A proper evaluation

Rating: Null/10 (18 September 2003)

I never fail to be amazed at how gullible some people are with respect to movie promotion. That anyone intelligent would care for their asinine views is lamentable. Fortunately, I am an expert in film analysis and critique, and I've decided to take a little time out from my busy schedule in order to treat you to a proper, well-measured and meaningful evaluation. I insist you read it carefully and completely; it may be worthwhile to acquire a good dictionary now.
Reading film is a skill that takes time and practice to achieve. Few people other than myself achive mastery of it. Reading into "Fellowship of the Ring" leaves many questions unanswered. This would not be the case had the director been a great Frenchman like Truffaut or Bertolucci. They must be rolling in their graves. Peter Jackson is obviously on the learning curve of the directorial apprenticeship - I feel somewhat aggrieved that I could not go back in time and spare him some free consultancy. The film is worsened for this. However, there are other merits, notably the incredible array of special effects and camera trickery on display. All the stunts, scenery and effects (such as reducing character's size) were actually filmed inside a computer.
The film's main plot theme is basically about a boy called Frodo who finds a ring imbued by magical powers by an evil wizard called Saraman who has a large eye of fire. Upon finding this out he asks a wizard called Gandalf how to destroy it - he has to walk into a distant land called Mordor and throw it into a river. This may be read as a blunt analogy to nuclear proliferation, and makes for some intriguing possibilities in the sequels that will inevitably follow if this film is a success. I recommend that you watch this film.
I noticed that this film occupied position 6 in the IMDB top 250. Whilst the film admittedly has numerous merits, I graded it a '1' to bring it down to a more reasonable rank. I will be reviewing other movies soon, and I recommend you take the time and effort to consult my wisdom. If you would like to express your gratitude to me for this review, please feel free to place an entry in the messageboards.