A long, boring let down

Rating: 1/10 (9 December 2003)

***MILD SPOILERS*** I had such high hopes for this movie. But, with my high hopes came cautious pessimism. Of course I knew way ahead of time that Tom Cruise was the star of this movie, and he has proven time and time again that any movie that he so much as touches is ALWAYS ruined. The same holds true for "THE LAST SAMURAI." This movie was way too long, drawn out, and just plain boring.

The plot is not only thin, it is underdeveloped and vague. Tom Cruise delivers a HORRIBLE job, filled with over acting. Right from the start we see Cruise as a "drunken, troubled military hero." His performance is absolutely embarassing to watch. The rest of the movie leading up to the poorly motivated action sequences are filled with long shots of the characters looking at each other. This is supposed to be the characters looking in disbelief or having a moment of epithany, but it is so over done it looks like the characters are about to KISS eachother!

I could go on and on about all the parts that are horribly wrong with this movie. In particular (SPOILER ALERT) I will mention that Cruise is shot MULTIPLE TIMES with a .50 CALIBRE GATLIN GUN and he SURVIVES. IMPOSSIBLE! Also, the flashbacks were SO amatuerish! I couldn't believe it! Zwick has been to film school, he should know better than to try to use flashbacks to develope his characters. That kind of thing is better left to the real professionals. What a doofus!
The only decent scene in the movie is when Cruise is training his new troops and the superior officer comes down and declares them ready for battle. So this sparks the drama between Cruise and his superior officer. Cruise argues that the men are not ready. As the stakes are raised in the argument, Cruise places himself in front of the men and commands them to fire on him. That was a good scene, it was well written with good conflict and good tension...TOO BAD THAT SOLDIER WASN'T A BETTER SHOT! He would have killed off Cruise and saved the rest of my evening from being ruined!

In short, let me just say that if you want to see a REAL Samurai movie, go watch one of the many Akira Kurasowa classics. If you have had the priveledge of viewing "THE SEVEN SAMURAI," then you know why I am slamming "THE LAST SAMURAI." Akira had NO WHERE NEAR THE BUDGET when he made his classics, and yet they are all MORE exciting than this overblown pile of crap! If you have not watched "YOJIMBO," or "SANJURO," or "THE SEVEN SAMURAI," or "THE HIDDEN FORTRESS," then you have no idea what a good Samurai movie is. It is THAT simple. If Akira Kurasowa had the emense displeasure of sitting through "THE LAST SAMURAI," he would just sit there and shake his head. So much missed opportunity! So much wasted effort! "THE LAST SAMURAI" is SO BORING! I hated it!
That night, after I sat through the TORTUROUS 3 hours of "THE LAST SAMURAI" I went home and watched "SANJURO." That satisfied my longing for Samurai
action. Of course, my favorite Samurai movie is "THE SEVEN SAMURAI," and if you have not seen that movie, then you don't know anything about film.