Visually Impressive but Suffers from Cliché Dialogue & Bad History

Rating: 4/10 (31 December 2007)

During the couple of decades after World War II, Hollywood made movies about the war that were really fantasies disguised as histories. Many aspects about World War II are incorrectly portrayed in "The Longest Day". First, not all of the German high command were complete idiots. Second, not all the French were in favor of the allied invasion. And last but not least, it was not as easy for soldiers coming from the naval war carriers to hit the beach at Normandie. When it was released, "The Longest Day" was probably appropriate for its audiences who were only a stones throw away from the war and probably wanted to see escapist fair. However, 45 years later, the film does not uphold as well against far more realistic depictions of war such as "Platoon", "Saving Private Ryan", even "Patton". Except for a sequence in the latter part of the movie in which the allied forces move inland, much of the movie suffers from too many clichés, too many unrealistic situations, and dialog that has become almost laughable.
If someone who had never been taught anything about World War II were to see this movie, he or she might well believe that all the Americans were heroes, the English were constantly ingenious, the French loved Americans (and maybe the English too), and the Germans were a bunch of nincompoops. The problem may go deeper as this is the portrait that is often painted in US High School text books. The picture on this Hollywood canvas is over the top idealism in both directions.
It's hard to believe, based on this movie, that the Germans were smart enough to get their uniforms on correctly, let alone almost capture Europe. When the Germans learn of the shrewd moves made by the allies, their reactions remind me of the bad guys in the old Batman TV show. Or maybe Colonel Clink in Hogan's Heros. The Germans either blow their tops (I almost expected smoke to start coming out of their ears) or they dismiss what they're hearing. The movie shows a German lookout at the beach becoming frantic, dropping his binoculars at the sight of all the war ships. When he phones the high command, they at first insist that the allies don't even have that many ships before realizing the invasion is on and they go crazy. And the few references to Hitler make him seem more like a spoiled grammar school boy than one of the most feared men in the world. One officer says that the Führer is having another one of his tantrums.
The problem is the movie rarely breaks away from its own cliché rhetoric. The characters constantly talk about "making history" and heroism as if ground soldiers would say such things in the heat of battle. It just gets a little much. While the German high command are insulting each other, the American and British high command are portrayed as much more organized and deliberate in their actions. Robert Mitchum and John Wayne who play the high ranking officers at the ground level seemed like they were plucked out of a novel rather than portraying real people. Every line, every command, and every decision is prophetic. And the men obey their commands as if they came from Moses! And every time the allied forces were about to attack, a high ranking officer always prefaces it with a patriotic speech! Maybe that was a motivation to go and fight so you didn't have to hear another one!
The actual invasion at the beach is probably the weakest and least realistic aspect of the entire film. In reality scores of men were mowed down by gunfire long before they ever got to the beach. Here, about 1 in 50 seems to get hit by gunfire. I guess the Germans just weren't very good shots. Another rather insulting piece of Hollywood melodrama shows a Frenchman becoming overly ecstatic at the appearance of the allied forces at the Normandy beaches. (I guess he couldn't wait to get an autograph from a movie star, considering just about every major Hollywood talent was drafted into this movie, including Richard Burton and Roddy McDowell.) In reality, the attitude toward the invasion was more ambivalent. There were many French who were not thrilled with the allied invasion, but these diversities are never touched upon.
There are some good visuals in the film, and some great shots from above. Overall, a rather mixed movie that has a few moments of interest and a lot of cliché silly lines, and parts that are simply bad history. But as the old adage says, the heroes write the history. Or re-write it.