A soulless and insincere excuse for Michael Bay to make lots of things go crash and bang

Rating: 4/10 (15 January 2006)

STAR RATING: ***** The Works **** Just Misses the Mark *** That Little Bit In Between ** Lagging Behind * The Pits
A group of women and men exist in this world that is actually an abandoned underground military bunker. Every so often one of their number wins 'the lottery' and is selected to go to 'the island' for a seemingly better existence. But there's a problem. One of their number, Lincoln Six Echo (Ewan McGregor) has become curious and started questioning their reason for being. So when Jordan Two Delta (Scarlett Johansson) 'wins', they spring an escape- only to find the island security hot on their trail. It is on their escape that they learn of the shocking truth for their being and the deadly implications it now has.
I know I've got problems with a movie when it's been on for, what, fifteen minutes and already the plot just hasn't grabbed me- and that was definitely the case with The Island. The plot opens and it's really just a case of how? what? and who?, because it's all opened with the subtlety of a sledge hammer and you're not sure of who anyone is and what they're meant to be doing. All you see is a bunch of people wondering around in white suits like they've lost the top of their costumes and have wondered off the set of a Durex commercial. You really get the impression that Bay didn't care about the plot and just wanted to dream up any old hash to make a movie that would rake in big bucks for the summer. With a story this uninteresting, it's little wonder that the film's length (130 minutes) becomes a little too much and it all feels a bit too long.
At it's most intelligent, the story seems to be having a stab at consumerism and how in the future corporations will be able to sponsor anything- but it came far too late in the plot to make me care about the it any more, there's plausibility issues with it anyway and it seems to be owing to past such films like Blade Runner in some ways.
Performances wise, McGregor does a good American accent, but even his usually charismatic presence can't save this. As his co-star, Scarlett Johansson looks pretty but doesn't make much more of an impression. The supporting players are pretty useless. Steve Buscemi shows up and just does his usual edgy, guy trying to rationalize everything act he's been doing since Reservoir Dogs, as does Sean Bean as the no-nonsense bad guy. Djimon Hounsou is just.....Djimon Hounsou.
With all this wrong with it, you count on the action scenes to save the film, but even they fail to make an impression, shot too closely and with too much of a grey camera shot. Liked by few, The Island certainly seems to be a blockbuster 2005 would rather you didn't remember. **