spoonfed halfwits rejoice!

Rating: Null/10 (23 October 2004)

the last samurai was a really, really bad movie. blatantly historically inaccurate, with a theme was so misguided that it's sad. the white civil war officer is tired of the blind hatred and bigotry of the oppressive US gov. so, in order to appease his jiminy cricket, he joins up with the oppressive powers that were in japan, in order to save a culture he likens to that of the native Americans. that's sick. the samurai murdered and trod upon the people of japan for centuries, controlling the peasantry with an iron fist and taking what they wanted at a whim to fund their perpetual warring. so this guy, who's tired of hate and killing, decides to try and save a social caste whose very purpose was to make endless war.
sure, the samurai were into pageantry and self indulgent artistic foppery, but murderers one and all nonetheless. I'm sure Custer loved poetry too, it does not make him anymore the romantic underdog to be rooted for. finally, after he's failed to save the dying culture, it seems cruise has been spattered with enough blood to become a zen philosopher. "I'll tell you how he lived" has got to be one of the most pretentious lines I have ever heard delivered in a film, especially considering he utters the afore mentioned travesty to a woman who knows very well, far better than tom, how the watanabe's character lived his life.
apart from the very premise being completely suspect, the acting is laughable, the dialogue cringe worthy and the whole bombastic mess is just that, a sloppy epic slapped together as per formula. in my opinion this was one of the worst films I've seen in the past 5 years, and I'm shocked and a little sad that this managed to crack the top 250 on this website.
I give the last samurai a lowly 45%