Entertaining, but not one of Sandler's best.

Rating: 7/10 (27 May 2005)

What exactly is The Longest Yard? Is it merely a movie that follows the adventures of an imprisoned former NFL quarterback as he assembles a rag tag group of hardened criminals into a football team and then prepares them to play against a team consisting of the prison guards? Or is it a lesson in breaking the laws of physics? After all, a yard is a yard, correct? How can any one yard be longer than another? It's impossible, right? Well, yes, but the movie never addresses the issue. So we'll accept this as a football comedy.
But is it more than a comedy? Is it a warning about us as a society? Honestly, what is it about our human nature that causes us to cheer on a football team consisting of convicted murderers and probably even rapists? Sure, the prison guards are painted in a negative light, but is that reason enough to root for a group of criminals? Is this Adam Sandlerized social commentary? No, of course not. But unfortunately, the movie does seem to have a slight identity crisis at times. Overall, this is a fun, entertaining movie. The action and jokes come at us fast amidst the backdrop of classic rock. That's all well and good, but I was a little dismayed that things were more dramatic than I expected. Plus, the third act focused mainly on the football game.
I enjoyed watching the big hits, the dropkicks, and the clotheslines, but it's just one of those things where once you watch the game and see how it plays out, there's not much incentive to go back and watch it again. The laughs are sufficient, but the movie simply doesn't measure up to Sandler's best comedies.
My enjoyment also waned a little whenever the movie dipped into "least common denominator" humor territory. I suppose some people will laugh uproariously at the prisoners who are dressed as women and posing as cheerleaders. These people are whom I like to refer to as "the easily entertained." But I guess I'm just one of those guys who doesn't really enjoy looking at men in skimpy outfits grinding against each other. If the thought of a scantily clad, transvestite Tracy Morgan makes you as sick as it does me, then keep your trusty yellow bucket handy.
I was also hoping Sandler wouldn't be quite so subdued. He's still funny, but things get a little awkward when he turns into Mr. Conflicted Emotions and plays the hero. That's nice, Adam, but can't you talk in a funny voice at least a couple of times? No? Fine. Whatever, Mr. Forget Your Niche.
Oh well, I guess I just come from the Happy Gilmore and The Wedding Singer school of Adam Sandler comedies, so I was a little disappointed that The Longest Yard wasn't in the same vein. It's still pretty entertaining, but darn it all, I want to know which yard is the longest, and I want to see the proof! I still say all yards are the same. That's what sequels are for, I suppose. Man I'm a dork.
THE GIST
To be completely honest, The Longest Yard can wait for a DVD rental, especially if you're on the fence about it. It's not like there are any great special effects that just have to be seen on the big screen. Entertaining? Yes, but I won't be adding it to my DVD collection. Worth $8+ per person? Nah. Make it a rental or a matinée.