Painfully contrived, far too long

Rating: 2/10 (10 December 2006)

I knew what I was getting myself into when I accompanied some friends to this movie. I knew it was a "chick flick" but I didn't dislike it for this reason, I disliked it because it was a lesson in bad film making regardless of genre. The plot is so contrived that from the outset you just don't believe the characters are real. Horrible screen writing, chock full of expository speech, you don't have to draw your own conclusions about the characters because their only actions are explaining what they think about themselves and the other characters. Jack Black is laughable as a romantic lead, and I do mean laughable because its hard not to laugh at how bad he is. His romantic gaze comes off as downright creepy. Diaz, Law and Winslet try really hard but the dialog is so bad that they have very little to work with. I'll give credit where it's due, Law is the only one that rises above the horrible script to inject some life and charm in his character. You can see why Diaz likes him, but not the other way around. And the Winslet, Black romance is just strange. Oh and did I mention that its over 2 hours long? The final painful detail, is that there is a subplot about an old Hollywood screenwriter (played by Eli Wallach quite well) and this leads to all sorts of idealism about great storytelling that is quite ironic in this film. There are a bunch of "awww" moments and some funny moments that will make the film watchable for non-discerning film goers, but on the whole this is just a bad movie, and I wish I could have those two hours of my life back.