What a let-down

Rating: 5/10 (2 November 2019)

First, I have to state the obvious - for a person who is not well-versed in history or simply doesn't care for it one bit and wants some action on the screen with a few good-sounding lines for trailers with a bit of added flavour in the sense of this being set in the Middle Ages - this is absolutely passable and you may even get some fun out of it.
For someone who is a little bit more knowledgeable of the history behind the reign of Henry V, the politics of Middle Ages and more precisely of the politics surrounding Battle of Agincourt and the related events and persons, this piece is utterly dreadful. This movie doesn't do justice either to the history nor the Shakespearean take on the events which seems to form the bigger part of its basis.
The movie starts out dreadfully slow and seems stretched out for no reason at all. The clear centre of the story is the Battle of Agincourt and instead of beginning out with Henry V being a drunkard for half an hour or even more, this part of it all could've been a lot shorter (this is just my opinion thus far).
The moment I felt that this movie is getting out of hand in its depiction of the events that transpired early in Henry V's reign was however when all of the sudden, the English were going into battle, the plot was so thin that I didn't even properly understand that war had now begun, it seemed almost comedic how the Henry in the movie had wanted peace all this time and for the smallest reasons, on almost a whim, decided to go into war with France which was by far a superior force in terms of size and population.
The second moment I felt that this is getting into the territory of being a parody of itself was however when Pattinson came on "stage" with his French accent, why on earth was this horrible mockery necessary - it wasn't and it adds nothing to the movie.
The third moment which really gets under my skin is the battle itself. The battle is clearly inspired by the Battle of Bastards in Game of Thrones, which is fine in itself but the battle starts to make very little sense when you start thinking about English longbows - which are most famously related to the battle at Agincourt. The longbows were so far off from the French, it seemed two stadium-lengths, that there is no way these could have ever reached the French, the distances in the battle and the way the French fell, was totally absurd.
The fourth moment when the movie seemed akin to parody was when the character of Pattinson went on the battlefield. No leader of armies ever enters the battlefield like that and especially in a way that battle would simply stop immediately. This is so weird because in first, the battle was depicted as pure chaos, as should be, then the moviemakers suddenly forget it and it seems like a small brawl where on first signal all quiets down, war doesn't work like that. Then Pattinson just skids around on mud and Englishmen jump on him with no interference from the French. How? What? Why?
All in all, the reason I'm writing this tirade is that the movie has so much potential, it looks sublime on screen and really does mostly justice to the era in its depiction of armies etc. But somehow, the simple plot plodded on the actual historic events comes loose at its hinges, Henry V is depicted as this holier than holy character to I suppose appease those wanting to get a modern take on the events in 1415, and to top it all of, the French side of the battle (people who could have been great villains) are simply used for comedic effect.
This leaves me with the sad realisation that for all its potential, the movie just isn't worth its running time. This is all the more baffling as flicks like Outlaw King have shown how to do justice to the genre without really having too much to do. This movie however while having all the right bits and pieces seemingly, simply doesn't get the job done for anybody who is actually a little bit familiar with the history of the event or the dramatic take on it by Shakespeare. The betrayal plot added to the events (Chief Justice and Henry V stabbing him to death) is the biggest offender in this, history and Shakespearean dramatisation of the time period have more than enough drama, antagonists and protagonists to highlight on the big screen without this immensely pointless added plot and mockery of Pattinson as an actor.
All in all, if you want a good take on Henry V's rise to throne and the Battle of Agincourt, stay away. If you want to netflix and chill with your significant other watching some swordfighting and Pattinson making a French accent, go for it!