Don't sell this film on the wrestlers!

Rating: 1/10 (3 July 2005)

I rate this film a zero. The film is pure garbage. I thought if your going to sell a film because you have some big name wrestlers in it then they'd actually be in the film quite a lot. Even the British remake with Vinny Jones was better than this. Even they managed to work in the whole "mean machine" name in a lot better than the shoe-horn attempt of this huge pile of steaming crap. Stone Cold Steve Austin hardly appears, how he managed to hurt his hamstring in the football scenes in beyond me. We see him play for all of about 5 minutes. Do the guards not bother with their field goals because we don't see them in the 1st half (in fact we only get to see the con's 2nd field goal during the whole 1st half). Bill Goldberg just magically appears in the film from no-where when the hunt for players starts. Kevin Nash, he's here - he's there, he's pointless. How did the prisoners get Estrogen in an all male facility? And if Mr Nash was taking steroids like candy like the film shows it would have taken months of Estrogen to upset his hormonal balance. Is it legal for Bill Goldberg to wear the letter X on his jersey on the field of play and not a number?
Why isn't Sandler sent to a Federal Prison? He's already on federal parole for match fixing/points shaving. He then commits DUI, resists arrest, damages police property, flees arrest, leaves the scene of an accident, has an open liquor container. I'm not going to list Grand Theft Auto because thats a bullsh1t charge. How did people NOT notice Courtney Cox Arquette in this film (and since when did she get breasts?)
On the whole this film is a POINTLESS remake. I assume Happy Madison is Sandlers company? Burt Reynolds should never have attached himself to this, he's lost a lot of credibility - however much he had left.
Chris Rock is the best thing in this film and he's f()cking awful so that's saying something.
In a film that's a remake of a remake I laughed once. Lets see - the longest yard 1974 (US) which was sold as the mean machine in the UK, remade as a UK mean machine then remade again into this huge pile of camel dung again as the longest yard.
Now I did some checking up, Richard Kiel aka jaws from James Bond was in the original and he was in Happy Gilmore too, couldn't Adam Sandler persuade him to be in this as well?
Adam Sandler, find something better to do with your time. Just don't waste ours with this tripe.