Snor-a-rama!

Rating: Null/10 (10 November 2000)

I just didn't like it. I can not stand when a director, in this case Robert Redford, thinks by giving me emotional music and a huge helping of gosh golly characters , I'm gonna feel for the movie. It was about GOLF, not characters!
The cinematography was well done- but they cheesed out and used about four sets to give the period piece a look of a low budget network miniseries.

The paper mache characters were a snore. Wafer thin and grating on the nerves with there buck-tooth behaviours.
LOBV story goes... Randolf Junuh (Demon, er, Damon), the local Savanian big wig waspy golf pro/champion is back from the war (WW1). He's a bit bug house in the head and poor devil just can't seem to get his golf swing back. Sniff.
However, when his city of Savannah calls on him to defend their honor in a high stakes golf tournament- held by his ex-love Adele Invergordon (Charlize Theron)- he normals hisself right up.
The quintessential mad man's beard is shaved, his hobo hat traded for a Harvard Buzz, and his paupers pants chucked for Argyles and wools. Okay, he's not entirely normal Norman again. He wanes back and forth 'tween golf player and life loser.
Even with the mysterious stranger, Baggar Vance (Will Smith) by his side giving him golfing tips and Buddism- metaphysical-motivational-lectures Randy may just lose the game. Heaven forbid!
The characters are not 3D enough for us to give two hearty hoots. The subject- is more about a golf game than anything else- gets old nano-fast. I am happy to say I have not seen this much golf in my entire young life. Nor did I ever intend to.
Damon plays Randy with his usual nonchalant style to perfection. He seems so dull, no? His work never has any zing. Admittedly, Matt's getting to be quite the breedable stallion in the stable. However there's that one snaffu, his colossal teeth are still simply frightening in a "are the dang things gonna leap outta the boy's mouth and start biting folk?" way. But the choppers aside, this mansteak looks quite edible in his 1920's wardrobe. Yep, my- tea--fine. Got to love a man in British wools. Yummy.
Poor Will Smith on the other hand, is reduced to an Uncle Tomish sort of duh-ha, well that's just malarkey thar missus, and yessin' sir boss man. He's that all "knowing" without tellin' style of guardian angel. Snore.
Charlene Tiltawhirlaron was good. In fact all the actors were good even the boy J Michael Moncrief. But he's no Haley Joel Osment. It's just BV' s subject/plot was so dang dull. I mean Peter Frampton Live with Poison as an opening act dull. Pass.
Even double Dutch chocolate treat Will Smith couldn't keep the sand man from sneaking about my seat and side swiping me into a comatose state. I snored as loud as a 515 train pulling into boogaloo Station a few times.
Dixie cup review? LOBV didn't keep this gal's interest. I was hoping it would end so I could get home and rewatch Sid And Nancy.It tries so hard to be an artsy beautiful film, but for all it's pomp and stance Redford's produced a snor-a-rama with dead dull dialog. Justin' aint all that interesting- no how.
Snack recommendation: Muffins with warm butter.