Furthe proof that Adam Sandler has lost it

Rating: 3/10 (29 October 2005)

I can't believe audiences these days. They'll sit through mindless and dull crap like this while a cinematic masterpiece like Cinderella Man tanks at the box office. Truly pathetic, if you ask me. Basically, this is your typical post-Wedding Singer Adam Sandler movie, which is (other than Punch Drunk Love) a very bad thing to say about a movie. Yes, there's the obligatory groin-kick jokes. Yes, there are plenty of penis/ass rape jokes. Finally, there is the lame Rob Schneider cameo in which he yells "You can do it!" Ha. Hilarious. Right? Wrong. This film lacks any genuine laughs or clever moments. Everything from the shameful product placement ("Oh, Halo 2?! I didn't know that it was out yet!") to an attempt to tackle serious issues like racism just makes this one of those useless remakes. Honestly, my IQ must have dropped 50 points after seeing this steaming pile of poo.
The subplots, too, are absolutely ridiculous and never fully developed. The whole deal about Paul Crewe in the NFL scandal was waaay over my head and the thing about the assassination came of very awkward. The characters in this film are almost completely one note characters. I got sick of the constant penis jokes for Stone Cold's character, or all of the gay jokes about that Hispanic guy. Did I mention that it wasn't funny? Basically, all I can say is that if you like seeing people get kicked in the crotch(and that must happen 2 dozen times in this film) or if you're one of those kids who votes for Adam Sandler every single year for the Kids' Choice Awards, you might like this film. All I can tell you is that I have never seen the original, and I don't want to now that I've seen this disaster. Worst movie of Summer 2005 other than Fantastic 4.