On screen, Tolkien's story is a victim of its own success

Rating: 3/10 (27 December 2001)

So here's an idea. Let's make a movie that takes fifty years of sword and sorcery back to its roots. Let's rediscover the magic of a fantasy epic written half-a-century ago, an epic that has since inspired everything from Willow to Dungeons and Dragons, not to mention 10 million computer passwords (Gandalf being the runaway favourite).
After all, The Lord of the Things has never been successfully filmed. What could capture peoples' imagination more than a full length version that finally does the book justice?
Therin, however, lies the problem. From the moment this picture starts, it already seems far too familiar. Tolkien's story is a victim of its own success, so much so that it now seems like the kind of derivative wizards-and-witches fare that's been done too many times before. It's embarrasing to see a great work viewed in a context that makes it seem like the indulgent fantasies of a 14 year-old-boy who has played one too many role playing games.
The humour is woeful, the performances adequate but no more, the effects perfectly good but scarcely groundbreaking. And the three-hour running time can only be justified by purists who feel that this first installment of the book must be reproduced in its entirety. For far too long we have drawn-out scenes of the Fellowship traipsing across country, interspersed with battles where, as we quickly discover, a ratio of about 300-1 never gets in the way of a swift and easy victory. There is no climax to the movie, only one more skirmish with the Orcs in which, for once, the group sustain a loss (leading to a cringe-making dying swan act from Sean Bean). When it ends, suddenly, it is both a relief and a disappointment. Relief that we will not be subjected to any more of their dull hiking adventures, and disappointment that there was no pay off to make the previous 180 minutes worthwhile.

Perhaps the story picks up in the second and third installments. I wouldn't know, I haven't read the book. And these films aren't likely to encourage me to.
1 and a half stars out of 5.