Horrible

Rating: 1/10 (23 January 2005)

This movie was horrible. Sure it had pretty scenery, and sure the Japanese martial arts were cool, but its hard to get past the basic story line: "White man disillusioned with the Capitalist western world goes to Japan to stop evil Japanese businessmen from disrupting the rustic lives of the noble samurai and defend the honor of the emperor." Never mind that the samurai weren't that noble (other rustic societies include the pre-Civil War South...slavery anyone?...and weren't the samurai known for killing innocent people at random?) and that the emperor wasn't always that great of a guy. Never mind that the noble samurai in the movie lived in veritable shacks and spent every day sword fighting while their women toiled for them. Never mind that Tom Cruise got shot through like Swiss cheese by a Gatling gun and then GOT UP AND WALKED AWAY.
What this movie (and many others) needed was Arnold Schwarzenegger to kill all the stupid samurais with blow-darts, liberate the poor samurai women, and then put Tom Cruise in a basket and then roll him down the mountain.