Long, dull, uneventful

Rating: 1/10 (15 November 2019)

Remember Bugsy Malone? That gangster film where all the characters were kids?
Well, The Irishman is a gangster film where all the characters are geriatrics. At the start of the film, De Niro's CGI youthened character still looked like he's 50. They all do. They're old, fat, hunched, liver-spotted killers, even when they're supposedly young(er). It's weird.
The film just drags on and on and never really gets going. The plot is disjointed and never really tells a story or builds a narrative. Unlike Scorsese's classics like Casino or Goodfellas, this film really struggles to develop a story worth watching.
3.5 hours. $160M budget. Good Lord. At least this rubbish will be 'free' on Netflix soon. There's a reason no one else wanted it - it wasn't going to make any money at the cinema. Even the $13 you pay for Netflix is too much for this film.