Strange and Dark

Rating: 1/10 (31 January 2017)

There were elements on this movie that did not need to be in it.
For one, there was no need to bring up "sexual orientation" when Farrell was checking into his hotel nor was there any need to have any ambiguities suggested. There is no need to ruin a film with any such references especially when it is irrelevant to the remainder of the film. To whom does the director appeal?
Moreover, there's no need for all the weird references to abnormal sex, such as doing it "up the arse." More so, the various sexual aspects of this film was so weird, disturbing, that if young teenagers watch they may be forever scarred.
In all, the only sexy scene in the whole movie is a pretty girl (in bikini) doing backstrokes in a swimming pool. It was a nice respite, and sadly so brief, from the horrors this film embodies.
That said, let's get on with the movie.
When each guest checks into the hotel, they get to choose which animal they would like to be if they fail to find a mate - Farrell chooses he'd be a lobster if he's to be transformed to an animal. If there's any sense at all in the world, everyone would choose to be a porpoise or other high functioning animal and at least retain their minds. Instead, Farrell wants to be a lobster, others want to be ponies, parrots, etc. Dumb.
To make it more weird and stupid, the mates that everyone wants to find must have similar characteristics - short-sighted for short-sighted, a limp for a limp. Things like that.
And there's the incongruities throughout.
For one, if the guests run away into the woods rather than be made an animal, they aren't even allowed to enjoy their freedom but enter a different kind of hell where any attraction and affection between themselves will result in mutilation. Such an inhuman trait for those who want to remain so.
Then finally, at the end, there's too many unanswered questions - one must surmise how the young couple get by in their new condition - how do they get past the authorities - how do they get around safely - do they even survive exiting the restaurant?
This movie in short is one of the dumbest, unsatisfying experiences I've ever had the misfortune to waste my life on.
On the plus side, the cinematography was quite nicely done - could've taken off the ND filters and given the film more pleasant light but that's the director's prerogative I suppose.