Hail Cheeser!

Rating: 1/10 (12 January 2008)

What have the Romans ever done for us? According to this awful movie,just about everything you never wanted to know and were too asleep by the end of their empire that you should be afraid - very afraid to ask. Asking 'how much?' was obviously about as far as any of the major players on this production got before signing on the dotted line and entering into the twilight zone of history misrepresented to the point of cringing farce by this mixed up kid of myth and celuloiditus. Spoilers? If one were to mount formula one skirts and rockets to this drivel it still wouldn't be enough to get it across the finish line. Of course, we get used to pretending that we're entertained by rubbish most of the time these days, but to think that the people who make this stuff actually believe in what they're doing is very creepy and says a lot about the egocentric nature of 'the biz'. Good luck gnawing your way through this millennium cold slice of pizza.