A re tread with a few miles left on it

Rating: Null/10 (1 June 2003)

I went to see "The Italian Job" on the recommendations of people I know. I no longer consider these people to be my friends.
This film stars Charlize Theron and three Mini-Coopers. Seth Green is good in a supporting role. Donald Sutherland is fine in a cameo. Also in the cast is Edward Norton, who delivers an undistinguished performance as the bad guy, and Mark Walberg. He is nominally the star, or at least, he gets top billing. He plays the head of the heist mob. Unfortunately for Mr. Walberg, every one of the members of his mob has a life and a personality, except him. His character is so underwritten that it would take a James Cagney or a Cary Grant to bring it to life. Not being blessed with their personalities, Mr. Walberg simply soldiers on along reciting his lines competently, but having virtually no impact on the screen. Had he dropped out half way through the picture, you would not have missed him. But again, he was given precious little to work with.
The story is a remake of a 1969 Michael Caine film about a complex heist in Venus, Italy, and after the crooks have their booty stolen from them, and even more complex heist in Los Angeles to get the swag back. Not much more needs to be said. We have all seen it before. The whole film is in reality one long build up to another big car chase, this one involving the Mini-Coopers and taking place in the tunnels of the LA subway system, which we are informed is after all, under utilized.
Forget that not a single one of the male characters is in any way believable. They really don't matter. This is a movie for people who want to kill a couple of hours and nothing more. Actually, Miss Theron's personalty throughout most of the film is probably the strongest of the lot and she does a pretty good job with her role.
She's worth seeing. So are the Minis. Are they worth $8.50 even at matinee prices?
Not really. Well, maybe Charlize is. I can see the Minis at a showroom any time I want.