Go watch Bridget Jones

Rating: 1/10 (13 December 2006)

It is hard to put in words how awful, manipulative and clunky this film is. We start off in the emotional maelstrom of the latter stages of a relationship. The way the film chooses to capture this is by showing Cameron Diaz clench her fists and do a little dance of anger in much the same way a 10 year old in her first stage play might do so while trying her best to pretend her parents aren't in the audience. We are then introduced to Kate Winslet who has her heart broken by a one-time lover in front of her work colleagues, we are then treated this movies version of comic timing - she wanders home past various London landmarks (to establish where we are if you haven't worked it out from the accents, and other scenes of travel before finally erupting in (sudden! Unexepected!) anguish at her beautifully ramshackle country home (the cottage from Babe re-kitted out with the latest in modern appliances). I think somebody at the back of the cinema may even have managed a laugh, though they could have been choking on their popcorn, hard to say for sure really.
It got worse though, I pictured the writer writing the movie thus: "The Scene Where The Girl Gets Suspicious of The Boy Talking To Other Women On The Phone Even Though She Doesn't Want To", she then probably skipped ahead a bit to write "The Scene Where There Is A Perfectly Innocent Explanation For Talking to Other Women On The Phone". Oh yes can we have some seasonal music as well (soundtracks are a profit centre). Every Scene has a an similarly obvious title/objective to it which is usually guessable in under 10 seconds. If you want to watch a similar chick flick watch Bridget Jones I on DVD, if you still have the urge watch the sequel, if you are still not happy go watch the first one again it'll be a lot less predictable than this effort.