Appalling and trite trash

Rating: 1/10 (11 September 2014)

Totally awful, so lacking in merit that I'm reluctant to rate it so high as a 1.
What sort of psychopathic misfits would dream up, write, provide finance for, approve, cast, produce, direct, act in and film such nonsense.
There is not one believable character, not one stand-out scene, not one memorable line of dialogue. The acting is consistently ordinary, the faces are expressionless, the location scenery unremarkable. The entire concept is stupid. There is not one even vaguely humorous moment.
There is only one way to rate a movie, and that is to see it. No amount of pre-publicity, newspaper articles or reviews can prepare me for the awfulness.
Every single person connected with this should be confined to Alcatraz as "penance", (the eighth word of the preamble, which is so appropriate) for inflicting this on the public.
Oh, I suppose the line "I'll take the bow... I'm kidding" will raise a smirk.