An Adventure is a Disaster you Survive

Rating: Null/10 (2 March 2002)

That's what it's like in real life, anyway. In "reel life", adventures are supposed to be fun. And this one just isn't. Technologically, it's probably the greatest film ever made, miles ahead of George Lucas dreadful Star Wars prequel, with it's army of walking skeletons. The film is symphony of visual images that will sweep you away, at least when you first see them. But then you start to look for a little something more and it isn't there.

Star Wars, (the original), had the cocky Han Solo and the humorous C3P0 and R2D2, (spare us Jar Jar Binks in the next one, George). The Three Musketeers gave us Athos, Porthos and Aremis, with their joy of life and es spirit de corps. This movie is best characterized by the scene in the cave where the heros, (who don't even seem to like each other), have dispatched one creature and one of them says "What Horror Awaits us Next?". This is much more like a protracted horror movies than a cinematic adventure. You just try and survive each scene. The deaths are grisly. There is no humor, (save for a tasteless inside joke about dwarf-throwing), and no sense of fun. Audiences identify with heroes who have confidence and these guys look as if they don't think they are going to make it through the next scene. This wears on you and drains the life out of the movie.
It deserves every technical Oscar but lacks the entertainment value to be a really great movie.