That's Not Incredible

Rating: 4/10 (3 December 2008)

Did I ask for a Hulk “reboot”? Did anyone? I guess they felt that the last one, succinctly titled Hulk, was somewhat lacking. But perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be; here we are, just a few years later, and the new Hulk movie is about as lifeless and predictable as the first, only with A-list actors suffering within it. The Incredible Hulk is ambitious but no more compelling or vivacious as an actual comic book, with one-dimensional characters and a perfectly horrendous stab at acting by the normally reliable William Hurt.
I remember that one of the big knocks against Hulk was the unconvincing CGI. I think that problem is more or less resolved here, as the new and improved Hulk looks terrifyingly real, not just an ogre with a soft center but really menacing. Sadly, though, this Hulk has more personality and joie de vive than any of his live-action counterparts. It’s perplexing, really, because this time around the studio opened up the checkbook for such bankable stars as Hurt, Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, and Tim Roth. They’re all out acted by the fx (save Norton, who’s just as effortlessly wonderful as always), which has to be a jolt to the ol’ ego, but none greater than to Hurt, who has decades of flavorful, heavily nuanced performances on his resume.
As with most superheroes, Hulk is completely misunderstood. Bruce Banner has inflicted a metric ton of gamma rays on himself in the interest of science, only to find out the military for which he worked really wants to weaponize him, so he’s hiding out in Brazil when the movie opens. Somehow, he has to get information back to an unknown scientist contact, before the army, led by General Ross (Hurt), finds him first. He also wants to reconnect with his girlfriend Betty (Tyler), who happens to be Ross’ daughter. But darn the luck, he can’t keep his heart rate low enough to avoid Hulking all over the place. So it’s an protracted chase scene, with the faceless, heartless military running after the green thing.
There’s a wild card here, too. If you’ve read the comic books, you know there’s always gonna be another Big Bad Guy to fight someone like Hulk, because sooner or later watching him swat away missiles like he’s King Kong gets kind of dull. So writers gin up an even bigger dude for him to fight. Here, he’s played by Tim Roth, who’s a major following Ross’s orders.
The CGI still isn’t terribly believable, but sinking this one even further is the illogic of the plot. I love how nothing ever seems to hurt Hulk - bullets, shotgun shells, tanks, helicopters, they all roll off him and explode in a huge blast. But they keep firing anyway. Oh, and General Ross just keeps calling in bigger artillery. It ain’t working, fool! But the best is that of course only Hulk and Hulk alone can stop Roth, even if he’s not Hulky. Of course only he can save the day, him and his purple pants.
I still can’t get over the fact that William Hurt is playing this blustery, distant, single-minded authority figure. Was Powers Boothe not available? Kurtwood Smith? R. Lee Ermey? When I think of William Hurt, I think of quiet intellectualism. Sure, sometimes his characters are cold and aloof, but they’re still sensitive and pining and not at all like the overreaching, despotic Ross. Weird casting doesn’t always work, you know.
Norton does his level best, but the movie’s just a shambles. It’s stereotypical comic-book fare, only it’s not terribly interesting, and the effects are more akin to a good video game than an expensive Hollywood movie.