Terrible Movie

Rating: 3/10 (9 June 2005)

The Longest Yard was a movie with great potential. It had two of the hottest comedians around in Sandler and Rock, a recognizable name for the older crowd in Burt Reynolds, an excellent villain in James Cromwell(watch LA Confidential if you don't believe me), and finally it was based off of a pretty good original (which starred Burt Reynolds). Despite all this the sum of the parts was disappointing. Here is why.
The plot holes are enormous. Sandler does not look anything like a football player for obvious reasons of stature. The scene where the guards try to pick a fight with Nelly is ridiculous because when he doesn't fight back the guards don't do anything. Earlier in the movie Sandler is beaten up by the guards without picking a fight and they were looking to injure Nelly. They didn't want to injure Sandler.
Many of the jokes were way overused and stale. Cheeseburger Eddie was not funny at all and his putting a burger on Rock's grave was almost insulting. The male cheerleaders in drag was not very funny the FIRST time they showed them. By the end of the movie the cheerleaders had been on the screen for at least 10 minutes. The football player on estrogen was funny however. But only for the first few times. They just kept showing it and showing it. Keeping with the overuse theme, the use of the slow-motion technique. The first time with Nelly running was cool. After that is was boring. I think that movie would have been another 10 minutes shorter if that was taken out.
Finally the script was just bad. It gave Rock nothing to sink his teeth into. Sandler looked like he was bored half the time. And many scenes were just not needed (the secretary who has the hots for Sandler, the Brucie character's on again of again relationship with the lead male cheerleader).
I will admit i laughed at some scenes. The cameo by Rob Schneider was funny. The whole scene leading up to Sandler's arrest was funny. I also enjoyed the cameos by the football players and announcers. Irvin and Chris Berman especially. But it just wasn't enough to save the movie. I'm saying this as a big fan of both Sandler and Rock. I love Waterboy and Happy Gilmore, but The Longest Yard is nowhere near up to the standards of those two.