A lifeless fairy tale set in an ugly, terrifying sun scorched land

Rating: 1/10 (18 August 2019)

As a lovely white British Barbarian, I found this film absolutely pathetic. Not only is it a remake and therefore has no creativity whatsoever but it's also from what I've heard a very bad remake indeed, you would've thought remakes would've been easier to make better than the original due to more time to come up with enhanced themes, better quotes and better settings but no this film did the seemingly impossible and made a remake about twice as bad as the original. No thanks to some of the stupid black people that have helped produced it.
I was also infuriated by the setting, I'm used to living in lovely green cool forests and meadows but this film was set in the most vile of all places, the setting especially the desert looked so hot it made me sweat just looking at it! So that was no fun at all and it seemed very unrealistic for talking beasts to realistically survive in such a foul climate and land so that made the film seem like a complete joke. There's a lot of magic where I'm from and whilst I've seen many different kinds of exotic talking animals they could've made chosen more pretty and more British animals to do the talking so that was disappointing. Last but not least, I was infuriated by the severe lack of violence and gore so I couldn't get my love balls stirring at the cinema due to the lack of violence and gore which made me very unhappy indeed.