Do not watch this film!

Rating: 1/10 (11 October 2007)

Somebody compared this film to Gladiator when trying to defend its historical inaccuracies but the thing about Gladiator is that it was actually a good film. If this film has been well-written, entertaining, or appeared to have a budget of more than a few hundred pounds spent on it then maybe it would have been able to get away with some of its other flaws. There was no characterisation AT ALL, the plot was so mundane and predictable I wanted to claw my own eyes out and the acting was utterly insipid which is hardly surprising as I imagine the cast members with any degree of talent (and in particular Sir Ben Kingsley) must have been crying themselves to sleep every night that their careers have come to this. People have also commented along the lines of "at least it's better than King Arthur". That's like saying getting punched in the face is better than getting kicked in the balls. I'll take neither thanks. To anyone who hasn't seen this yet and is thinking about doing so all I can say is don't. Under any circumstances. Ever. Just sit at home, watch Gladiator again and congratulate yourself on what a lucky escape you've had. I only hope that the company that made this film spent as little money on it as it looks like they did, otherwise they're in for a massive loss. Or maybe they deserve that.