Italian whatnow?

Rating: 7/10 (18 August 2003)

Okay. This is a remake. And I usually try to judge remakes on their own merits. I usually end up failing, often because the remake HAS no merits (eg. Get Carter, Planet o' the Apes). This movie, however, DOES have quite a bit going for it, it's just that the original Italian Job happens to be one of my all-time favourite movies. So I found it pretty difficult not to think of it while watching this.
In theory, this movie should have been crap. First of all, it's set in America. I'm not going into buy into the argument between the English and American film types...
English: You're butchering a classic, a film which defined 60's Britain, blahdy blahdy blah!
American: Yeah, but you're just jealous 'cos we're better 'an you.
...for the simple reason that I don't belong to either nationality, and am therefore unqualified. Not that I have any allegiance either way. Honest.
Come on, people! There are plenty of other frivolous reasons to fight wars. You don't need to start one over a Mark Wahlberg movie.
My problem with it being set in America is that the movie is called "The Italian Job", and not "The American Job". Yes, I know the job at the start of the movie is pulled in Venice, in BOATS ("Boats?" I hear you ask? "In Venice?"), but that's not really the focus, is it? I suppose, at least, they HAVE chosen to set the main job in a city (LA) where not much effort is needed to create gridlock. But planning to leave themselves a thoroughfare in the chaos kind of defeats the purpose of using Minis, which were used in the original due to their ability to fit through tight spaces in shopping malls, drive through narrow drains and turn on the proverbial "dime". Bloody yanks. Sorry. Oh, yes, now I get it! They needed to clear a path because the new Minis are FRICKIN' GIGANTIC, and wouldn't FIT through the narrow spaces in Turin. So they moved it to LA, where everything's BIGGER! Even the DRAINS! IT ALL MAKES SENSE!! Kind of!! Um, maybe!!
I seem to remember saying something about merits. Um...oh yeah. The fact that this story isn't a duplicate of the original kind of makes it work like a sequel, if you forget the 30-year gap and the whole England-America thing, and think of Michael Caine and Benny Hill whizzing through Venice in a boat (well, I DID say "kind of").
The script is also pretty funny, and the team have good chemistry. Marky does fine as the straight-man, and his funky bunch of cronies work well as a team. Jason Statham (who would have made an excellent Charlie in a more faithful remake or sequel) is great as the driver and ladies' man, Handsome Rob. Seth Green is funny as Lyle, the computer hacker geek (an obvious update of Benny Hill's Professor Peach). Mos Def, one of the better rapper-turned-actors around, does a good job as Left Ear, the demolitions guy. Edward Norton is okay, but below his usual standard, as the slimy Steve. The big surprise for me, though, was Charlize Theron. I've seen her in quite a few movies, but never thought much of her. I found her kind of wooden, dull, and not even very attractive. But I thought she was great in this. Funny, cool, and very sexy. Maybe it was because she was the only one who got to drive a "real" Mini, her red Cooper S making a meal out of rush hour traffic. That scene, while entertaining, actually detracts from the rest of the movie, because it just heightens the absurdity of them opting for the NEW "brick" to pull their job. It's just product placement, I guess.
And where was Alan Cumming as Camp Freddie? Talk about a missed opportunity!
Anyway, It's a serviceable enough crime caper movie, but with logical holes big enough to drive three armoured cars through. It's no Ocean's Eleven, and it's not a patch on the original Italian Job. But it's good fun.