The Island (2005)

Rating: 3/10 (25 February 2020)

Directed by Michael Bay. Starring Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Sean Bean, Djimon Hounsou, Steve Buscemi, Ethan Phillips, Brian Stepanek, Michael Clarke Duncan, Kim Coates, Max Baker. (PG-13)
In a contaminated future world where survivors live in a sterile, isolated compound, citizens are randomly selected by lottery to go to "the Island," the last safe place on Earth, but curious inhabitant McGregor begins to ask questions and...well, isn't it obvious? Has potential from the outset--despite the derivative nature of the premise and setting (cobbled together from "Logan's Run," "THX 1138," "The Matrix," and others, to say nothing for outright stealing from "Parts: The Clonus Horror"), there are at least well-designed visuals and eerie touches, like the tiny, arachnid-like sensors that scurry behind McGregor's eyeball. But then it degenerates into the sort of frenetic yet mechanically destructive action picture that made director Bay rich and famous; just a series of chases and fights and explosions where craft is defined by repetitive chaos and noise. And this time, the camera doesn't just leer over slo-mo demolition and the female form--it also arguably takes product placement to new levels of distraction. But anything to distract the audience from constantly asking how the indestructible protagonists are such quick studies in the real world, right?
34/100