Wake up people!

Rating: 7/10 (15 February 2002)

For Pete's sake people! 9.1, Top 2 of all time! What's happening?
Honestly... has three hours of squashing orcs become a universal idea of a cinematic masterpiece? Remember there once were some niceties like complex characters.. their development.. their feelings.. uh.. unexpected and beautiful turns of the story.. some nice camera work.. interesting evil? Anyone?
Is it strange to want good guys explained and endeared to me before I even start to like them? I know they're some of them good looking but sadly I'm not a teenage girl. Is it too much to ask bad guys also explained? One of them has a really big black stick and is proficient in using it - that should be enough? Oh, then there's the little eventuality of being, like, born out of mud and having a wee bit of a weakness for black in dress - and so not having very good looks... But hey the All Blacks might be scarier and lots of people even like them! Oh the nicest looking is the good one? Doesn't it sound a bit fascist?
Is it cheeky to ask for a few shots in a 3hr movie that could make good art when stilled? The circling camera sweep routine has apparently been burnt into the firmware of WETA's computers somwehere right down Mount Doom - it's been used I've lost count how many times.
What of a story? I'm sure if you tried to recount it to anyone who hasn't read the book or seen the movie you were having a hard time. Seems to me that the screenplay misses a lot of messages from the book.
My greatest actor grudges are Frodo, and Elrond. McKellen is definitely getting his Oscar for best supporting role - that Frodo needs a hell of supporting. Don't know if Wood would be playing well, for he has very little to play. Hugging Gandalf and pulling faces when hit by a spear - not much room for an actor's feat. And 'have you not heard nothing Lord Elrond has said?' He said 'My name is Smith. AGENT Smith'.
Now, hey, hey, don't throw stuff at me! The movie's beautiful and yeah, it's based on a great book, and yeah it tries hard at transferring it on the screen. Whether it manages is a big question tho. Stop for a moment. Inhale. Count to three. Exhale. Is this movie head and shoulders above Casablanca... American History X... Fight Club... The Usual Suspects... any great film you still remembered before Christmas 2001? I hope there's still sanity in many of us to say NO.
7/10