Rather spoon my eyeballs out of my head

Rating: 1/10 (27 November 2015)

This movie ruined Christmas. We made the terrible mistake of watching this movie as a family. Needless to say, we are now down by several family members. Our wee Nan, loved by many,awoke from her yuletide slumber in preparation for this movie. The appearance of Cameron Diaz made her depart for the nether realms. We miss you Nan, RIP. This v*ginal discharge of a movie not only took our Nan from us, but also robbed me of my eyes, which are currently floating in my tall glass of eggnog after the need to spoon them out after the movie started. Cam's choppy bob is not only the least festive thing I have seen in my 12 short years of life, but it looks sh*t too. When in doubt Cammy, never go for the choppy bob. The bit where that moody cow is staring at some trees was alright, hence the one star. The rest, rather die. Overall, it was a fun Christmas, despite Grandpa singeing off his hair on the CRIMBO pudding!!!1 P.S. Jude Law kisses like my dead Nan.