Goodfellas for Geriatrics

Rating: 3/10 (5 December 2019)

First things first. Scorsese was robbed off the Best Picture for Goodfellas in 1990. It was so good that it should be ranked alongside Godfather I and II as the Holy Trinity of mobster movies.
That said, The Irishman is anything but. To be honest, it is very, very overrated.
The story is a rehash of Goodfellas with the additional open-secret-about-Jimmy-Hoffa. It is slow, lumbering and most importantly, EVERYONE IS OLD and regardless of de-aging, they do not look convincing in their roles, nevermind credible. Pacino may come close with his over-the-top performance but that's just him in every movie since Scent of a Woman. Harvey Keitel looks distinguished from a distance maybe. But the rest. Seriously. People are raving about Ray Romano, de Niro etc Please. They hardly do anything that stands out. We don't even care if they live or die (same goes for almost everyone in the movie). There is no one to root for let alone feel for. Even the annoying Pesci dying in Goodfellas made us feel something. Even the Spider he shot.
I get that The Irishman is a winter sonata by Scorsese. He doesn't have much tricks left and this was too big a payday for him and his closest buddies to pass up BUT save the 3 hours and rewatch Goodfellas from 1990. It was the last movie Scorsese pulled out all the stops for and gave us his guts and glory. It entertained and it made us feel and it made us yearn for the mobster lifestyle like some guilty pleasure.
This Irishman is too drunk ad bloated on its own compliments that it deserves to sleep it off. Doesn't even deserve a courtesy Salut.