Congratulations on the tech demo, where's the film?

Rating: 1/10 (3 January 2002)

Peter Jackson \ C/O WETA Productions \ New Zealand
Dear Peter,
I write to you care of your special effects studio, as that seems to be where you spent most of your time during the production of this 3 hour technical demonstration.
I would like to congratulate you on producing a proof of concept that demonstrates that you now have the technology to make a great adaptation of "The Fellowship of the Ring", and I would be keen to know when you intend to do so.
While your proof of concept was nearly technically flawless (not many people will have noticed Legolas drawing CGI arrows straight through - and not out of - his quiver), I am sure that you realise that this is only a necessary prerequisite to actually producing a dramatic and enjoyable film. Clearly, your cast realised that they were just doing a dress rehearsal, as they delivered unengaging and one dimensional performances. Unfortunately, Liv Tyler and Sean Bean seemed to be labouring under the mistaken belief that they were actually filming the real movie; it was rather cruel of you not to let them into the secret. Boromir's line of "And they have a cave troll." contained a full TWO nuances (sardonic, resolute) and sounded as though an actual person had spoken it, which jarred badly with the idiot-board delivery in the rest of the tech demo.
It was an interesting choice to show half of most of the plot lines (as opposed to most of half of them), so that the test audiences could get a taste of what to expect in the final version. For example, showing Sam saying goodbye to Bill the pony, without explaining where he came from, or setting up Gimli's antipathy to elves without then allowing him his one piece of character development, his adoration of Galadriel. Of course, no one who has actually read the books will be satisfied with this token coverage of the facets that make the book so enjoyable, and I trust you will resolve this in the release version.
When you do film the final version, I would suggest that you obtain both an action choreographer, and a decent sound recordist. It is clear that you had neither for this technical demo, as the action sequences jump cut once or twice a second, usually away from imminent snafu's, and the entire film is drowned out by the yammering and cliched soundtrack (Enya! How capricious!), a clear sign that you had no decent original to edit. Apparently you will have $90 million to spend on the final version, and you will only have to cut perhaps ten seconds of CGI to be able to invest in some actual cinematics (I suggest the pointless Indiana Jones scene that serves the sole purpose of setting up a poor "joke"). On the issue of investment, I notice that your tech demo cameras can only focus at under twelve inches, or over fifty yards. Perhaps buying some cameras that can perform mid range shots might be an idea.
Once again, congratulations on showcasing WETA, and good luck when you actually decide to make your long awaited adaptation of "The Fellowship of the Ring".
Yours most very sincerely,
Ripe Peach