Pearl Habour sucked...and this does too

Rating: 4/10 (15 August 2005)

The first 1/3 of the Island was pretty enjoyable stuff. An interesting (if familiar) dystopian set up with McGregor & Johansson as confused inhabitants of a strange community.
Anyone who has seen the trailer has a sense of 'where have I seen this before?' about the look and the premise. Michael Bay aims at making something very similar to Minority Report, with little touches of the Matrix but ends up making a longer version of John Woo's terrible 'Paycheck'. Like 'Paycheck' (with Uma Thurman) good actors are put to waste with a laugh out loud bad script. We know the two main leads can act up a storm, but with a weak script both look embarrassing and unconvincing. No wonder the producers are slagging them off for it.
In supporting roles Steve Buscemi and Sean Bean are similarly wasted. The fact that we have to put up with yet another British bad guy in a Hollywood flick is another negative mark against the film.
When The Island goes into full on chase mode after the initial set up it begins a steady decline. The chase scenes are nauseating to watch, handy cam shots that genuinely make you feel ill. There are attempts at humour and romance (which fail) and the whole film drags on past the 2 hour mark when it could have easily sewn the story up much sooner.
Oh and the film also features one of the biggest clichés in film history. The scene where the characters are viewing video camera footage, they spot something and go "Hey! Wait a minute. Rewind that tape...enlarge that area. I knew it!" An unnecessary and pointless movie. In the word of Team America, "Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies?"