This one is fairly smart for the genre, so please quit acting like it's xXx: State of the Union.

Rating: 8/10 (4 August 2005)

All right, I might as well go ahead and prepare to take some heat from all you Bay haters (Michael Bay, that is) out there. You ready? *ahem* *stretches neck* ... I liked The Island! There. I said it. And let me make it easy for you...
"Hey Johnny, how much is the studio payin' you?" "What up, shill? Must be nice being a studio plant." Cut and paste the one you like the best into an email and send it along. I haven't started a Cafe Press page selling "Michael Bay - World's Greatest Director" t-shirts or anything, but come on, the man knows how to deliver the action goods. The Rock is only one of the best action films of the 90s. Nicholas Cage was rockin' the Casbah in those days, and you know it. Even though I don't think there are Casbahs in North America.
Anyway, The Island is destined to be one of those movies that pleases most moviegoers, yet irritates the elitist critics. You've heard their complaints before: It's too loud! There are too many car chases! Bay's so in love with explosions that he might as well propose to them! This is just pretty people involved in action sequences! There are too many plot holes! I'm not sure why so many critics were willing to ignore some of those same issues with War of the Worlds but are so outspoken about them in regard to The Island. Still hopin' for that Spielberg interview I guess. But you know what? I like explosions! I like really cool car chase scenes! And doggone it; I thoroughly enjoyed watching Ms. Johansson run away from trouble in those tight little white jumpsuit pants of hers. Granted, the outfits are goofy. I'm pretty sure my entire family (with the exception of me) had some almost like that during the late 90s when swishy jumpsuits were all the rage. But Scarlett wears it well.
The story behind The Island might not be overly original (yes, it combines elements of Logan's Run, THX 1138, Blade Runner, The Clonus Horror, etc.), but it's fairly interesting nonetheless. And it's not a subject that is too far-fetched. You've got a company that, through a $120 billion investment, has started to clone humans. People who can afford it can have themselves cloned in case they need an organ transplant in the future. After all, it's the American dream to live forever (how else do you explain Joan Rivers' 24 face lifts?), so there are plenty of investors willing to try to expand their lifespan by 60-70 years. Have you seen what people do these days in the name of preserving their beauty? I have no doubt there are people today with enough money (and little ethical concerns regarding cloning) who'd be up for this.
However, the investors are told that the clones will be kept in a vegetative state, so when it's discovered that the organs fail without life or consciousness the hijinks begin. Sean Bean, in what has to be his 47th role as a bad guy, runs the facility and views the clones as nothing more than tools and instruments. The trick is the clones view themselves as humans. We all know that heads will eventually butt and shenanigans can't help but ensue.
The Island is a movie that has a thought-tickling message it wants to touch on, but its main goal is to give moviegoers a lot of cool things going boom in a somewhat believable and futuristic fashion. It definitely succeeds on that level, and for that reason I was able to ignore the plot holes and minor squabbles. What's harder to ignore is the blatant product placement.
Sheeeeeesh, got a few sponsors to make happy? I guess one thing Bay can't be accused of is being subtle. Prepare to be bombarded with close-ups of Xbox, MSN Search, Aquafina, Nokia, Ben & Jerry's, etc. Much like DJ Qualls' nose, it does stick out quite obviously, but if you can ignore it or laugh it off then you'll be just fine.