The Omnibot 7000's first screenplay

Rating: 2/10 (10 November 2004)

People have been making fun of superhero clichés for more than ten years, since before The Tick, Tiny Toons and the like, and this itself has been a cliché: to observe, "Bad guys have giant secret lairs! And they "monologue" before they kill you! LOL." It's an easier formula than actually inventing a new superhero saga.
Now this worn-out schtick has unfortunately become the basis for a Pixar movie. Not nearly as well-written as "Toy Story," this thing feels like it was written on autopilot, with only the most obvious plot developments proceeding from the "what if a suburban family were superheroes?" premise with a clanking predictability (Writer: "OMG, here's the part where they fight over a remote control! And they fight over traffic directions! And...what else do married couples do?") that made me wonder whether Brad Bird was a screenwriter's pseudonym for Omnibot 7000.
While the movie pretends like it's about breaking out of suburban conformity, it comes across like a celebration of it. I would rather have watched a movie about Samuel Jackson's character, Frozone, who provides some spark amid the numbing sitcom vibe.
The pic further loses points for taking cheap shots at the French, public interest law, and human life. 'Cuz halfway through, the movie seems to get superheroes badly confused with James Bond, and this annoying family proceeds to spend quite a while killing off identical-looking bad guys, rather remorselessly: someone is blown to bits, and in the next shot everyone is hugging. The family that kills together...
Real superheroes bring people to justice, rather than slaughtering them. Not that this is a violent movie in its slaying of faceless drones. No, what you get feels like you're stuck at the house of the dullest people you know, while they play PS2 in their living room. I liked it better when it was called "Metal Gear."
And, yeah, would a memorable joke be too much to ask?