This Movie SUCKS!

Rating: 1/10 (9 January 2004)

I'll tell you why this movie is so incredibly stupid and why it irritates me when people talk about how "awesome" it is. It's not, folks. This movie is a 3 1/2 hour long hunk of cheese and is loaded with some of the most boring and pointless moments, and is acted out by Elijah Wood and his co-actors who, as any decently intelligent person knows, will only be remembered for these movies and will never be anything more than the LOTR's one-hit-wonders. Whoo! Sign me up to have my memory erased!

Here's the part of the movie that made me actually yell an obscenity in the middle of the theater (it starts with "bull" and ends with another word beginning with an "s"): Frodo has the RING OF POWER and he and his buddies are just skipping along in the woods. They are being tracked down and hunted by EVIL DEMON THINGS ON BLACK HORSES who can sense the power of the ring from anywhere in the world (or Middle Earth, as you geeks like to call it). They catch up with Frodo and the hobbits, and Frodo quickly ducks behind a LOG. One of the SUPER EVIL DEMONS suddenly halts and doesn't know where the ring is.
Need I say more? This movie is terrible. So is the second one, and so is the third one. I don't care if JRR Tolkein was a "genius" or a "brilliant writer." This movie, and its sequels, should have never been made. And while I'm at it, I want my nine bucks back!