Trash again

Rating: 1/10 (2 September 2005)

Advertising master Michael Bay releases another product to grace our screens, more popcorn aimed at young teenage boys. His previous moneymakers include: Bad boys 1&2, Pearl Harbor, The Rock and Armageddon.
Its post-apocalyptic days 15 years into the future, the few survivors happily reside in a seemingly Utopians facility. They are all waiting for their chance to go to the last uncontaminated spot on Earth- The Island.
Despite what others view as the perfect lifestyle, Lincoln Six Echo (Ewan McGregor) is perplexed by the controlled paradise. He asks the big questions: "Why can't I have bacon and what is tofu anyway?" The catalyst for his suspicions is a surreal dream where weird bald men drag him under water followed by Lincoln falling backwards into bed, featuring cinematography similar to Michel Gondry's.
After an hour long set up and two inmates dying the Island becomes less enticing and Lincoln escapes with Jordan Two Delta (Scarlett Johansson). It is later revealed by friend McCord (Steven Buscemi) "you are clones of people out in the real world". From here onwards the rest of the film can be described in two words: Chase Movie. The Actors make sure to remind you by repeatedly shouting 'run'.
Despite some impressive action sequences this movie is progressively boring. Although you cannot expect a lot from Bay this is his worst movie to date. The script is fruitless when conveying any drama or suspense and there are also those irritating comic cameos courtesy of Bay's strange jocosity. This is where he uses black actors to strike you with a witty one liner to give the bone crushing action that humorous spin. However praise is due for managing to utilize product placement to contribute to the storyline; Johansson's Calvin Klein ad helps the flustered character confirm that she is a clone.
The issue of human cloning is barely toyed with and as though biting back at the Americana he loves an extreme view is taken and the finger is pointed at the new American Dream: to remain forever young. However this is a change from Bay's usual films where America triumphs over adversity and prevents a cataclysmic disaster- again.
His infamous policy of 'style over substance' is already trivial; the film just feels like a 2-hour advertisement. Where the token slow motion effect, heavily edited shots and metal tracks cover for the absence of a story. No amount of loud sound effects and distorted guitar is going to badger anyone into mindlessly enjoying this. Even Bay admits that this film might be his first flop as it fails to attract the box office millions he is used to.