Dances with Samurai

Rating: 5/10 (24 March 2008)

Imagine someone giving you a neatly wrapped, elegant package: you open it and it's empty. That's what blockbusters like The Last Samurai feel like: great photography, costumes and set design, an A-list star surrounded by solid character actors, a few nicely choreographed scenes... and yet it's vapid, pointless fare.
Lt. John Dunbar - I'm sorry, I meant Captain Nathan Algren (Cruise) - trains the Japanese Emperor's troops against rebel Samurai led by Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe). Of course Algren is the only survivor of a disastrous skirmish caused by his superiors' arrogant incompetence, of course he is captured, of course he discovers the nobility of the Samurai way of life contrasting with the sleazy mediocrity of their enemies - not the young Emperor, who, of course, is misguided but noble, although not as noble as Katsumoto, who of course comes across as a mix between Crazy Horse and Obi-wan Kenobi.
Question of the week: what on Earth does an American character have to do with this distinctly Japanese tale? Well, obviously he gives western audiences a white hero to identify with! Because we couldn't possibly relate to a story with only Japanese characters! (Sarcasm detectors should be beeping at this point). It goes without saying Algren becomes an accomplished Samurai in a ludicrously short time, finds the love of a pretty widow - funny how in this kind of movie NOTHING is worth doing (no quest, no fight for an ideal) if you don't get laid in the process - and is quickly worshipped by the same people he had set out to destroy. In fact, there are so many scenes in which he saves the day and is gazed at with awe that I wanted to throw something at the screen.
Cruise is a generally solid actor but here he gives a standard "stoic, brooding Cruise" performance. Watanabe is excellent, dignified and charismatic; Connolly and Spall are pretty good; the whole thing is as glossy as a luxury car commercial. The result is an oriental remake of Dances with Wolves, only without guts - and, although the last battle is slick eye-candy, hearing comparisons between The Last Samurai and the works of the late Akira Kurosawa is truly depressing.
5,5/10