Bored Of The Rings

Rating: 3/10 (5 January 2002)

I really wanted to like it. It could have been great. It had good
acting, beautiful scenery, and no politically corrected racial and
sexual messages.
The problem was that it was way too Hollywoodized. Non-stop BS action- scenes, fight scenes, war scenes, stuff blowing up, doopy little
hobbits and dwarves beating up entire armies, one after the other,
taking no casualties, very predictable, very boring (the book had
some of these problems too).
The camera constantly moved very rapidly over complex overly immense
computer generated images, hard to focus on, hard on the eyes,
ultimately rather meaningless.
The charm of the book wasn't there, the hominess of Hobbiton, the
warmth of Bree, no Tom Bombadill, there was virtually no character
development.
Basically it was one predictable overly loud and melodramatic battle
after another.
Too high a decibel level - my complaint about most modern movies -
are constant movie goers all deaf by now? - especially the pre-film
coming attractions advertising the latest twisted Hollywood
propaganda monstrosities.
Yeah, it could have been really really good if they slowed it way
down and quieted it way down...
Love those elvish women!
P.S. *Bored of the Rings* is a hilarious parody of Tolkein's *The Hobbit*.