Fails at everything it tries to achieve

Rating: 2/10 (6 February 2016)

The Lobster is a load of pretentious BS, to put it simply. It's core message is an incredibly simple one, and one that the director seems to think is much more profound than it actually is. As an allegory, it's incredibly confusing - both sides are clearly meant to be villainous, but in terms of what they represent, it's black-and-white - being in a relationship or not. The audience becomes so confused that they just stop listening to what it represents, and As a story, it just doesn't work. Nobody has even a slight reason for doing anything. Society's reason for the relationship thing is never explained. The lady kills the dog for no reason. The singles are pointlessly mean and petty, and the protagonist is stupid for even trying to be with them. It's a flimsy narrative that falls apart under the slightest observation.
The film tried to advertise itself as a comedy, but if it weren't for the marketing, i would never had realised. It just wasn't funny. Not even slightly. Any jokes there were were either so poorly executed that they didn't even seem like jokes, or just not funny in concept. There's also a load of gore that has no reason for being there. I was covering my eyes for half of the 3rd act of the film expecting something horrible to happen (and it did often).
To put it simply, The Lobster is the worst kind of bad film: a bad film thinks it's way better than it actually is. it thinks it's funny when it isn't, it thinks it's deep when it isn't, and critics seem to think that it's good when it isn't. Don't watch this film.