ATTENTION!!!!! The TRUTH about this film!

Rating: 1/10 (26 January 2008)

QUESTION: Are you a moron whose life is determined by adverts and flashy effects, who is probably an American trailer dweller and whose only contribution to the world is to scratch yourself as you vegetate and fantasise about 'Charlie's Thong' (that's a joke about 'Charlize Theron' that wouldn't get unless I explained it)?
ANSWER OPTION 1) YES - Then, well done! You just bought a film that you would give 10 out of 10 to. You are well pleased and you're going home to eat an extra portion of 'Chunky Chicken', safe in the knowledge that Britain is a nation that doesn't make films and that exists somewhere near Argentina.
ANSWER OPTION 2) NO - Then, well done! You are able to pick up on the subtext of reviews that promote genuine film-making and heavily criticise America's brainwashing hegemony. I now pray with all my heart that you will be able to find something fulfilling to do with your evening than spend it having your brains slowly sucked out of your ear by this unmitigated, totally irredeemable drivel that does to its actors the equivalent of various humiliating sexual acts that I'm too civilised to describe!