This movie is rubbish disguised as silk

Rating: Null/10 (4 January 2003)

I'm going to say this outright:This is a dull, predictable, plodding, stupid film. Now, it might be easy for you, the reader, to assume that i hate reading, didn't read the books, and therefore treated the movie with extreme prejudice. Actually, i love reading. I like good, well told, original stories. The Lord Of The Rings was none of these things. JRR Tolien admitted to having written the books for himsef and no-one else. Boy, did it show! The outdated ramblings of a dry, humourless man do not a good trilogy make. Quite why Peter Jackson, a man who appears outwardly sensible made this rubbish is blatantly obvious:Money. There are a million folk out there who can't face reality, and choose Tolkien's self-indulgent drivel over actually living! I'm deeply sorry to have offended anyone, but we all know it's the truth, and there's no point denying it. So, where to start with the problems? Well, there's the acting. Ian McKellen couldn't be camper if he tried, Elijah Wood takes the money and runs, and everyone else just looks either drunk or bored,(a state which will echo how the viewer is probably feeling!) Then there's the camerawork: Overly flashy, some truly awful pans out, and where are all these stunning vistas everyone is talking about? The point of the camera is to show us the action, not shout "Look, i'm here, notice me" Then there's the pace, which is slower than a dead snail, the lack of any palatable tension, awful make-up (THOSE are Orcs? Oh, please!), and a tacked on storyline. Please, don't watch this. I expected great things from it, and came away feeling devasted at how awful it is. -1 out of 10.