Elvish Coshtello? Elvish Preshley?

Rating: Null/10 (15 January 2002)

The world does not need a 100 million dollar movie like this, but now that we have one, I grudgingly admit that it is surprisingly good. Starring the worryingly androgynous Elijah Wood as Frodo, and various other people as other similarly-named characters, this is one of those films in which people go on an epic quest and things happen to them on the way. Not having read the books (or should I say "Books"?) this was somewhat surprising. I expected, for some reason, the story to be better. But no, that's about all there is to it. There's an epic quest. Things happen on the way. In fact, the quest is so epic that apparently it needs three movies for the whole thing to be shown. What a quest! And what great things happen on the way! Our heroes get attacked. Again and again. On the plus side, there are no cute talking animals or computer-generated sidekicks. There is precious little romance. The action is well-staged and the special effects actually deserve to be called "special". The film does not hang about, either. No sooner have our plucky little dudes arrived in one artfully-rendered location than they're off, over the NZ hills, to another one. The power of the ring is shown to great effect, in a couple of eye-opening scenes in which otherwise innocent characters suddenly become evil gits desperate to get their hands on the thing. Which all adds to the fun, I'm sure you'll agree. The performances from all concerned are excellent, especially when you consider that so many of the scenes involve actors talking/reacting to stand-ins/green-screens, or whatever. Some of the characters are normal sized, you see, while others (although played by normal sized people) are quite a bit smaller. Such is this film's confidence and subtlety, however, that this is never really stated, it's just there, and the effects are up to the job of showing it without calling attention to it. Amazing, really, in this day and age. In fact, despite all its up-to-the-minute technology this is a pleasantly old-fashioned film. It relies on long-forgotten crafts like storytelling, characterisation, plot, suspense and drama for its effects. Peter Jackson knows how to milk suspense without overdoing it, such as in the scene where the Hobbits are hiding in the roots of a tree, from one of the guys in black. For a second, the shot just shows them, cowering, with the tree above them. The audience is right there with them (apart from the tw*ts discussing where to go for dinner into their mobiles) until slowly the horseman appears. It's simple and effective. Moments like that make you realise you're not just watching another Hollywood cgi-fest, but the work of people who genuinely know how to make a Crowd-Pleaser. George Lucas should watch it several times, and then hang his head in shame. And we can only hope that, in twenty years' time, Mister Jackson is still making genuine entertainment like this rather than hopeless, lumpen, stolid, insulting crap like "The Ph*nt*m Menace". Thanks for reading.