Visually stunning, emotional flatline. Pretty packaging and no heart.

Rating: 2/10 (7 September 2019)

This movie was a marvel in how far CGI technology has come, and the artistry and sheer work that goes into creating an entirely CGI photorealistic movie.
That being said, choosing what is essentially known as "Disney's Hamlet," a deeply emotionally resonating, musical storytelling masterpiece as the one film to showcase how you can make a lion look exactly like a lion, down to the movement of individual hairs and light dynamics, was a huge mistake. People didn't love the original Lion King because it had lions, any more than they loved Beauty and the Beast because it had anthropomorphized dancing candlesticks in it.
They loved and respected that Disney could tell fundamentally human stories with characters that were not themselves human, and use music and animation to channel the heart and soul of these characters directly into those of the audience. The lions were designed to have more human features, to express those emotions, and animation filled in the gaps of what was not physically possible. RESPECT THE FORMAT OF 2D ANIMATED STORYTELLING, AND STOP TRYING TO FILE CONVERT IT TO CGI.
Nobody cared that the lions don't look exactly like lions, because they were too enthralled in the storytelling and what they're feeling to care. Taking away the emotional heart of the movie with characters that don't emote in a way audiences can identify with flatlined this movie.
I watched this movie as part of a double feature, with Tarantino's Once Upon A Time in Hollywood, because they had cheap tickets for Labour Day weekend. I watched OUATIH first, and the Lion King after, because sometimes Tarantino can be a little heavy, and I thought watching a childhood favourite would be a nice light way to end the evening. Boy, was I wrong. Once Upon A Time was such a great movie, fun and gripping and surprisingly laugh-out-loud hilarious, and then to go into this movie, which just undid everything the original did, killed my buzz and made me sit there in stunned silence for the majority of the movie, pondering what the original filmmakers could have done to deserve this treatment.
"Can You Feel the Love Tonight" didn't even take place at night?! Wtf. And definitely not the right song for vocal gymnastics, Beyonce. Flex on the strength of your gorgeous pipes, not practice scales.
I miss the days when Disney used mostly unknown voice talent and Broadway talents, making stars, instead of paying out a ton of money to big-name celebrities, who can't even sing, or whose singing don't fit the character. I'm looking at you, Chiwetel Ejiofor, and your spoken-word "Be Prepared" .... poem? Makes me think of Lindsey Ellis' youtube vid about Disney vs Robin Williams, and how this whole accursed trend started.
I love the fact that they are actually trying to represent characters by casting actors of appropriate ethnic backgrounds. Representation is important!! But damn, what about all the fantastic actors of African descent that have absolutely crushed the stage productions of the Lion King? How was the role of Timon given to Billy Eichner without so much as an audition, when Tituss Burgess literally had a whole storyline on Kimmy Schmidt about being in a bootleg version of the Lion King? Aside from being an openly gay, talented Broadway star, like another certain Timon we know?
Honestly, I wanted to see this film in theatres, because I knew the CGI was going to be stunning, and 50-foot screens really deliver on that end. I just wasn't prepared for the emotional fallout and sense of betrayal I was left with all the way through this. I can't imagine how the original filmmakers feel, especially when all their hard work is being copy/pasted into a new movie, and they're probably not seeing a dime.
I was going to give this a 4, but after all this, I think it's going down to 2. Jesus.