So many clichés, it hurts

Rating: 3/10 (1 March 2005)

Imagine a movie about France, set in Paris. Imagine everyone there walking around with three baguettes under their arms, and add some bottles of wine. The men wear striped shirts and play pétanque everywhere they go, and ceaselessly sing chansons and discuss the writings of Michel Foucault. The women wear polka dot skirts and say oh la la. And here comes Tom Cruise, rolling his eyes and sighing 'It's all soooo French!'
That's The Last Samurai in a nutshell, only it's set in 19th century Japan and not in France. Samurai are primitive yet sophisticated and honorable men, meditating, reciting the heart sutra, writing haiku's, sipping green tea, enjoying kabuki theater, and contemplating the falling cherry blossoms all the freaking time. It all amounts to an okayish action flick marred by a stupendously shallow look at (and understanding of) Japanese culture. Half a Kurosawa movie like 'Seven Samurai' weighs more than ten Last Samurais.
Dances with samurai, indeed. What would 'tatanka' be in Japanese?