everywhere, please have the courtesy of dying before the audience is killed from boredom.
The plot is easy: heroes enter new game level, kill all bogies, heroes enter new game level, kill all bogies (repeat and count for yourselves during 3 hours). This is a glorified computer game, jump-kill, jump-kill, kick-kill, jump-kill ... ad nauseam.
And the romance, oh we musn't forget the romance must we? Vision the clever producer with a bit cigar leaning back in the chair getting the original brilliant idea: "we gotta have a broad in there, she gotta look gorgeous but what's she gonna do? Ahh, hell, doesn't matter ..." And when you have heard the characters "I-do-declare" for half an hour that's enough. The rest is tiresome. In another environment the acting would have been deemed hammy. Why this film is cried out to be the masterpiece of the human history I just can't figure out.