A truly wonderful film if you have given up on any joy in life.

Rating: 1/10 (31 March 2020)

If you thaught the origional had to much emotion, to many jokes and disliked the magic, never fear for this movie is for you!
For two hours prepare for a treat for the eyes that's got such good CGI the animals are genuinely emotionless! And what's more, as a special treat, the dialogue has been read so flatly and quickly it won't convey any emotion either! Character quirks, witty one liners, fun catchy (well sang) songs, bah, who needs them, it's all been chucked in the bin! This is the version of the film that's cut out all the kids stuff and (even though you know the story) crowbars in some terribly clunky exposition! And if your worried that the amazing cast ensemble will somehow rescue this, delightful to look at, but dreary re-telling, never fear, I can promise you that you won't even realise you are listening to professionals!
I'm summary, are you are the kind of person who's favourite part of going to the beach is getting sand in their crack? Or perhaps you enjoy a nice hot tub whilst wearing jeans and a bomber jacket? Playing football in sandals? If you can take something truly enjoyable and make it an uncomfortable mess....................
then this my friend is the perfect film for you.