Stir Fry

Rating: 6/10 (7 December 2004)

**Spoilers ahead but not really if you think about it**
Start with one pinch of Gladiator, two parts Dances with Wolves, four parts of Braveheart, and a generous serving of Glory. Release the Tom Cruise in all his rabid, teeth-gritting, brow-furrowing intensity. Mix.
The result of all this inbreeding is the most predictable movie of the year.
Here is what you might guess The Last Samurai is about, given the trailers and assuming you've seen more than three Hollywood movies in the past 20 years:
White man is thrown into far-off, exotic culture. White man clashes with the savage locals. White man is eventually moved by aforementioned, exotic culture. White men wins over the respect of the exotic locals by beating them at their own games and revealing his own areas of superiority. White man joins exotic locals in their struggle, they all fight valiantly against impossible odds, but lose anyway because they are a fading breed of far-off exotics. The only expectation LS failed to deliver was a gratuitous sex scene starring white man and a female member of the exotic natives (though yes, he does get her).
So yes, this has all been done before. But for the most part, the cliché plot elements are tastefully handled. There were one or two absolutely cheesy scenes that had me retching in my seat, but all-in-all the movie rarely gets too emotionally ridiculous.
Towards the end, I realized Cruise's character could have been removed entirely from the movie and it would have been just as good, maybe better. I give The Last Samurai a 6 / 10: worth watching but nothing special.
Oh and don't forget to add ninjas, because Americans LOVE ninjas. Remember those turtles?