Horrible

Rating: 1/10 (28 December 2001)

This film was so incredibly bad. The first hour was boring...and then it just got worse. No discernible story here. They have to destroy a ring. Movies are supposed to have a beginning, middle and an end. Not this one. We sit through 3 hours of mostly talking just to finish the beginning. I know it's to be a trilogy, but 3 hours to just set up the beginning is unforgivable. Star Wars was a trilogy, but each movie had a definite ending to them. Death star destroyed, but Vader escapes to fight another day. All we're left with in this pathetic waste of 3 hours (which I'll never get back) is "let's go hunt some orcs". Ho-hum.
How many times do we have to see a super close-up of the ring in Frodo's hand? Also, are we supposed to care about some wimpy Hobbit. All the blithering whining about "oh how I wish I had never gotten the ring." Wah Wah. With all that crying going on, I felt like I was watching a Hugh Grant home video.
Yeah, there's neato guido fight scenes, but it's amazing that with all the time and expense this movie could manage to be so terribly boring. 5 minutes of excitement followed up with 30 minutes of walking, talking and nothing in general happening. I don't give a crap about how pretty the scenary was. Who cares? I would rather watch a good story well told set in a litter box than this piece of garbage that had it's 'breathtaking vistas' and unwatchable characters. Are we supposed to identify with a Hobbit? Put some shoes on, Elijah!